


Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton

by hope91



Series: Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton [1]
Category: The Hobbit (Jackson Movies), The Hobbit - J. R. R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Awkward Flirting, Dating, Dol Goldur Estates, Eloping, Engagement, Ettenmoors Cellars, F/F, F/M, Friendship, Light Angst, Light-Hearted, Longbeard's miniature golf, M/M, On Hiatus, Renewal of Vows, Skilled Flirting, Smaug is an airline with terrible customer service, TLKN-network, Weddings, Wineries - Greenwood Collection, parties that give Bilbo headaches, quest-inspired corporate scavenger hunt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-04-28
Updated: 2014-10-29
Packaged: 2018-01-21 03:42:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 75,159
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1536290
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hope91/pseuds/hope91
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Lifelong friends Gimli and Legolas watch others find true love in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton (a modern-day Middle Earth condensed into a town), wondering if they will ever find it for themselves. A Modern AU blend of the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings, from Bilbo's unexpected gatherings to the quest-inspired scavenger hunt pitting Thorin's Lonely Mountain Mining against Sauron's AZOG empire in a battle for Arkenstone Hills. Friendship, romance (and some jealousy and fighting and making up) throughout. </p><p>(and if at times Bilbo Baggins wishes he hadn't listened to his Took side, especially when the white car with the license plate SHDWFX pulls into his driveway, it doesn’t matter, for if all we listened to was reason, we might not find the One we want to hold the rest of our lives.  He just needs to make sure he has lots of aspirin on hand to take care of his headaches along the way.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This is what best friends are for, helping with mundane tasks.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the town of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, a tall blond and his short ginger-haired friend reflect on their friendship and the ridiculous musings of a well-to-do Adar, and then they fix some plumbing. For mundane tasks are part of everyone’s life, even the smallest person's, and some of the best curse words are meant to be muttered in Hebrew.

As the spring sun blazed above Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, Gimli heaved his second piece of stone for the day onto the rock bed while Legolas stared at him out of the corner of his eye, unable to tear himself from the sight of his friend, his momentary expression wistful. Then he shoved his untoward thoughts from his mind and focused his attention once more at the task on hand. 

Gimli, meanwhile, was completely absorbed in their project. Legolas had already put seventeen pieces down while the short ginger-haired man had been on the phone with his CEO, Thorin Oakenshield, and he felt an unbearable urge to catch up to his friend. Legolas’ flower garden project was turning into a bit of a nightmare, beginning to fill him with tiny inklings of the inexplicable dread he had each year at the Goblin King's _Paths of the Dead_ Halloween Extravaganza. Each day the tall blond would look at the progress thus far, change his mind slightly about the configuration, and then proceed to (guiltily) help Gimli reorganize the stone borders that they were building on the sloping hill beside his house. Gimli didn’t really mind, as his blustering was clearly fond, but he did repeatedly mutter that Legolas _could_ try to be less of the absent-minded professor and more of a _planner_. "If anyone was to ask for my opinion," he grumbled good-naturedly, "which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way around in doing this." 

Legolas smiled in his sometimes-too-sunny way. "Come on, Gimli!"

Gimli blustered back, trying to pretend he didn't warm to his friend's gentle smile. "Three days and nights working on this. No food, no rest!" 

Legolas shook his head and laughed. "You exaggerate, my friend, you exaggerate. The sun is getting to your head, or maybe you've been into Merry and Pippin's cocktails again? The Signature Cocktail?" He smiled, remembering with fondness how he and Gimli had enjoyed the opening day of their friends' _Prancing Pony Bar & Restaurant_ venture, and Gimli couldn't help but smile back, each of them silently appreciative that their friendship had been rekindled as if it had never dimmed.

They had been unlikely best friends in elementary school, the short-statured, stocky ginger-haired boy and his thin, tall blond friend, the former interested in all things mechanical and hands-on in nature, the latter somewhat of a dreamer. As both grew older, they were known to be passionate and dedicated, poetic and kind; Gimli was known for his gruff nature and Legolas for being unapproachable. _GimliandLegolas_ , where one was the other could be found. They were roommates in college, both attending the well-regarded university in their hometown of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, and their friendship became all the stronger.

Then Legolas moved halfway across the world to pursue his PhD in Astronomy while Gimli studied Geology on the other side of the country. They had stayed in contact at first, but the distance gradually took its toll. Especially when they each started serious relationships, Gimli with Galadriel and Legolas with Tauriel.   And perhaps each had decided it was time to move on from the musings of childhood. Rare phone calls and skyping became nonexistent, and they didn’t talk to each other for at least two years.

Gimli dropped out of his program about three-quarters of the way through, sternly repeating to everyone who asked that he had decided it wasn’t for him, and it was pointless to waste his life on something he didn’t ultimately want to do, and wasn’t it _good_ that he had _figured that out_? Of course, those close to him knew differently. They knew that he was completely and utterly heartbroken when Galadriel had left him and eloped with Celeborn. They knew that he found some measure of solace back in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton with his huge extended family. Gimli had tried calling Legolas a couple of times after everything happened, but the calls hadn’t been returned, perhaps because it had been so long since they had talked, perhaps because Legolas was hurt by the ending of their friendship, perhaps Gimli just had the wrong number. 

Almost as soon as he arrived back home, Gimli went into the family business, for he was of the mind that dedication to work would help him heal his broken heart. LM2 ( _Lonely Mountain Mining_ ) was a very successful operation, and its CEO, Thorin Oakenshield, made Gimli his newly appointed Environmental Officer, for Gimli’s previous friendship with Legolas had left him both very interested in and informed about the potential negative environmental impact of mining; his abandoned dissertation had targeted a very similar topic in geological exploration, after all. Gimli worked hard in his new role, although this was no surprise, as everyone knew he always worked hard.

Legolas eventually moved back with Tauriel in tow, returning to their hometown’s university to take an assistant professorship. He and Gimli occasionally ran into each other over the next couple of years, maintaining a pleasant but distant acquaintance, each assuming they had permanently grown apart and the once-best-friendship had run its course, safely tucked into their childhoods.

Then Aragorn had asked both of them to join him for a college reunion of sorts in California, a fundraiser for the charity he ran in his spare time. They readily agreed, for the charity was a nonprofit counseling center for bereaved children, a cause both noble and close to Aragorn’s own heart. Soon enough they found themselves on a month-long minimalist camping trip in a forest near Big Sur, capped off by running the Big Sur marathon, three friends maintaining pace side by side under the open sky. Their family and friends, most of whom were quite well-off, donated substantial money for each day they basically lived off the land and for each mile they ran.

It had been one of the best times of their respective lives, one they would remember forever. Gimli and Legolas found themselves reconnecting with Aragorn _and_ with each other, and at the end of the trip both wondered if the whole thing might have been a scheme of sorts on Aragorn’s part. However, he was a hard one to read and would never admit to something like that, but did it really matter? They left Big Sur tired, satisfied and recharged, closer than they had ever been before, and all who knew them were pleased to see the change in their relationship, best friends once more.

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

And now Gimli found himself helping Legolas with his latest landscaping project (and there had been a few of these already, as his yard was over an acre of grass, with a few more acres of woods).

Gimli’s phone buzzed, interrupting his stone-laying, and he read the text, sending a message back. “I have to go, Eowyn said the basement is flooding again, and she doesn’t know what to do.”

The bearded ginger-haired man had been roommates with Éowyn since his return to town. Dis, the COO of LM2 kept a horse at the large ranch Éowyn worked at, a ranch that had been in Éowyn’s family for at least a century and was now run by her uncle Theoden. Dis knew that Éowyn was having trouble finding a new housemate, and Dis correctly guessed that Gimli would fill the role well. Éowyn and Gimli had quickly become good friends, and others were sometimes jealous of their easy luck in finding such compatibility easily and without effort, especially those who had roommate horror-stories. Gimli remembered the horror stories Éowyn’s uncle Theoden had about his old roommate Grima, who sounded absolutely psychopathic.  And then there was Legolas’ priest Gandalf, who had once told the most horrific story about his old seminary roommate Saruman during a service Gimli had attended. Even though only bits and pieces were disclosed, it sounded like an even-worse nightmare.

Legolas looked surprised at Éowyn’s inability to manage the plumbing problem. “Éowyn seems like she would happily be able to fix plumbing, she's pretty self-reliant.”

“Yes, but she doesn’t know _how_ , her father only taught her brother those sorts of things, and in her defense this particular problem can’t be googled and figured out.”

Gimli covered up the remainder of the stone with a tarp. “I'll come back in a couple of days, depends on how things are going with work. Are you coming to my cousin’s party this weekend? He said you didn’t respond to his invitation yet.”

“I’m not sure if Tauriel can go, she might have to run an event at her studio. It’s been a bit hard to get off the ground, there’s a surprising amount of competition here.” Tauriel had left her position in the School of Dentistry at the same university Legolas worked at, and had been trying to start a Tae Kwon Do studio for the past 6 months. Gimli admired her ability to take risks.

“Well, _you_ can still come. You haven’t seen Fili and Kili since, what, 3 rd grade?”

“No, I’ve seen them more recently than that. Blond and brunette, right? About your height? No beards? I think I last saw them at your Uncle Óin’s wedding, our second year of college. Remember?”

Gimi laughed. “Yes, I do remember that. Good times.” He put his hand on Legolas’ shoulder. “I'm very glad to have found you again, my friend.”

“Me too, Gimli. I'll ask Tauriel, she will be coming over for dinner tonight, and if she can’t go, I'll be your date." And then he immediately regretted saying that, internally berating himself for letting true feelings show that he was determined to keep to himself.

“Ah, not so fast, that would be too soon for courtship!” Gimli laughed, not noticing Legolas' internal struggle, thinking it was just another example of their ease in joking with one another. Then he grew serious. “Legolas, you have been dating her for eight years now, don’t you think it might be time to move onto the next step? Get engaged maybe?” Gimli had always thought it a bit old-fashioned that his friend was committed to being a virgin until he got married, but he respected that. He was, however, more than a bit concerned that things never seemed to move forward in Legolas’ relationship. It was starting to remind him of everything that had been wrong in his relationship with Galadriel.

Legolas bristled. Gimli rarely brought this up, for at least his friend knew how much it bothered him to discuss this. “Gimli, when the time is right I’ll know. There's a time and place for everything right?”

Gimli muttered under his breath, “Maybe it's not the time or place that’s the issue for you, maybe it’s the person.”

Legolas seemed to ignore the comment, knowing his friend had no idea how correct that might be.

“Alright, I need to go before Éowyn has my head.” He packed his tools up in the back of his enormous SUV, the _most_ fuel-inefficient vehicle that a person could buy, in Legolas’ opinion! Someday he would get Gimli to buy something more environmentally-friendly. After all, his friend was an Environmental Officer now.

Legolas went inside and opened his laptop, intent on finishing the draft for the grant he had to submit. It was so incredibly _boring_ ; sometimes he wished he had dropped out of grad school like Gimli had, although his friend didn’t seem to be very happy with his job either. Legolas felt like it was in his destiny to study the stars, but _this_ , this was not all it was cut out to be. Sometimes he wished he could take a risk, be more like Tauriel. Become a forest ranger like he had wanted to be, but his father had talked him out of it. And his Adar would just say that Tauriel was in danger of losing everything because the business just wasn’t bringing in the income she had estimated. It was sinking so fast that it wouldn’t have the cashflow to survive for the rocky three to five years so crucial to a new business.

Legolas had already obtained a significant investment for her studio from his father, which Thranduil hadn’t been too keen on. His father had never been keen on Tauriel, and she seemed to know it, although Legolas could never figure out exactly what his Adar didn’t like about her. What wasn’t to like? Just last month Thranduil had said that Legolas would be better off with Gimli, which Legolas had told him was _ridiculous_ , absolutely ridiculous. _“Gimli is a good influence on you; Tauriel is too reckless. Gimli looks out for you, Tauriel is too focused on herself. Blah, blah, blah.”_ Legolas wanted to tell his Adar how much he wished that was true, but just couldn't bring himself to do it. And when he had told Gimli, his friend laughed so heartily that it proved once more to Legolas that the inner desires of his heart would never be realized, that he was better off sticking it out with Tauriel. And then Gimli told him he hadn't laughed so hard in a long time, cementing his own thoughts.

Deciding to put his work away, Legolas went to the kitchen and started cooking dinner. Gimli had found him a few new recipes to try, and there was one in particular that looked good. He took out the extra vegetables Gimli had brought him today from the farmer’s market, and tried to decide which would work best. Halfway through cooking, Tauriel texted, letting him know that she couldn’t make it tonight after all, the studio was too busy.

Gimli had texted him also, something about some new stone that had arrived at his house. So he texted him back, letting him know that he had a bunch of extra food, and would he and Éowyn like to come over?

There was a quick reply, _No, need to work on plumbing, bring it over here?_

_Of course._

It was about a 15 minute drive, quite pleasant he always thought, especially now that the tree-lined road had a canopy of fragrant spring blossoms. The house itself was very modest, befitting the down-to-earth and practical nature of the two friends. Legolas parked in their small driveway, waving at the next-door neighbor who was ever-present on his front porch with his pipe in hand.

Éowyn saw Legolas arrive and met him at his car, helping him carry in the dishes. “Mr. Baggins,” she said to her neighbor, “Would you like to join us for dinner? Legolas has kindly brought it for us.”

The short middle-aged man smiled, “Oh thank you Éowyn, but my nephew Frodo is bringing over his new friend Sam in just a little bit. Sam apparently knows a lot about gardening, and he is going to help me with mine.”

“Oh that’s lovely, Mr. Baggins. Well, if you would like to all come over, feel free!”

“Thank you Éowyn, we shall need to do that another time, for I also know that Gimli is working on the plumbing and I do not want to risk his mood!”

They all laughed, for they knew that Gimli was likely grumbling about said plumbing at this very moment, muttering Hebrew curse words under his breath.

Legolas and Éowyn went into the house and began reheating the dishes he had made.   They could both hear Gimli in the basement, and he was indeed swearing in Hebrew. Legolas was impressed at how non-plussed Éowyn was.

“Legolas, you need to come out to the ranch this weekend, Arod misses you!” He felt a bit guilty, as work had kept him away from his horse for almost two weeks. He knew Éowyn and her family took great care of him at the Rohan Ranch, but still…. “I will meet you and Gimli in the village, we can have breakfast first at the restaurant in Edoras, they have new owners!”

“Well, there is no way I could refuse that!” He smiled.

A short time later, Legolas had finished his dinner preparations, and Éowyn called Gimli upstairs. He responded with a bellow up the stairs, “Can you try the water first? I think I have fixed it.” And indeed he had. Pleased with himself, he stalked up the stairs into the small kitchen. “It smells delicious.” And then he looked at Éowyn, slightly alarmed but trying to find a polite way to ask a necessary question (and he found none, being a bit too comfortable with his friends). “Wait, Legolas cooked all of this, right?” They all laughed, for the first time Éowyn had cooked for them…well, it became the last time as well. She spoke merrily, “I told you that I am not a good cook, and you insisted on my proceeding with that dinner! So it is actually your own fault!”

They sat down to eat, talking about various things, the night whittling away quickly. Discussion turned to the party Gimli’s cousin was throwing on Saturday, a party that half the town seemed to have been invited to. “Are you going, Legolas?”

“Yes, I have been commanded to go. And I might be escorted in style by Lord Gimli, here.”

Éowyn laughed. And then a thought seemed to come to her. “Is your friend Aragorn back in town? Will he be there?”

Gimli and Legolas knew she had a crush on their friend, and both had tried to warn her against it, fully aware that the break Aragorn was taking from his long-term partner Arwen was just that, a break. Regardless, love on the rebound tended to not go well. Aragorn had started keeping a horse at Rohan’s Ranch after seeing how much Legolas enjoyed Arod. The horse, Hasufel, was orphaned by its previous owner, and Aragorn had nicknamed him Brego. He loved spending time at the ranch as much as Legolas did, and Éowyn had started to develop quite the interest in the scruffily-handsome man.

No point in arguing with her anymore, though. She had already heard what they had to say, and Éowyn was as interested as ever in doing things _her_ way. She turned to Gimli. “My brother Éomer is moving back to town. Is it ok if he goes also? It would be good for him to meet some people.”

“Absolutely. As Fili and Kili would say, the more the merrier. You’ll like him Legolas, he’s a good guy.”

After a time, Legolas reluctantly stood up to leave; he had to teach a class early tomorrow morning and needed to prepare for it. “It’s been fun, but I should go.”

Gimli walked him outside, and sure enough there was Mr. Baggins, outside smoking his pipe. “Gimli! Legolas! Come and meet Frodo’s friend Sam!”

They walked over to the porch; Sam’s light-colored hair was a stark contrast to Frodo’s, and they were the same height, making them somewhat shorter than Gimli. Sam seemed particularly soft-spoken, which was somewhat of a relief to Legolas; he loved Frodo’s other friends, especially his cousins Merry and Pippin, but they were absolutely _exhausting_ to be around.

Bilbo made introductions. “They’ve just come back from their expenses-paid stay at Bombadil’s Bed and Breakfast with Merry and Pippin! You know, they had won it at the Flight of the Nazgûl festival. Frodo says they had quite a good time at Bombadil’s, much more to do there than they had expected! And they all had the most strange dreams there! But I digress! I know you were thinking of going there sometime with your friend Tauriel, Frodo would be happy to tell you about it!”

Frodo laughed. “I definitely would, but Uncle, it looks like Legolas was leaving. At Kili and Fili’s party this weekend, perhaps?”

“Absolutely, dear nephew, I shall tell them then. Good to see you!” Legolas walked back with Gimli to his car, talking quietly for a bit before driving away.

Had he still been there, Legolas would have overheard the soft conversation that came from the porch, as he had better-than-average hearing. Gimli’s hearing was just average, though, and so he didn’t hear a thing those on the porch spoke of while he was dragging the trash cans out for morning pick-up.

“Pardon me, Mr. Baggins, but are they dating?” Sam asked.

Frodo couldn’t help but answer the question directed towards his uncle, laughing merrily. “Gimli and Legolas? I should think Mount Doom would freeze over before that happened!”

Bilbo was thoughtful. “I’ve seen stranger things than that.”

Frodo looked at his uncle with a raised eyebrow, but didn’t say anything more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khazâd = Dwarf  
> Edhel = Elf  
> Adar = Father (Sindarin)  
> LM2 = Lonely Mountain Mining, Thorin's company
> 
> Legolas is Catholic, Gimli Jewish (based on the likely influence of the first religion on Tolkien's elves and the likely influence of Judaism on his dwarves). Gandalf is a Priest in this story (i.e., based on him being Olorin the Maia in the Undying Lands......).
> 
> At the beginning of June 2014 I edited the beginning of this chapter slightly so that it fits better with the rest of the story.


	2. Two Unexpected Gatherings and the Start of a Third

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> How Bilbo Baggins decides that construction noise in front of his house is a most lovely sound that should be embraced. For trying to avoid said noise leads to being awkwardly stranded in a kitchen listening to profane words from ex-lovers whose relationship seems more unbelievable than the worst flight on the Smaug Express (And if you see a white car with the license plate SHDWFX pull into your driveway, don’t offer the scruffy gray-clad driver any tea, especially if you are out of aspirin).

The next evening, as the sun was setting over Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, Bilbo Baggins was sitting outside on his front porch once more, smoking his pipe, enjoying the late spring air. His shy-fiery-polite neighbor Éowyn had come back from the airport an hour ago, bringing home her brother Éomer, who would stay with her until he found a place to live. They both raved to Bilbo about the excellent flight he had taken on Great Eagle Airlines. He decided he would try that airline sometime; while the service sounded most minimal, the price was right, and it _had_ to be better than the Smaug Express. He shivered at the completely horrible flight he had last time, the pilot veering this way and that without warning. And if that was not enough, all that airline cared about was taking his money. They charged for _everything_. Where did they put all of their profit, in the CEO’s basement gathering dust? It certainly wasn’t used on amenities or customer service training. The seats may as well have been made of stone and the flight attendants were witty and well-learned, but not in a customer-friendly way. He still felt burned.

Bilbo thought back to the first time he met Éomer. It had been the same day he met Gimli as well, although it was pure coincidence that he ran into each of them on the same day. That day Éowyn had invited him to drive out to Rohan Ranch with her and work on his freelance writing projects there. She knew he was having trouble concentrating in his home office due to roadwork on their street. He never said a word about the noise, as he was not one to always voice his complaints, but it was easy enough for her to see his frustration. _  
_

He had been taking a break from his work, feeding some carrots to one of the Ranch’s ponies, a friendly one named Myrtle, when Éowyn brought Éomer over to meet him.

“Mr. Baggins, this is my brother, Éomer. I think I had told you that he is here to visit me for a little bit while he is in between his tours of duty? I wanted you to meet him, and I am hoping you can get to know each other a bit while he stays at my house. My cousin just picked him up from the airport, and we will be driving him back to my place this evening if that sounds ok to you." Bilbo nodded. Éowyn turned to her brother. “Éomer, this is my neighbor Bilbo Baggins, he works as a freelance writer and is a very good friend of mine.”

They made introductions and exchanged pleasantries; Bilbo thought Éomer was a pleasant enough gentleman, polite, no nonsense, a bit standoffish, a bit sullen. A classic military man, he supposed, though he hadn’t met anyone in the military before, so wasn’t quite certain about that. He seemed like the type of person who would be very protective of his sister and perhaps had a temper at times. Then Éowyn took her brother to see their Uncle Théoden in the Ranch's barn, and Bilbo went back to his work, settling under a tree, a habit he had learned to enjoy from Frodo.

A little while after that, he was interrupted by a short, bearded ginger-haired man. “Excuse me, no one is in the main office, and I was wondering if you work here?”

Bilbo looked up at the man and smiled at him. “Oh sorry, I don’t, but who are you looking for? I might be able to help you.

“Her name is Éowyn.... I am here to talk about renting with her.”

“Oh! You must be Gimli, she told me about you! I am her next door neighbor, my name is Bilbo Baggins.” He had jumped up from his spot on the ground and shook the man’s hand. Then Bilbo looked a bit stern. “Maybe I will interview you also, make sure you will be a good fit for her, although it sounds like she really knows the person who decided you might be a good match, and trusts her judgment.”

“Yes, Dis, she’s COO at the company I work for, LM2.  It’s a mining company.”

“Yes, I’ve heard of it. Alright, let me take you to find her, she is around here somewhere.”

Bilbo led Gimli to the barn, where he thought Éowyn had gone, but she wasn’t there. Then he spotted Éowyn out in the field, working with a few of the horses. He caught her attention and she took Gimli and Bilbo into the main house to talk. Bilbo was pleased that the two had a very nice conversation, by the end of it deciding that they liked one another quite a bit and if Dis thought they would be good roommates, well, why not. And Éowyn was pleased that Bilbo gave it his stamp of approval.

They had just finished talking about rent and utilities and move-in dates and were moving on to other details when Éomer walked into the room.

Gimli froze.

Éomer froze.

Éowyn frowned. “You know each other?”

Both stayed silent, and Bilbo felt _very_ uncomfortable, almost saying something to lighten the mood, then deciding it was inappropriate.

Éowyn looked at her brother. “Éomer, how do you know Gimli?”

Bilbo cleared his throat, and Éowyn looked over at him. “Mr. Baggins, would you like some tea or coffee? If you go down the corridor to the end of the hall you will see the kitchen on the left. We have a Keurig, the cups and everything else are right beside it. Help yourself to whatever you like, I think there are some cookies out as well.”

He quickly left the room, thanking his lucky stars that Éowyn was considerate and had given him a reason to exit, although he couldn’t _leave_ since she had driven them both here. He made himself a cup of Earl Grey, helped himself to one of the cookies, and sat down to work for a bit.

The work didn’t happen, though, because the screaming was too loud and distracting.

“Éowyn, I said this is none of your business!”

“Éomer, you’re a jackass with your sister too, what a surprise!”

“I am not, mind your own business!”

“Hate to tell you, this is my fucking business!”

“Stop it! STOP IT!”

“Fucking don’t ask, don’t tell, right Éomer? Fuck you!”

“Gimli, you don’t fucking understand it, how many fucking times did I tell you that! You’re the fucking asshole!"

“Fuck you!”

“STOP IT! STOP IT RIGHT NOW OR…”

And then there was silence.

But they didn’t come out of the room, and for Bilbo time was ticking by slowly, so slowly it seemed, and he started to feel even more out of place and uncomfortable. And he was stuck here until Éowyn drove him home. Was there a phone to call a cab? Why, today of all days, did he forget his cellphone at home?! Would a cab even drive out here?

Well, at least the screaming didn’t start again, so he went back to his work.

But, Took that he was, he was curious. For a very brief moment, he thought about eavesdropping, but then decided not to, that was most impolite and something Merry or Pippin would do.

Eventually Éowyn came into the kitchen. “I’m really sorry, Mr. Baggins. Really sorry. This is definitely not what I’d planned for you today. Would’ve been better to stay at home!”

Bilbo smiled at her. “It's fine Éowyn, I actually got a lot done today. Unexpected gathering aside.”

She smiled back, though hers was more reserved. “Good. If you come back, I will try to make sure that you don’t end up in an awkward spot like that again. Well, are you ready to go?”

“What about your brother?”

She looked a bit apprehensive. “Gimli is going to give him a ride to my place. They both want to talk without me around, and Gimli wants to look at the house anyway.”

They had an uneventful drive back, purposely avoiding discussing the events that preceded their ride home. Bilbo was sitting on his front porch when Gimli drove up with Éomer. They both waved politely at him and went into Éowyn’s house.

Bilbo had thought from the start of the overheard argument that they must have been dating at some point. That seemed pretty obvious. And he just couldn’t see it. Couldn’t see it at all.

Gimli moved in with Éowyn after Éomer had left for military duty again, and while they mentioned him occasionally to Bilbo, in passing almost, they never talked about what had happened. Which Bilbo decided he preferred, for it really wasn’t any of his business.

Now Éomer was back in town, not having been back since then. Bilbo was somewhat surprised that he had decided to leave the military and run Rohan Ranch, as he knew he had climbed up the ladders of rank very fast and was a natural leader, but Éowyn had also told him that Theoden’s illness was making it hard for their Uncle to work, and Éomer seemed like the kind of person who put his loyalty toward his family first. Though service to country seemed like it would be close behind, and Bilbo imagined it was a difficult decision.

Éowyn told Bilbo that her brother might move into the neighborhood, as he was going to look at the house for sale on Meduseld Drive. She was excited at the possibility, saying she had missed him a lot. Bilbo knew they were close and had been through a lot together, losing their parents so tragically. He made a mental note to tell Éowyn that Aragorn’s bereaved children’s nonprofit was holding an informational meeting for their newest venture next week, seeking to match adults who had lost their parents when they were children with youth who were in similar situations. Frodo knew Éowyn would like volunteering in that capacity, and Bilbo agreed.

And while he was completely lost in that thought, a white car drove up and parked in his driveway, SHDWFX on the license plate.

It was Gandalf, priest of Legolas’ congregation. He had known him for a long time; Bilbo’s parents used to take him to Catechism classes at Gandalf’s church, but then they stopped going and switched to a nondenominational protestant church that they only went to on holidays, if there was time. He remembered getting into a fair share of trouble in those Catechism classes Gandalf taught, having ADHD as a child, but Gandalf didn’t seem to mind.

“Gandalf, what are you doing in the neighborhood? I haven’t seen you for quite some time.”

“Why, this is a nice coincidence, Bilbo Baggins! I am almost out of gas, and stopped to see if someone might be able to give me a bit so I can make it to the gas station. I am very happy to see that it is your house I stopped in front of!”

“I might have some gas in my garage, for my lawnmower, let me go look. Would you like to come in?” Bilbo thought that this was a bit strange. Who ran out of gas anymore driving around this town? It seemed like there were gas stations on every corner, but this was Gandalf after all, he seemed a bit flighty. Though sometimes Bilbo had wondered if it was an act, that maybe Gandalf knew what he was doing at all times. But there was no way Gandalf would have known he lived here; Bilbo was extremely cautious about his address after being stalked by Smeagol. And why would Gandalf want to see him anyway, he hadn’t seen him for years. He decided he needed to stop drinking coffee again, he was getting too anxious about silly things.

They went inside the house and Bilbo offered him some tea; after he put the kettle on Bilbo went into the garage and looked for gas. “Sorry Gandalf, I don’t have any. Do you want me to run to the gas station?”

Gandalf shook his head, his long hair and long beard shaking with it. “Oh no, that is fine, Bilbo. If it’s ok, can I just text a friend of mine that I was going to meet for dinner anyway? He can bring me some.”

Bilbo thought that was fine, and he was glad that the older man had dinner plans, as it meant he wouldn’t linger for too long. All Bilbo wanted to do tonight was relax and then go to bed. They drank their tea, chatting about random things, talking a bit about Legolas since they both knew him well. Bilbo wondered why Gandalf always dressed in gray and didn’t seem to brush his hair very thoroughly; was he related to Legolas and Gimli’s friend Aragorn, who dressed in black and had even messier hair? Somehow, though, it suited them both.

Soon enough the doorbell rang, and Bilbo answered it, glad that his guest would be on his way soon.

“Dwalin, at your service.”

Who talked like that anymore?

“Dwalin! Come in! Bilbo, would you mind if Dwalin had a bit of tea as well?”

“Um, sure. Have a seat.”

And then the doorbell rang again, and Bilbo frowned. He turned to Gandalf. “Did you text somebody else?”

“Oh yes, yes, I sent one to everyone, but no matter, we shall be on our way soon.”

Balin walked in, and Bilbo didn’t know him either. At least he seemed friendlier than the first fellow.

And then the doorbell rang again.

“Kili! FIli! It’s nice to see you! Are you looking for Gimli? Isn’t he at home right now? He isn’t over here, unfortunately.” Bilbo knew the brothers well; they visited Gimli often, and Bilbo liked how optimistic and lively they were.

“Mr. Baggins, it’s nice to see you as well. Gimli told us you are coming to our party this weekend, we are really excited to have you there. So no, Gimli isn't at home and Éowyn isn't either. We were hoping he might be over here. Is he with Legolas?” Then the brothers saw the other men at the kitchen table. “Dwalin! Balin! Gandalf! How are you? Mr. Baggins, do you mind if we stop in and say hi? We haven’t seen them for awhile.”

“Oh, certainly. Would you like some tea?” He wasn’t put off by this particular intrusion, for it wasn’t an intrusion to him at all. He knew and liked Gimli’s cousins, and it didn’t seem strange for them to be sitting at his kitchen table. In fact, it made everything feel much more comfortable.

They both took him up on his offer and helped themselves to tea.

Then Dori, Nori and Ori rang the doorbell and introduced themselves, thinking Gandalf had meant that their dinner plans had been switched to this address. Bilbo went to find more chairs and the extension leaf for the table. Then he put on more water for tea. “Would anyone like something to eat?” Everyone nodded, so Bilbo began to put together some snacks from the cupboards, ever the good host regardless of how much he just wanted to relax. He was not a complainer after all, although someone like Éowyn would have definitely seen that he was a bit flustered and annoyed.

When they started eating the finger foods that he could find in his cupboards, his unexpected guests’ eating almost outpacing Bilbo’s food refilling, the doorbell rang again.

“Glóin, Óin! Good to see you! Are you looking for Gimli? I think that he isn’t at home, unfortunately.”

Glóin spoke first. “Yes you’re right, he isn’t, and we need to drop off this contract for him. He needs to review it for a meeting tomorrow morning, but I don’t want to leave it in plain view. Can we leave it with you and ask him to pick it up here?"

“Definitely.” Bilbo quite liked Gimli’s father and uncle; they didn’t stop by Gimli’s house nearly as often as his cousins did, but what he saw of them he liked.

Then the pair spotted the others, and asked to join in for a moment. “Of course,” Bilbo said, and once again this made the situation a little less uncomfortable for him; now there were more people he knew fairly well than people he didn’t.

And when Bifur, Bofur and Bombur showed up, Bilbo went down to the deep freezer in the basement to look for more food, for the latter looked like he might eat quite a lot and the cupboards upstairs were bare. He wanted to be a good host, after all. But the deep freezer held only a shrimp platter and some popsicles. Hmm, had Merry and Pippin been into the food down here again?

He went back upstairs, realizing he had forgotten to look in the refrigerator, but when rummaging through it saw there wasn’t much left in there either. Yes, Merry and Pippin must have been over.

Then Bilbo decided to text Frodo, asking him when he was coming home.

_In about 15 minutes_

_Can you pick up some things to eat? Have about a dozen people here, ran out of food_

In a short while, Frodo showed up with Merry and Pippin, carrying a large assortment of take out and prepared food from the Whole Foods down the street. Bilbo didn’t want to know how much that had cost, for while Frodo had his credit card and was very conservative with his spending, the guilty look on Frodo’s face told Bilbo that Pippin had taken charge and ran up the balance by quite a bit. Oh well, it was all with good intent, Pippin never meant harm by things he did, he only tried to help, and he tried really hard.

It was getting loud now, and Bilbo and Frodo looked at each other with some degree of disbelief, Frodo not really understanding how this gathering had happened, and Bilbo not really being able to explain it to him. Merry and Pippin had been serving the unexpected guests a drink called the Prancing Pony, the signature cocktail at their new bar and restaurant of the same name. Bilbo knew the drinks were extremely potent, having decisively spit it out during their original taste testings several months ago, but everyone here seemed to be consuming them eagerly. Soon enough Merry, Pippin and Bofur were dancing on the kitchen table, and a couple of the others were passed out on the floor, but he couldn’t remember their names.

Bilbo, ever the responsible host that he was, offered everyone an invitation to stay the night. He didn’t want any drunk driving, so that meant everyone with the exception of Gandalf had to stay. And no one was in a position to go get gas for Gandalf, who didn’t drink. Well he could send Frodo or do it himself, but would getting Gandalf out of the house at this point really make any difference?

He may have wished he had thought differently about that last part, for at that moment he heard the loud _boom…..boom…..boom_ coming from the backyard. He wondered what that was, at the same time not really wanting to know, but he went to look out the back screen door anyway. There was Gandalf with some of the unexpected party guests, setting off fireworks that Bilbo had been storing in the garage.

“No! No! What are you doing! Those are illegal! Merry and Pippin bought them at one of those roadside stands and I haven’t figured out how to get rid of them yet! We’ll get in trouble! Someone will call the police!” That gave him a fleeting idea, maybe _he_ should call the police, but he dismissed that thought as soon as it came.

No one seemed to listen about stopping the fireworks. Oh well, there weren’t that many, and they were done soon enough. _But now where did these musical instruments come from?_ _And how was it possible to play a flute or a fiddle so loud?_ Bilbo knew that by the end of the night he would have a hefty ticket for disturbance of the peace, or whatever they gave to people who caused a ruckus. Having never caused a ruckus like this before, he didn’t know exactly what the ticket would be. But he was certain it would not be cheap.

Bilbo went up to his room, grabbed his pillow and blanket, and then asked Frodo to be in charge. Frodo seemed excited about this, which Bilbo understood, for his nephew was a young adult now and had never thrown a party. Bilbo picked up the contract that Glóin and Óin wanted Gimli to review, and then walked over to Éowyn and Gimli’s house, planning to ask if he could spend the night there and have some aspirin as well, as he had looked for some at home and found none. He really just wanted to _rest_ , that was all he had wanted to do all evening long.

But the night of unexpected gatherings wasn’t over yet. For when the gruff, handsome middle-aged man with long dark hair answered the door, Bilbo felt his heart leap like it had never leapt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Khazâd = Dwarf  
> Edhel = Elf  
> LM2 = Lonely Mountain Mining, Thorin's company


	3. On Contracts and Sparks Flying

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The unexpected party continues. Bilbo finds some aspirin, and Gandalf has the most ridiculous proposal for a team-building event ever, a scavenger hunt competition between Lonely Mountain Mining and the evil AZOG business empire. The prize? Arkenstone Hills. And somehow, Bilbo and Frodo Baggins find themselves committed to participating. A few sparks fly. And don't leave Legolas out of the sign-up for scavenger hunt competitions, or he will get very upset.

A few minutes before Bilbo Baggins knocked on Éowyn & Gimli’s front door, Thorin Oakenshield pulled up to the same modest house on Bag End Drive. Gimli’s car wouldn’t start when he had tried to leave work and the CEO of LM2 had offered to give him a ride, as it seemed to be something more serious than a dead battery, and fixing it could wait until tomorrow. As Gimli gathered his briefcase from the back seat of the often-stern CEO’s car, Thorin spoke, a concern growing in his mind. “Gimli, I don’t want to pry, but you need to work less. You work more than I do.” He knew Gimli had thrown himself into his work to avoid thinking about Galadriel when he first moved back to Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, but recently the younger man had been putting in a lot of extra hours again.

Gimli shrugged. “I don’t think that’s true. I spend a lot of time with my roommate and friends. And speaking of socializing, looks like I have a lot of visitors.” Gimli recognized some of the cars parked on the street, cars belonging to his cousins, his father and uncle, some of his coworkers.

Thorin frowned, ever skeptical. “What in Durin’s name would lead all of them here?“

Gimli shrugged again, his mind on other things. He had stayed at work late because he felt nervous to go home, all due to Éomer’s moving back to Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton. He and Éomer had worked things out after their big fight at Rohan Ranch. The exes had a remote-yet-steady friendship now, but it had been long-distance, and now the tall muscular blond with the interesting mustache was here in the flesh. And in this very moment, well….suffice it to say that entertaining a large group of extended family and coworkers was not what Gimli had expected (or wanted) when he came home. Gimli found himself annoyed at the unexpected visitors, both for the imposition they would be putting on his roommate Éowyn, and because …. of Éomer. He wanted to see Éomer. And then he felt anticipation that he tried to put out of his mind. _Don’t need a repeat of that_ , he told himself. _We aren’t compatible. The few who knew about us said they couldn’t even see it_.

Then why had everything with Éomer been so mind-blowing, better than anything he ever had with Galadriel? He’d been with other men, not many, but enough, so gender wasn’t the explanation.

Gimli sighed, more confused than he thought he would be. “I don’t know why they’re here, but do you want to say hello?”

Thorin didn’t really want to, but he thought it would be bad form if he didn’t, so he reluctantly agreed. They walked into Gimli’s house, Thorin asking him if the house next door was always so noisy. Gimli told him no, he hadn’t heard a party there before, but certainly Mr. Baggins was entitled to some fun. He was a little saddened that he hadn’t been invited, but this emotion cleared when he thought about what he really wanted to do, which was see Éomer.

Expecting to see many familiar faces inside the house, both Gimli and Thorin were puzzled when they found it empty. “Hmm,” Gimli said, “Maybe they are out in the backyard? It’s nice out. Although I hope they didn’t start a bonfire or something, Éowyn doesn’t like that. But maybe she’s back there with them.”

Gimli went to the backyard to check for the people they had expected to see inside the house, and at that moment a knock was heard on the front door. Thorin called for Gimli, but he didn’t answer. And called again, but still no reply. So when a doorbell’s buzzing accompanied another knock, Thorin decided he needed to see who it was. Perhaps Gimli’s roommate wasn’t in the backyard, and she had forgotten her house keys.

And then Thorin frowned, for on the doorstep was a middle-aged man carrying a pillow and blanket. Thorin raised an eyebrow and scowled a bit, wondering if something untoward was going on with his Environmental Officer; this man seemed almost old enough to be Gimli’s father. Thorin didn’t say anything, however, man of few words he was, and let his facial expression speak for itself.

The man with the light brown wavy hair looked nervous, blushing even, and Thorin’s disdain grew. “Um, excuse me. Are Éowyn or Gimli at home?

Thorin spoke gruffly. “What is your business here?”

Part of Bilbo wished he could slink back home; the combination of attraction and lack of welcome was making him feel extremely stressed out. Thankfully the reprieve came in the next moment, when Gimli appeared beside Thorin. “Mr. Baggins! Good to see you! I was just talking to Frodo over the fence in the backyard, he told me you’d like to spend the night here. Absolutely you can.” He turned to Thorin. “Thorin, this is my next door neighbor Bilbo Baggins. He is a good friend of mine, and apparently has been host to a spur-of-the-moment party for our own friends, family and coworkers. Mr. Baggins, this is Thorin Oakenshield, CEO of LM2.”

There were some failed awkward attempts at polite conversation, for Bilbo was nervous and stammering, not quite knowing what to say, and Thorin was gruff, not really wanting to say anything. After a few moments of discomfort, Gimli asked Thorin if he wanted to stop over at the party next door.

The response was a firm no. “It’s been a long day, Gimli, I think I would prefer to just go home.”

Bilbo felt a combination of relief and disappointment wash over him when Gimli and Thorin left, and he went to settle himself on the pull-out couch in their home office, knowing that Éomer would be using the guest room. Gimli had tried to get Bilbo to switch to said guest room, knowing Éomer would insist if he had been here, but Bilbo would have nothing of it, not wanting to impose.

Then Gimli went over to the party, and Thorin would have gone home if he hadn’t been intercepted by Gandalf when he was getting into his car. “Thorin Oakenshield! What a nice coincidence! Did you have a chance to review the contract?”

Thorin turned and glared at the gray-haired man. Why did he appear and disappear at the most inopportune moments? Thorin had been having lunch at The Prancing Pony earlier today, reflecting on the new restaurant’s strange menu of Second Breakfasts & Suppers & Dinners & More, scowling about the large portion sizes and the even-larger smiles on the faces of the owners, when Gandalf had invited himself to sit down. The gray-clad man started eating Thorin’s leftovers without asking, and told him about the proposal and its accompanying contract, a weathered map in his hand that he would point at for emphasis. Thorin still didn’t understand how Gandalf had run into him there, or why he was running into him again now, _here_ of all places.

Thorin spoke in his typically-gruff way. ““No, I haven’t looked at it yet. I gave the contract to Glóin, and he was going to review it with a few others, including his son Gimli.”

“Oh yes, yes! That is good, very good indeed. Gimli, I know him well _._ He’s close friends with one of my congregation, Legolas Greenleaf.”

Thorin frowned. The CEO’s dislike of Legolas’ father, Thranduil, was not exactly a secret. Thorin had forgotten about Gimli’s friendship with the tall blond astronomy professor, and being reminded about it didn’t help his mood. And this led Thorin to grow a bit concerned. Perhaps Gimli wouldn’t be able to examine the contract in a neutral manner; if he was friends with Legolas, he might not see Gandalf’s proposal clearly. Because he was pretty sure the gray-haired man wasn’t as innocent as he pretended to be. He liked him enough, of course, seemed to be a good guy, but that didn’t mean he was 100% forthright. Or if he was, then he was just too flighty to catch possible problems with this idea he had brought to Thorin’s attention.

So Thorin reluctantly changed his mind and decided to stay. “I will review your contract now.”

“It isn’t my contract, Thorin, I simply brought it to you. I thought that was clear.”

Thorin and Gandalf went inside Bilbo’s house to find Glóin and said contract.

Suffice it to say, Thorin was not very impressed with the scene inside. Was Gimli’s next door neighbor completely mad, throwing a party like this? And how had everyone ended up here again? The scene was almost as bad as the last corporate Chanukah party, when Kili and Fili got too drunk and accidentally set fire to the vault in the LM2 headquarters on Erebor Drive.

Speaking of intoxication, Glóin was extremely drunk and not of much use in helping them find the contract. _Wait, those two short men dancing arm-in-arm on the kitchen table looked like the owners of the Prancing Pony._ No one seemed to know anything about a contract, aside from Gimli knowing that his father had wanted him to review one by tomorrow morning and was going to drop it off. Glóin hadn’t left Bilbo’s house yet, so he hadn’t actually contacted Gimli to tell him that Bilbo had the contract, but Gimli guessed it was the case; his Adad had left important items with Bilbo before.

Before Gimli went back home to get it, he asked what it was about. Gandalf had to describe it to the younger man, for Thorin wasn’t sure he understood it yet, and he definitely didn’t like it. Gandalf was suggesting something that was the new HR rage, and Thorin detested trends and ridiculous team-building events. But this, a scavenger hunt documented by TLKN-network? Not even worth scoffing at.

“Its simple, really.” Gandalf replied. “You will have an opponent, AZOG. And if you win, LM2 gets Arkenstone Hills back.”

Gimli agreed with Thorin, it made no sense. It made less sense than his past relationship with Éomer. But the idea of getting Arkenstone Hills back was appealing; the promising mining site had been lost in a bitter court battle to AZOG after an attempted hostile takeover. It had pained both Thorin’s father and grandfather so much that they each had heart attacks and passed away, and the desire to rectify this was powerful.

But still, it made no sense, and Gimli said so. “Gandalf, AZOG would have nothing to gain. And why are you the one trying to broker this deal?”

“It was Sauron’s idea.” Gandalf referenced AZOG’s CEO. For a moment, the gray-haired man’s eyes glinted, and his characteristic flightiness disappeared. “I do not trust him, as I told you before Thorin, but he came to Saruman seeking penance for his ill deeds, and my Order voted to present this idea to you. I volunteered, for I fear I am the only one who sees past his charismatic words.”

Gimli sighed. “I will go get the contract, Gandalf. While my father will be passed out soon, he did want me to review it before tomorrow morning. And while I think the idea makes no sense, the prize might be worth it for Thorin and LM2.”

Gimli went over to his house, and luckily Bilbo wasn’t asleep yet. “Mr. Baggins, sorry to disturb you, but could I have that contract my father had given you?”

“Certainly,” and he went to find it. “By the way, Gimli, do you have any aspirin? I have a terrible headache.”

“Sorry, I don’t, but my father always carries some with him, in his wallet. I will go grab you some.”

“Oh, I’ll just run over with you, Gimli. It will be easier.” And if he was honest, he did wonder if Thorin was still over there. He had a mixed feeling of wanting to see him yet dreading it. The former Took, and the latter Baggins. The Took-side won.

 

 

Unfortunately Glóin seemed to have lost the wallet that might have contained aspirin. While Bilbo was waiting for Frodo to try to find some, his nephew thinking there just had to be some _somewhere_ , Bilbo’s Took-side couldn’t help overhear the conversation between Gandalf, Thorin and Gimli, as they reviewed the contract. Bilbo thought the whole thing sounded like a terrible idea. A corporate competition against AZOG?   Their key officers rode stealthy black or white motorcycles that spouted horrid fumes, and their manners were worse than those who play naked in the public fountains of the Rivendell Grand Hotel and throw its continental breakfast against the dining room’s walls. And ethics? They had no ethics.

Speaking of naked, was that somebody splashing naked in the rock garden waterfall in his backyard? Bilbo’s eyes burned and he tried to wipe the image from his mind, worrying Indecent Exposure would be added to the ticket he feared from the police. His headache got worse, and he regretted coming back to his house. He was almost going to give up on Frodo finding him some aspirin, and go back to bed, when the arguing started. And his sense of déjà vu was extreme. Did Gimli have a problem with anger management? At least they weren’t shouting. No, he decided, Gimli was just being assertive. Bilbo supposed he could stand to do that more himself.

“Mr. Oakenshield, I can very well be neutral in thinking about this contract, my friendship with Legolas Greenleaf is irrelevant!”

“I am not saying I do not want your input, Gimli! But this Legolas fellow, you must realize you should not trust him!”

“I will not have you talk of my friend that way! He is the best person I know!”

“Gimli, look at his father. You should think! Nothing good can come of it!”

“I said, I will not have you speak of him that way!”

_Wait, where had Gandalf gone?_

Assertive as Gimli might be, Bilbo started to worry, for he didn’t want his next door neighbor to develop negative standing with his CEO. It just didn’t do to fight with the person who runs the company you work for, regardless of how right a person is, so Bilbo stepped in.

He cleared his throat, but they didn’t notice that.

He lifted a finger and cleared his throat again, as if to say something, but he couldn’t think of what to say.

Then he coughed.

No reaction.

And finally he spoke, in a soft voice. “Excuse me.”

He cleared his throat again. “Excuse me.”

Oh, screw good manners, he had had enough of everything!

“EXCUSE ME!!!”

Everyone in the house looked at him. Everyone who wasn’t passed out. He blushed. Well, at least he got their attention.

And once he started, he just couldn’t stop. “What on Arda is wrong with all of you?! You invite yourself into someone’s house, eat all of his food, guarantee that the police are going to show up, pass out on the floor, what, are you all 13 year olds in adult bodies?! Doesn’t anyone have to work tomorrow?!”

The music and drinking and whatever else stopped. Gandalf had magically reappeared, but he didn’t quite understand Bilbo’s frustration. The other uninvited guests were too far gone to understand it either. But Kili and Fili came over and gave him a big hug, and then Merry and Pippin did too, not wanting to be left out. Ori started shouting, “More, please, again!”

“Here, here!”

Did someone just _whistle_ at him? As in a cat-call?

“ENOUGH!” Thorin’s voice rumbled across the room. “Mr. Baggins is right, you party like you are college students minus the manners. Behave yourselves!” And at first they did. Kind of. Not really. But it was a nice try.

At first Bilbo was taken aback by Thorin’s words, and then he realized his heart was taken. He sighed, the type of sigh that those most-in-love have, with eyes to match. Gimli saw this and he worried something was wrong, for he had never seen Bilbo with such an expression. “Mr. Baggins, are you all right?”

This shook Bilbo out of the clouds, at least a little bit, and then he grew bold. His Took-side was raging. “Why yes, Gimli, yes I am. In fact, I am so alright that I volunteer to help you with your competition against AZOG. I am rather good at riddles, and I think I could come up with some good ones for the opposing team to struggle over.” For he knew this was how these trendy corporate events worked, at least that’s how it worked when Éowyn ran one against Mearas Manor.

Frodo walked up, aspirin finally in hand. “Uncle Bilbo, I don’t know if that’s a good idea.” He hadn’t heard everything, but he had heard enough to form a judgment.

“Indeed, Bilbo, I am not sure that’s a good idea.” Thorin had joined them as well, but this time he had a sparkle in his eye.

Bilbo took the aspirin from Frodo and downed it. With a shot of tequila. Yes, Thorin thought, there was a bit more to this man than met the eye. He was intrigued.

Bilbo would have nothing of the naysaying. He was certainly interested in helping, and Gimli and Thorin grew bemused. Frodo, concerned for his Uncle, volunteered to help also. “I will help, but I do not know how to play.” Gimli and Thorin decided _why not_ , might be good to throw in some fresh ideas, as long as they could get AZOG to agree.

Putting the party back in Frodo’s hands, Gimli, Thorin and Bilbo walked back to the house next door.  Gimli invited them both in for a decaf, and he was happy, yes he was happy to see that Éowyn and Éomer were finally there, chatting quietly in the living room.

His Tookishness subsiding, Bilbo wasn’t sure what he had just gotten himself into. Éowyn, however, thought it was a good idea for him to try something new, meet some new people, put his word-skills to a different use. Éomer also thought he should give it a go, and offered to help him out. He would have some extra time on his hands after all, what with being new to town and the Ranch running smoothly. Bilbo liked that idea. Seeing her brother offer to help, Éowyn volunteered too, as she didn’t want to be left out. Besides, she had really enjoyed the event she had staged against Mearas Manor.

Then the conversation turned to other, more mundane things.

Thorin wasn’t sure why, but he was growing to like these people, especially this Baggins fellow.

“Will you be at Fili and Kili’s party on Saturday?” Thorin talked quietly, so only Bilbo could hear.

“Um, yes, I was planning to go.”

“Care to go with me?”

Bilbo stammered. “Yes, yes, I would like that.” Thorin smiled and got ready to leave, finding the stammering a bit endearing now. He shook his new acquaintances’ hands and lingered longest when his hand made contact with Bilbo’s.

After Thorin left, Bilbo _finally_ went to bed, Éomer insisting the middle-aged man use the guest bedroom. Éowyn decided to go to bed also, having had a long day taking her uncle Theoden to medical appointments and training her horse Windfola.

Gimli and Éomer were left alone in the living room.

The day before, Gimli had finally told Legolas the entire truth about Éomer, and Legolas didn’t think it was a good idea, letting an ex stay at his house, even if the ex was his roommate’s brother. Legolas, in fact, seemed really annoyed at the idea, and Gimli didn’t understand why, it was like he was jealous. Gimli disagreed with him, saying his past with Éomer had been a mistake, that both he and Éomer knew this. He wasn’t attracted to Éomer anymore. And he wasn’t going to drop his friendship with Legolas, he would never do that again.

But now he wasn’t so sure about the Éomer part.

Éomer and Gimli stayed up all night watching movies, neither one wanting to go to sleep, talking and laughing throughout, something that had always surprised Gimli about the seemingly staid military man.

Yes, Gimli wasn’t so sure at all.

 

 

The rest of the week, Gimli spent most of his non-work hours with Legolas, helping him with his rock garden project. Thorin had banned him from the office after noon, telling him he had made an executive decision about his workload. So it gave Gimli more time to work on Legolas’ rock garden, which he enjoyed, both because he liked to be useful and he enjoyed doing projects with his friend. It helped Gimli to put thoughts of Éomer out of his mind, and he certainly did not want his apparently-jealous friend’s fear of friendship loss to be realized. His tall blond friend was his most preferred company of all.

The day after the unexpected party at Bilbo’s house, Legolas laughed at Gimli’s recounting of the party, was _shocked_ that Gimli’s CEO was escorting Mr. Baggins to Kili  & Fili’s party, and glared about the movie marathon Gimli had with Éomer.

“And what happened after that? Straight back into sex with him? The mind-blowing sex that you never told me about until the day before yesterday? How Galadriel was an escape from Sergeant Don’t Ask Don’t Tell?””

“Ummm, nothing happened last night Legolas. I told you nothing will come of it. Trust me, I know it’s not a good idea.”

“Hasn’t stopped you before.” And Legolas threw down the trowel he was using and went to grab his water.

“What are you talking about? I haven’t been with that many people.”

“Whatever, Gimli.”

There was silence for a few moments, Legolas glaring into the distance, drinking his water, and Gimli not sure what to do.

“Legolas, I told you, nothing will come between our friendship. And Éomer, trust me, it’s not a good idea. You’ll see it when you meet him, you won’t understand how we could have been together. That says it all, I think. Besides, I told you, he’s a good guy. He even volunteered to help Mr. Baggins with this stupid LM2-AZOG scavenger hunt.”

Legolas’ head swiveled towards Gimli. So Éomer volunteered to help out with this competition? Probably not to assist Mr. Baggins, that’s for sure. “You’re taking people outside of LM2? Why didn’t you ask me?”

Gimli looked surprised. “I didn’t think you’d want to be involved in something as stupid as this. Trust me Legolas, scavenger hunt all over town? Against AZOG? Filmed by TLKN-networks? It’s all so ridiculous!”

“What are you talking about? Éowyn’s was fun, the one against Mearas Manor. Count me in too. Classes are done next week, I’ll have a lot of free time on my hands until September.”

Gimli sort of liked the idea; he had only agreed to it himself because there was a chance they could win Arkenstone Hills back, and he knew how much Arkenstone meant to Thorin. And if Legolas came along, at least they could figure out some way to make this thing interesting. Maybe have friendly competitions of their own along the way. “Ok, I like that idea, but I can’t promise. I still don’t know if we can take people who aren’t employed with us, but I’ll make sure that if we can, you’ll be by my side. We’re meeting about it again sometime next week.”

Gimli became a bit more solemn. “So Legolas, you’ll be friendly to Éomer at the party this weekend right? Try to get to know him before you try to take him down?” He laughed a bit, for he couldn’t see Legolas actually fighting him, but Gimli also knew Legolas could cause a scene. He had a temper that threatened to erupt when he felt threatened, or rather, when he thought Gimli was being threatened. Very protective of his friends, this one.

Legolas smirked, but he didn’t answer. His mind was still embroiled with thoughts about Éomer, and his veins still flowed with jealousy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angmar = The Witch-King of Angmar aka leader of the Nazgûl  
> Mearas = The wild horses of Middle-Earth (Shadowfax is their leader)  
> Adad = Father  
> LM2 = Lonely Mountain Mining, Thorin's company
> 
> I didn't make up the scavenger hunt; it is actually pretty common for businesses in the town I live in :-)


	4. Kili and Fili Throw a Party

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The night of Kili and Fili’s party arrives. A pirate-and-animal themed mini golf course is a most confusing theme suggestive of chaos in the planning, and chaos might ensue if one decides to host a party there. This time, no one can blame Gandalf—it’s magnetic attraction that makes Tauriel and Kili flirt, clumsiness that makes Bombur fall into the water feature on the Pirate’s Cove in Mirkwood hole, a hopeless crush that makes Éowyn ask Aragorn out on a date, drunkenness that makes Gimli kiss Éomer, and jealousy that leads Legolas to be...very jealous.

Soon enough it was Saturday evening, and guests began arriving at Kili and Fili’s party. Thorin and Bilbo pulled into the parking lot of Longbeard’s Mini Golf in Thorin’s car. It was Kili and Fili’s shining moment, the business finally come to fruition, a most appreciated outcome given that the idea had seemed to incubate since the beginning of time. Thorin told Bilbo that their original plan was to have seven locations, Longbeard's, Broadbeam's, Firebeard's, Ironfist's, Stiffbeard's, Blacklock's and Stonefoot's, each different in theme, but it all felt too complicated, so they took some ideas from the other courses and focused on the location here; Longbeard’s Mini Golf was born.

Thorin told Bilbo that the brothers’ last big party had been a joint affair co-hosted by Bofur at the Rivendell Grand Hotel, and the owner, Elrond Peredhel, had been polite-yet-mortified when things got out of hand. Drunken choruses of lyrics from 1980’s hair metal overwhelmed the harpist’s mellow Enya favorites, drunken guests hit on the proper attendees of a wedding reception next door; a game of strip poker on the front grounds in plain view. The last item led Lindir, Elrond’s musical director, to take a stress leave for two weeks.

Thorin told Bilbo that the Rivendell Grand now seemed to be chronically booked whenever Kili and Fili tried to schedule another party there. Bilbo understood Elrond’s polite deferral, given the shenanigans at his own party earlier in the week, although he found the whole thing quite comical now. Not comical enough to repeat it, however; Bilbo told Thorin that even if he lived to be 111 he couldn’t imagine having a shindig again, not even to celebrate such a momentous birthday. Thorin smiled with warmth in his eyes, telling him that he might change his mind one day, and Bilbo shivered a bit.

Bilbo had decided to bring all of the leftover liquor to this party, as he certainly didn’t need it at home, the liquor just waiting for the next round of unexpected guests to find and make ill use of it. He and Thorin were walking across the parking lot towards Longbeard’s entrance, Bilbo being impressed with how much liquor Thorin could carry, when they saw it: Gandalf’s white car, SHDWFX on the license plate. They both raised eyebrows to each other and thought about going out to dinner and a movie instead, tracing respective ills back to the well-intended gray-haired priest, but agreed they had to at least make an appearance.

Others were already mingling, some of whom Bilbo thought he recognized from his unexpected party. Merry and Pippin tended bar, the brothers who owned Longbeard's asking the cousins who owned the Prancing Pony to mix their namesake signature cocktails, the ones that had been the hit of Bilbo’s unexpected gathering. Dwalin and Balin sat at one of the tables in the food area, talking quietly, and motioned Thorin over.

“Thorin, good to see you. Mr. Baggins, good to see you as well. We would like to apologize for our behavior at your home earlier this week. I would like to place the blame on the signature beverages served by the owners of the Prancing Pony, but the responsibility is ours.” Balin spoke most politely.

Bilbo was grateful for the apology, and they made small talk.

“This course, it seems most…interesting. It seems to be a combination pirates-and-zoo theme?” Bilbo looked at the course in the distance, the elephants, giant spiders, bears, and other beasts creating quite a juxtaposition with the pirate ships and other sea-faring & fortune-hunting features.

Balin agreed. “Yes, almost like a treasure hunt amongst by beasts of the world, with the locations being key places in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton. Well, at least after this I will be able to say I have spent an evening with bears and spiders and … are those trolls?”

Dwalin was skeptical. “I don’t think they thought it out as much as one might give them credit for. Seems spur-of-the-moment to me, set-it-up and hope it turns out for the best, rather than thoughtful planning. Look, for example, at that hole over there -- what on earth do dragons have to do with a zoo? Or pirates? Or Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton?”

Soon enough people began breaking into groups of two and four; there was mini golf to play after all. “Shall we?” asked Thorin of Bilbo.

“Well yes, I suppose we shall. Though I will warn you, I have never played before.”

“Indeed? No fear, I shall explain the rules and give you a handicap.”

They went to pick out clubs, Thorin’s dark blue, Bilbo’s burgundy, each their favorite colors. They had picked out scorecards and small pencils when Thorin noticed his club was bent, and he went to exchange it. Nori, standing nearby, whispered to Bilbo conspiratorially. “No worry, Mr. Baggins, from what I have heard, Thorin’s shaft is not bent, and he does not miss holes. In fact, I have heard that his ball is drawn to the hole like a magnet, and he is most persistent, he does not abandon a game but stays until his partner is satisfied with the outcome, regardless of said partner’s skill.” Bilbo blushed. Had this one gotten into the liquor already?! Bilbo patted his pocket, trying to find his aspirin. And then he had a question, incredulous, his own brazenness influenced by that of the other.

“What do you mean, regardless of skill? Are you referring to me?”

But before Nori could answer, Dori came over and scolded him, and Thorin led Bilbo away, deciding to pair up with Balin and Dwalin, as they were the least rambunctious of the people there…well, as long as they weren’t drinking. Which he didn’t think they were. Hopefully.

They had just finished Hole #1, _Starboard to the Shire: Ahoy There, Ponies & Horses!_ when the player ahead tripped and fell into the water feature of Hole #2, _Curse of the Pirate’s Cove & River at Mirkwood: Revenge of the Elk_. Bilbo thought he recognized the water-logged player who floated to the surface most easily, the extra padding on his body benefiting him as such, and Thorin told him indeed it was Bombur from his party earlier in the week. Pulling him out was a challenge, as he was heavy and initially seemed to have a concussion, not remembering where he was or who they were. Fili called the paramedics, and gameplay was delayed for a time.  

Éomer, however, had just arrived with Éowyn and Gimli, and offered his services, as he had trained as an EMT prior to joining the military, and had kept up his first aid expertise.

“Well, that could have been worse! Keep your head up, Bombur! Watch out for the water hazards, dear guests, the swimming is cold tonite!” Bofur grinned as he spoke into his mic, and went back to singing R.E.M. songs, as he was the only one bold enough to use the Karaoke machine Kili & Fili had provided, though Ori shyly eyed it from time to time.

Legolas and Tauriel arrived sometime after, when the paramedics were leaving, Legolas leading Tauriel over to Gimli to see what the commotion was about.

“Legolas! Tauriel! You made it! You missed the excitement, apparently this course is more hazardous than it seems. Bombur fell into the water feature on that hole over there, the pirate’s cove with the deer, moose and elk.”

Legolas raised an eyebrow, not quite understanding how that might happen on a mini golf course, and more broadly speaking not understanding how pirates and elk mixed. But Tauriel giggled, as she found it most amusing.   The giggling caught Kili’s attention, and he walked over for introductions. “Gimli! Legolas! Who is your most beautiful friend?”

Legolas frowned a bit, and Tauriel smiled sweetly, answering the question for the others. “Careful, kind sir, for I have a third degree black belt and show no mercy against flirting.”

“Well then,” Kili responded, “Perhaps I will not flirt, but rather admire you from afar, as the fair maiden you are. And maiden I must call you, if you will not tell me your name.”

Legolas frowned a bit more, and Gimli interrupted. “Kili, this is Legolas’ girlfriend, Tauriel.”

“Very nice to meet you, Tauriel. I've heard a bit about you from Gimli and Legolas. May I show you around the course? If you don’t mind, of course, Legolas; I would love to ask her about her business, get some small business advice, as I know she runs a Tae Kwon Do studio.”

“Why certainly, it would be my pleasure.” Tauriel responded without waiting for Legolas’ response.

While they sauntered the course, Tauriel’s hand hooked on Kili’s arm, chatting and laughing, Gimli whispered to Legolas, “See what I mean? Maybe it's not the wrong time or place, maybe it’s the _person._ ”

“Gimli, you’re wrong, she’s simply being polite. Besides, you know she is extraverted, exuberant, excitable...”

“Detached, indifferent, uninvolved…and Kili wants advice from someone whose business is brand new and might go under? Not quite.” Gimli snorted. But Legolas’ glare made him shut up.

Éomer and Éowyn walked over, and any thoughts of Tauriel flew from Legolas’ mind. His glare may have grown worse, and Gimli cleared his throat, trying to send him a message to stop.

Éowyn made introductions. “Legolas, this is my brother, Éomer. Éomer, this is Legolas, Gimli’s best friend. He’s an astronomy professor at the University.”

“Nice to meet you, Legolas. I’ve heard a lot about you.” Éomer extended his hand. Legolas wasn’t going to take it, but Gimli stepping on his foot made him do so reluctantly.

Éowyn tried to bridge the awkwardness with comments about the mini golf course.

Éomer took her lead, trying to make small talk with Legolas. “Speaking of pirates, you look a lot like that actor in the Johnny Depp Pirate movies."

“Yes, I get that all the time, and no, I don’t know him, and no, I can’t act and I don’t plan to try, and no, I don’t date models, and no, I can’t introduce you to Keira Knightley…But you wouldn’t be interested in that, would you? I hear you prefer men? Ginger-haired men, perhaps?”

“Legolas!” Gimli hissed.

Éomer’s eyes narrowed, and then he put whatever he was thinking aside and smiled.

“You speak your mind, I will speak mine, and I think we might just grow to like each other. Well, shall we play?”

The four joined the gameplay, and soon enough Gimli and Legolas decided to stage a rematch of a contest they had in college, downing shots for each stroke over par. Soon enough their aim was a bit off; Legolas even ended up rescuing Gimli’s ball from the top of the elephant on Hole #10, _Jolly Roger in the Jungle of Lorien_. By the time they reached Hole #12, _Swashbucklers vs Giant Spiders on the Old Forest Road_ , Legolas was a bit tipsy and Gimli was tipping over.

Éomer told Gimli to slow the drinking down. Gimli told him they should speed things up. And then, before anyone knew what had happened, Éomer and Gimli were kissing, and Legolas had had enough.

“Tauriel! Let’s go!”

She heard Legolas clearly, as she was one hole back on the course, golfing with Kili, and she told him she didn’t want to leave.

Gimli’s hand was up Éomer’s shirt. Éomer’s hand was on Gimli’s back, traveling down. Legolas was glaring at them like he wanted to throttle Éomer. Tauriel saw this, _everyone_ saw it, and decided it was time for him to go home, that she would call him a cab. She told Legolas she still wanted to talk small business with Kili and wouldn’t have time to meet with the dark-haired man for a few weeks, so it was now or never.

Kili seemed very happy that she was going to stay, but Legolas didn’t care about Kili’s reaction, because he still looked like he wanted Éomer to be blasted by cannonballs and walk the plank, preferably at the same time.

Bilbo and Thorin had just finished the course, and they heard the commotion. Bilbo had no desire to see his friends start a fight, which it looked like Legolas was about to do, so he tried to intervene before one started, but just like at the party earlier in the week, no one seemed to really listen. Thorin watched the whole scene in bemusement, for while he didn’t really care for Legolas, he didn’t understand this show of jealousy. Although he couldn’t explain why, he just couldn’t _see_ it between Gimli and Éomer, even if they were kissing right now in front of everyone. He _could_ explain, however, his own attraction to Bilbo; Thorin liked how the gentle, modest man was so earnest trying to calm Legolas down. He had to admit to himself yet again, Bilbo was a handsome guy, and he liked his down-to-earth nature, different from the sharks he swam with everyday.

Then Aragorn showed up, having just flown back into town, and Legolas _would_ listen to him, potential fight preempted successfully. For while Legolas had not tried to take down Éomer yet, those who knew him were well aware that he was about to, the way he was mindlessly pretending to aim golf balls leaving his intent clear. The scruffily-handsome man was able to break up the excessive show of affection between Gimli and Éomer as well.

Éowyn was most grateful. “Aragorn, thank you. They…they were getting out of control."

“My pleasure, Éowyn. How are you? I haven’t seen you for awhile.” He smiled at her, and she was enchanted, as enchanted as she always was when she saw him.

“I’ve been well. My brother just got back into town, so there hasn’t been much chaos yet. But apparently I’m in for some!”

“Well, I guess I will just have to monitor them, make sure they stay in line. For I do not want them to cause you distress. I shall make that sacrifice.” He smiled again, and she was as disarmed as ever.

“Aragorn, would you care to golf with me? I’d like to finish the game, and my partners here….well, as you can see, they make it a challenge to stay on course.”

“Absolutely. And you can catch me up on other news, as it seems I have missed a lot during my business travels.”

Legolas watched them start to play, and would have been concerned, as he knew Aragorn was on the rebound, and rebounds were not good; but his mind was just not focused on anything but Gimli and Éomer. He walked over to Tauriel.

“Tauriel, are you ready to leave yet?”

“Legolas, I think I’ll have Kili drive me home, he offered, and I’d like to stay here a bit longer, we have more to discuss, he has some good ideas for the studio.” She looked over at the dark-haired man, who was getting his drink refilled by Merry at the bar. Then she looked uncomfortable, as if she didn’t quite know how to say the next part. “Legolas, I think we should take a break.”

He nodded. “I think so too.” And he couldn’t take his eyes off Gimli. She noticed, but didn’t say anything about that.

“Legolas, I don’t think you should drive yourself home, you seem a bit tipsy, I’ll get someone to drive you.”

“No worries, Tauriel, I can find someone on my own. Do you have anything you want to pick up at my place?” He didn’t think so, she came over so rarely, but he thought he would check just in case.

“No, but if you find anything, let me know.”

She gave him a hug, and he was surprised how little he cared that they were breaking up. In fact, he might have felt _relieved_. She was a good person, but not good for _him_. Maybe, maybe his Adar and Gimli had been right.

 _Gimli,_ he said in his mind. And he sighed. That…that seemed most impossible indeed.

Legolas walked over to Gandalf, who was sitting quietly with his pipe and making circles with the smoke. “Gandalf, would you be able to give me a ride home?”

The gray-haired man looked up and smiled kindly. “Indeed, Legolas, of course.” His eyes looked thoughtful. “Some things, Legolas, are not for us to decide. Perhaps all we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us. And I think you know what that decision would be. What do you need in order to find your courage?”

Legolas sat down beside him. “I don’t know, Gandalf. I don’t know. But you wouldn’t disapprove? He’s a guy, and he’s Jewish.”

“Legolas, I do not know how easy or difficult the religious differences will be, but others have done so, and if something comes of you and he, we can meet with his rabbi. For the other, you well know that we find bigotry and prejudice in all walks of life. And some feign moral value under the guise of religion. It is not for me to judge that, although my words may make it seem so. It matters not, for I care not _who_ you love so long as they are good to you and good at heart….I care that you _do_ love and that you try to do something about it. For sitting around and moping will waste the next eight years of your life. Or more. ”

Legolas sighed. “He doesn’t care for me in that way, Gandalf. Didn’t you see what happened?”

Gandalf kept blowing smoke rings. “I did. And I don’t know what to make of that. I just don’t _see it_ myself. But I can see _you_ with him.”

He stood. “Let’s go. My white chariot awaits! And I will take you out to a late dinner, and not McDonald’s this time, for tonight calls for something a bit more…tasty than that. Not that there is anything wrong with fast food. Maybe. Or maybe not. Well, let’s go.”

Aragorn and Éowyn watched Legolas leave with Gandalf, wondering how the blond-haired man was doing.

“Well, I'll find out tomorrow, since I'm meeting him for breakfast in Edoras, and I hope he still plans to go riding, I told Arod he was coming.”

Aragorn thought it most endearing that she spoke to the horses.

“Aragorn, speaking of the ranch, would you care to go riding with me tomorrow? It’s been awhile since you’ve seen Brego. And I know he gets on well with Windfola.”’

“Sure, I would like that. So, what do you tell Brego about me? That I am an ill-dressed man who doesn’t deserve the time of day from you?”

She laughed. “No, not at all.”

He grew serious for a moment. “Éowyn, I like you. But I’m sure you know that I am on a break from my relationship with Arwen. I don’t want to mislead you. It might not be the best idea if we spend time together like that. It feels too much like going on a date.”

She shrugged. “What does it matter, friends spending time together? My friends all seem to be guys anyway, and maybe I'm a bit bored of them."

“Do you need a ride home? Seems Gimli and Éomer have left also.”

“Sure, that would be great.”

Aragorn grew serious. “Éowyn, I am attracted to you. I can’t lie about that. But I am not going to take this any further, it will be best if we are just friends.”

She nodded. And had they both stuck by that statement in the weeks to come, it probably _would_ have been for the best.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Longbeards, Broadbeams, Firebeards, Ironfists, Stiffbeards, Blacklocks and Stonefoots are the seven different tribes (or houses) of dwarves. Longbeards are the dwarves of Durin’s line.
> 
> Longbeards…the word just reminds me of pirates :-) I remembered the Orlando Bloom-Pirates of the Caribbean connection much later.
> 
> Bofur's R.E.M. reference is based on an interview I read--he wrote the tune for the song he sings in the movie and said the title (The Man In the Moon) reminded him of R.E.M.-style songs (I think the scene is in the extended edition, as is the scene of the dwarves in the Rivendell fountain?)
> 
> It was tempting to put Legolas’ “You would die before your stroke fell” in this chapter, given golfing = golf strokes, etc. But I am saving it for later :-)


	5. In Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton’s Vineyard Valley

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after Kili and Fili’s party, Thranduil’s winery, the Greenwood Collection, prepares to host his month-long Feast of Starlight wine tasting event. Thranduil’s hired Sam to help with the gardens at his winery. Dol Goldur Estates has been taken over by new ownership, one Nec R. O. Mancer, and the fiend doesn’t seem to care that his vineyard’s blight is spreading across Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton's Vineyard Valley. The Mouth of Sauron is a horrific PR person (how did he get the job exactly?). Speaking of “it,” the _it_ couple of the year, Beren  & Lúthien, begin to prepare for their TLKN-network scavenger-hunt-documentary hosting duties. Thorin doesn’t understand why everyone is so mesmerized by Lúthien, his affection for Bilbo clear, but she definitely makes Legolas jealous…again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Brief mention of the death of Thranduil's father along with others; no details, just mentioned.

Sunday morning, the morning after Kili and Fili’s party, came soon enough. Perhaps too soon, for Éowyn was reluctant to rise (and does anyone really want to exit her bedroom if her roommate and her brother could be sharing a room down the hall, and neither tended to shut bedroom doors)? She needn’t have worried, however, as Gimli had passed out as soon as Éomer brought him into the house, and they were sleeping in their respective rooms.

Tauriel and Kili met at sunrise at the Tae Kwon Do studio, comparing Strategic Plans, while each strategically planned their next move. Bombur was released from the hospital with instructions to watch for confusion and drowsiness (and to try to lose some weight, but he was used to hearing this, and just ignored it). Balin and Dwalin met over coffee, needing to review the contract for the scavenger hunt. Balin was known for making sure every _i_ was dotted and _t_ was crossed. And Dwalin…..well, he just wanted to make sure nothing passed by Balin’s inspection with this proposed scavenger hunt. Glóin joined them and was taken aback when he heard about his son’s behavior.

Bofur, Nori, Ori, Fili, Merry and Pippin were _still_ at Longbeard’s mini golf, for they certainly knew how to carry a party into the wee hours (and the day after), and besides, watching Ori finally get up the nerve to karaoke was certainly worth the lost sleep. At least the golf course was in the industrial section of town, so no one complained about the noise. Merry and Pippin booked their first musical act for the Prancing Pony, B.O.F.U.R. And they found some cabbages and carrots in the farmer’s field nearby to eat for a late night snack, as Bombur had eaten half of the food before he fell into the Water Hazard on Hole #2, and everyone else had taken care of the rest before the night was through, making their ravaging of Bilbo’s cupboards look like nothing in comparison. Cabbages and carrots were better than being hungry, especially since the stale vending machine items, made by L.E.M.B.A.S. Freeze-Dried Foods, did not look appetizing whatsoever.

Thorin had dropped Bilbo off at his house, and was invited inside for a nightcap. Then Bilbo remembered he had purged his house of all of its liquor, and he wasn’t sure what to offer instead.

“Would you like some tea? I have some Longbottom leaf, it’s a bit of an acquired taste, but quite nice.”

“Isn’t that a tobacco brand?” Thorin asked in his deep, almost rumbling voice.

“Why yes, but they’ve branched out. I will admit when Merry gave it to me, I was nervous to try it, but it’s quite good.”

Thorin decided to try it himself, why not after all, and they drank their tea and talked for hours at Bilbo’s kitchen table. Eventually the sun began to rise, and they were both surprised at how quickly time had flown by.

Thorin leaned forward, looking at Bilbo intently. “I should get going. I have intruded on your company long enough.”

Bilbo flushed. “Oh, it’s been no intrusion at all, I’ve rather enjoyed it. Unlike your…” and he stopped himself, for it sounded most impolite to make a rude comment about Thorin’s family, friends, and employees, the ones who had invited themselves to his unexpected party.

Thorin chuckled. “I am sure whatever you were going to say about the unexpected party, I would agree.” He leaned farther forward. “Tell me, Bilbo, would you agree with me in turn, would you agree that we are attracted to one another?”

Bilbo wasn’t quite sure what to say, not being used to the company of others who were this forward, for those he had dated in the past tended to beat around the bush most politely. He stammered his answer. “Um, well, why yes, yes I think so…” He was nodding his head in a shy manner that Thorin found charming and sweet.

Thorin leaned even closer. “Tell me, Bilbo, are you seeing anyone? Or are you unattached?”

“Well, no, actually, yes, I mean, I’m not, not right now. Well, I was, but that, that was awhile ago…”

He stopped talking then, this time because Thorin had covered his lips with his own.

After a time, Thorin pulled back from their kiss, resting his forehead against Bilbo’s. “So tell me, would you consider dating me? Granted, this scavenger hunt that you have agreed to assist me with might change your mind, but given that you have seen my family and friends on their worst behavior at this party you had, I have absolutely nothing to hide." 

“I would, I mean yes, I would like that. If you would, of course.”

“Bilbo, you are so refreshing. Your manners, for example, are most delightful. And you are entrancing when you get angry, like you did at your party. “ And then Thorin kissed him again, and they continued for what seemed to be an endless amount of time.

 

 

 

And Legolas? Well, Legolas didn’t sleep after Gandalf dropped him off that night. He didn’t tend to sleep much in general, but after the party he couldn’t sleep at all. The late dinner was delicious, the gray-haired man having taken him to his favorite high-end restaurant, Manwë’s Cuisine of Aman. But jealous eating is not optimal eating, and Legolas ended up with a stomachache to go along with his heartache.

Early Sunday morning Legolas texted Eowyn and Gimli his regrets, saying he wasn’t feeling well, which was true enough, and would not be able to attend their planned breakfast in Edoras. He told them that he hoped to see them soon but unfortunately had a lot of work to do, wanting to make headway on his study of Venus, which he had nicknamed Eärendil after one of his favorite childhood tales **.**

Then he drove the scenic route to Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton’s Vineyard Valley, home to some of the finest wineries in the country. His Adar’s winery was most grand, the winery itself made of stone that was intricately carved, the trees on the grounds well-maintained, the gardens well-manicured, the vineyard impeccable.

Legolas couldn’t help but think that his Adar’s current business focus was a much better idea than his most recent start-up, the Greenleaf Family Jewels. Legolas still groaned at the unfortunate choice of name. His Adar did not understand the idea of playing with words, regardless of whether phrases were new or ancient.  Legolas thought it was a most wise decision that his Adar had made, choosing to invest more of his time in this winery, for while his Adar had a knack for making any business succeed with little assistance, jewels made him a bit too…obsessive. Especially white diamonds, white crystals, and anything else that was colored the same as snow. Thranduil had hired a replacement to take over the jewelry store, and it was renamed after the new manager, Celebrimbor’s & Co. And Thranduil was so impressed with the craftsmanship of Celebrimbor’s best friend, Narvi, that he purchased the empty store next door and funded another start up, Narvi’s Finely Crafted Doors and More.

Legolas and his Adar had a distant relationship through most of his childhood, Thranduil being cold and dismissive, although Legolas always knew his strict manner was his Adar’s way of showing he cared. But when Legolas reached his late teens, he finally talked to his Adar about it, having observed the warmth between Gimli and Glóin for so many years. His Adar was somewhat surprised, not realizing quite the impact he had on his son, and Thranduil went to therapy to deal with the Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder he developed from observing his father killed along with two-thirds of his kin. Legolas’ Naneth, Gwíneth, was equally as cold, although the cause was less clear. When they all went to family therapy, things began to improve.

“Legolas!” Thranduil saw his son approach the winery’s front gardens and terrace from the vineyard’s parking lot, and beckoned him. “Come, sit here with me and try our new dry white, _Eryn Lasgalen_ _Sauvignon Blanc._ ” It smelled of dried leaves and sandalwood, which Legolas found most pleasant. Paired with the small sample of roasted vegetables his Adar served, it was delicious.

“I quite like it, Adar, but isn’t it a bit early for wine tasting?”

Thranduil tilted his head in his bird-like way, sweeping his hair off his shoulders, looking up from his menu planning. “Is it ever too early for wine-tasting, Legolas? Wait a moment, what brings you here? I thought you had plans with friends today? To go riding?”

Legolas sighed. “I did, but I came here instead.” Though his son would deny it, Thranduil swore he saw tears pricking his eyes. “I had the most miserable time last night, and I don’t know what to do.”

Thranduil dropped everything, for therapy had helped him significantly, and where before he would have sent his son to work in the winery with unkind words that he meant to be consoling, he now drew his son into an embrace. “Tell me, ion-nin, tell me what has happened, let’s walk and talk among the fruit trees.”

“I have not the heart to tell you, Adar.”

“Try, ion-nin.” and Legolas did. Thranduil listened carefully, Legolas recounting everything, including the words of his wise priest Gandalf.

“I fear my actions may make our friendship wane, Adar. And that I have humiliated myself.”

“You have not, dearest ion-nin, and you could never do so.” He would have shrugged his shoulders, but Thranduil wasn’t one to shrug, so he simply tilted his head and swept his hair off his shoulders again. “Besides, I’m sure it wasn’t as bad as you thought, not everyone would be paying attention to you, and does it really matter anyway?”

No, Legolas supposed, no it did not.

“Then the four who have most say in this, yourself, myself, your Naneth, and Gandalf, we all agree. And it seems Gandalf agrees with me on something else, that you need to do something about this. I have told you before, my dear son, that Gimli is a good choice for you, and I do not understand your hesitation. Especially since you have ended your relationship with Tauriel. Which I am most happy to see. She is a fine person, but not fine for you.”

Before Legolas could respond, a short man came crashing down out of the tree they were standing under.

Thranduil made sure the man was ok, which he was, and then smiled. “Dear Sam, I have been most pleased hiring you, as you work most diligently and have greatly helped my gardens and trees, but your eavesdropping skills need some work.”

“Eaves? I ain’t been droppin’ no eaves sir, honest.” Sam looked most flustered.

“No, I suppose not, you would not lie. But be more careful, please, I do not want to see you get hurt.” Thranduil turned to Legolas. “This is Samwise Gamgee, my newest hire. Sam, this is my son, Legolas.”

They looked at each other in recognition, for they had met before, earlier in the week at Bilbo’s house. They told Thranduil this, and he commented about what a small world it was. Then the winery’s head chef called, and Thranduil took his leave. “I am going to examine today’s tasting menu. Come and join me in awhile, both of you, as I will be curious of your opinions, we are going to rotate some new pairings for our Feast of Starlight tastings this month.”

He swept away, and Sam and Legolas talked.

“So, Sam, I didn’t realize you were working here. It is a small world!”

“Yes Mr. Legolas. I thought it would be a step up for me. I reckon working in Farmer Maggot’s Vegetable Fields doesn’t sound none too good on my resume, if you know what I mean. What with the name Maggots and all. Don’t get me wrong, the vegetables there are delicious, but running past all those wild dogs he kept in the fields to keep people away, dealing with Farmer Maggot’s temper, not for me, that’s for sure.”

“Yes, I can see that. And please, just call me Legolas. Do you mind if I ask where you’re from? I can’t place your accent.”

But before Sam could answer, they were interrupted. “Hoom! Legolas, I see you have met our new gardener.”   The way Mr. Treebeard cleared his throat, it always made Legolas jump. Mr. Treebeard spoke slowly, most _s-l-o-w-l-y_ , but luckily Legolas was very patient.

The seven foot tall man with the long beard strode slowly over to them, looking curious all the while. “Hoom!” He cleared his throat again with his unique sound, and continued with his drawn-out manner of speaking. “Did you know, Legolas, that we are having a speed-dating event here next week? I am hoping to find myself a wife, and Mr. Quickbeam does as well! Hoom!”

Legolas fought his chuckle, for he could not see Mr. Treebeard speed-dating.

“Well, I must return to my tending of the vines, for there is much to do! Hoom! But these spring blossoms, they certainly are flaring up my allergies, my throat is very sore. Hoom!” And he walked off, striding most slowly again, almost in slow-motion, it seemed.

“He’s a nice fellow, that Mr. Treebeard. So Legolas, if you don’t mind me asking, how did your father come to work here exactly? It seems like he has so many different businesses, at least from what he’s said. I have asked him for some advice already, for one day I hope to open my own gardening center, or maybe a landscaping business.”

“Well, this winery used to be my grandfather Oropher’s, but when he passed away, it wasn’t really tended very well. My father became interested in reviving it after his therapist told him he needed to try something different. He talks quite freely about it, everyone who works here knows that he is getting over his obsession with precious stones; he became a bit addicted to them. But luckily Celebrimbor took over that part of the business. Celebrimbor makes wonderful jewelry, rings are his specialty. My Adar hired him to take over his jewelry store after he bought some rings from him on etsy and ebay. You will find, Sam, that my Adar tends to overthink things and not be able to get them off his mind. But the jewelry store was particularly bad for him." 

“Jewelry? So rings are Mr. Celebrimbor’s specialty? Make no mistake, Legolas, I’m actually looking for a ring. I’d like to propose to my girlfriend Rosie back home, and then have her move out here. Merry and Pippin said they’d hire her to work at the Prancing Pony, so she wouldn’t have to worry about finding a job.”

“Oh? Tell me more about her Sam, I’d love to hear about your Rosie.”

They talked and made their way to the stone-walled winery, and Thranduil swept into the dining room after their arrival. “Come, both of you, I have had the cook prepare a special brunch, a saffron mushroom quiche and truffle frites that we can pair with our new mushroom-infused chardonnay. It smells most delicious, and we shall eat out on the terrace, as it is such a lovely day. I want your feedback about my new chardonnay, for I might include it in Week 2 of our Feast of Starlight event.”

Legolas whispered to Sam, “Don’t worry, it might seem like a bit much, the detailed matching and everything. My father is just really into making sure things match, from the way he dresses to his wine pairings, but it usually does taste delicious.”

“Oh, I don't mind, Legolas, I love mushrooms. Mushrooms and taters, those are my favorites, and your dad has served me some tasty potato dishes already.”

They ate on the terrace, enjoying the view. Thranduil waved his hand gracefully. “So Sam, Legolas, have you seen the blight that festers on the grape vines? On our sparkling wine vines in particular, it’s most frustrating. The new owners of Dol Goldur Estates, they’ve really taken that vineyard downhill. Their wines are murky and their practices sketchy. The owner, one Nec R.O. Mancer, he is most unusual, a shadow that looms in the Valley. I daresay he hasn’t heard of personal hygiene, either.” He shook his head in distaste. “He is single-handedly going to take Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton’s Vineyard Valley down a few notches.”

Thranduil was gesturing towards the grapevines in question when they saw an SUV pull up in the lot. A short ginger-haired man got out of the car. 

“Adar!” Legolas hissed. “Why did you tell him I was here?”

Thranduil shook his head and held up his hands. “I did nothing, I swear to you.”

He looked at Gimli more closely. “Ah, Legolas, he brings Dis. She is going to renew her vows here, and I am certain she would like to discuss her plans further.” He turned to Sam. “Sam, come with me, I should like you to learn more about this aspect of the winery, and you can contribute suggestions about flowers for the event. Gwíneth, my wife, runs the event planning, and she would value your ideas.”

They walked over to greet Dis and Gimli, and Thranduil told Gimli that Legolas was on the terrace, so the broad-shouldered man took leave of Dis and joined his friend. Legolas silently cursed his Adar in his mind.

“Legolas, I thought you had to work, or was it that you weren’t feeling well?” He smiled, having guessed that Legolas was stretching the truth a bit when he backed out of their Sunday plans.

Legolas shrugged his shoulders, drinking his wine slowly, staring at the play of light on the glass.

“Legolas, I thought you might be here, that’s why I came with Dis. I’m sorry Legolas, I actually don’t remember what happened last night, but Éowyn told me. I did exactly what I said I wouldn’t do, I guess, and I understand why you got angry about it. Well, I sort of understand, and I sort of don’t.”

Legolas wasn’t sure what to say.

Gimli leaned back in his chair, tilting his head towards the sky. “Why do you get so jealous, Legolas? It’s not that I mind, don’t think that, I just don’t understand.”

Legolas silently cursed his father again, for this was _exactly_ the kind of conversation he did not want to be having this morning.

“Legolas? I think you have an answer and you just don’t want to tell me.”

Legolas glanced over at his friend, studying his expression, seeing that it was most sincere, and definitely _not_ wanting to tell him the cause of his ire. “Gimli, I’m sorry, but I don’t want to talk about this.”

“I respect that, so I won’t push you too much, but I think we _do_ need to talk about it.” 

“Why is everything about what you want, Gimli? You know what, you want Éomer, why aren’t you with him?”

“I’ll be completely honest, Legolas. I talked to Éomer this morning and he thinks you’re attracted to me.”

“I think Éomer must’ve had too much to drink last night.” He tried to change the subject. “Speaking of drinking, how do you feel? You look pretty hung over.”

“I am, and you’re not, that’s not so unusual for us. I don’t think it’s so unusual either, Legolas, for one friend to be attracted to another.”

Legolas looked at him with a guarded expression.

“I didn’t really think about it before Éomer talked to me this morning, and….” 

Unfortunately at that moment, Gimli’s words were interrupted by the most obnoxiously loud motorcycle either of them had ever heard. It was a midnight black motorcycle that spouted flames and toxic fumes as it pulled into one of the winery’s parking spaces. “Who is that?” Gimli looked a bit taken aback.

“I have no idea. But the fumes, they smell terrible.”

The rider walked up to the terrace, looking up at them. “Is there anyone here with the authority to speak to me?” 

Gimli and Legolas looked at each other, torn between wanting to laugh and wanting to slink away unseen, which was impossible given that the man was talking directly at them.

“I look for this winery’s spokesperson. I am conducting PR business for Dol Goldur Estates. My friends know me as the Mouth, but you can call me the Mouth of Sauron.”

And once again, Legolas and Gimli weren’t sure if they should laugh or try to make an excuse to get away.

Gimli spoke next. “Sauron? As in CEO of AZOG Enterprises?”

“Yes, I am the head of Public Relations for all of our businesses.”

“So AZOG owns Dol Goldur Estates as well?”

The Mouth shrugged. “Essentially, I suppose. But it’s really Mr. Mancer’s domain. Nec R. O. Mancer. He’s very closely related to Annatar Sauron. But I suppose the empire does loosely tie together.”

Thranduil had smelled the fumes from inside the winery, wondering what on Arda it was, and walked up to them. “Can I help you?”

The Mouth laughed, a cackle almost. “No, not really, but yes.”

Thranduil tilted his head and waited.

“I bring a message from the owner of Dol Goldur Estates. We wish to ally with you, to create a joint wine tasting tour.” 

Thranduil most certainly did not want to do this. It was one thing for Dol Goldur Estates to sully the Vineyard Valley and smote its vines with blight, but another entirely for Thranduil himself to formally associate with their subpar product. “That is a most interesting idea, but unfortunately I cannot. You see, my father left this winery in trust to me, with the strict condition that I not associate with others in any way. It must always remain completely independent.” He raised his hands in defeat. “I just cannot, my hands are tied. But if there is any other way I may be able to assist in your venture, please let me know.”

The Mouth nodded, somewhat satisfied with the answer, though not entirely.

“I would bid you, as well, to ask Mr. Mancer if he should take my advice in ridding his vines of the blight? I fear if it is not controlled, it will spread even further. I have attempted to talk to him about this, but his attention seems difficult to hold, as he seems to flit from one thing to another.”

The Mouth nodded, for this was true. “I will see if I can assist him in hearing your message. Do you know of other wineries in the valley that might be interested in my proposal?”

Thranduil pondered. “Yes, I think you could try the Ettenmoors Cellars down the road, it is the 7th winery west of here. I think they would be interested and able.”

The Mouth got on his motorcycle and left, pleased with the lead Thranduil had provided.

“My great goodness.” Thranduil shook his head. “I should not be so shallow as to focus on appearances, but for a PR person, his teeth were sheer pegs and so yellowed, his breath was horrid, his clothes so dirty, his hair never washed I fear, nor his body for it reeked so strongly…and the fumes from that motorcycle, I worry the smell may not leave my vineyard for days.” He crinkled his nose. “And his name? The Mouth? It sounds like an aspiring pop singer or rap artist with poor choice of name.” Thranduil shook his head.

“Well, I must get back to my staff, we have some last minute preparations for the Feast of Starlight launch. Will you both be staying for it?” He didn’t wait for a response. “Good, I am glad.” And he glided back into the stone building, sweeping his hair from his shoulders.

“Legolas, I’ve never seen anything like that before.”

“I know Gimli, I’m not sure whether to laugh or cry. I’m just glad my Adar came out when he did, I had no idea what to say to him.”

“Your Adar is slick with words, that’s for sure.”

“You are too, Gimli, you would’ve thought of something to say.”

“So Legolas, as I had been saying before I was interrupted…” His phone began ringing. “Ah, come on. Seriously? It’s Thorin, I need to answer it.” He took the call and primarily listened, nodding his head and speaking occasionally.

“Well, this should be interesting. Somehow Thorin has my wallet and he’s going to drop it off, since he’s going to be driving through the area.”

“Thorin is coming here? I’m not sure that’s a good idea, Gimli.”

“Yes, but Dis is here, she’ll keep him in line. She’ll be here forever, she’s so obsessive about her vow renewal planning. Lately it’s all she talks about. Anyway, Legolas, as I was saying…” His phone rang again. “Oh, what now? I swear, I wish I had signed up for Palantir network instead, I hear they don’t get service down here. It would have given me some peace and quiet!.........Hello? Let me check. Legolas, Éowyn wants to know if you still want to go riding later. She says she’s been trying to call you. Tomorrow, Éowyn, he wants to go tomorrow instead. Alright. I’m not sure when I’ll be home, we’re at his Dad’s winery. Sure if you want to, but check that we’re still here.” And he hung up the phone again.

“I think she’s going riding with Aragorn, I don’t think that’s a good idea, Legolas.”

“We’ve already told her that, Gimli, it’s her decision I suppose. Besides, Aragorn is a good guy, he wouldn’t mistreat her.”

“Anyway, they might stop by if we’re still here. But enough about them, I want to go back to talking about…..”

Unfortunately, at that moment Sam interrupted them. “Hi there, Mr. Gimli, Legolas. I just wanted to say goodbye, I must be gettin’ on, time to get to my next job.”

Legolas was a bit surprised. “Next job, Sam? You have two?”

“Yes, just a small one though. I watch Mr. Bard’s children on Sunday afternoons, while he works at his archery range. I really like kids, I hope to have a whole bunch someday.”

Legolas smiled. “Sam, you work as much as Gimli does. Well as much as he did, before his CEO put him on a forced 8 to noon workday.”

“I reckon I do, Legolas, but I like to keep busy. Anyway, I need to be going, I'll see both of you later." 

“Legolas, I am starting to think we need more privacy, or I’ll never be able to finish this conversation. Can we go to your house for awhile, work on the rock garden and talk?”

But unfortunately at that moment, Dis walked out. “Gimli! I need your advice inside. Legolas, come help me as well.”

Gimli rolled his eyes. This was obviously going to be a long day.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Just down the road, at Dol Goldur Estates, Merry, Pippin, Bofur, Ori, Nori, Fili, Kili and Tauriel met for Sunday lunch. They were all excited to try the new winery, although it was too new to have many reviews, so they were unsure what to expect. Seated at their large round table, Bofur leaned in to everyone and spoke quietly. “The staff here, they are most…interesting.”

“Yes, they are.” Pippin jumped in. “They sort of remind me of Halloween somehow.”

Fili shrugged. “I kind of like how they all dress in black, though. I think their outfits are unique, too, not something you see every day.”

“You know, Pip, we should open a distillery down here in Vineyard Valley. Would be profitable, I think.” Merry was thoughtful.

“Yes, you should do that.” Tauriel agreed it was a good idea. “Expand the Prancing Pony, a distillery in the Vineyard Valley. There aren’t any distilleries down here, I think it would do well.”

Soon enough their selected red wines were served, the vineyard’s signature _Orc Draught_ and _Morgul Vale Merlot_. Merry frowned when he tasted his. “It’s too acidic, it burns my palate.”

Pippin nodded thoughtfully. “It’s strangely murky, as well." 

Kili spoke next, eager to learn some things about Thorin’s new love interest. “Pippin, Merry, how are you related to Bilbo Baggins?”

Merry was glad for the distraction, for the wine was definitely not very good. “Well, he’s technically our cousin, twice removed, sort of like how you’re Gimli’s cousins removed, but we think of him as our uncle.”

“And what do you think about him and Thorin?” 

Nori laughed and interrupted Kili. “Yes, what did Mr. Baggins think of Thorin’s stroke and aim last night?”

Ori smacked him on the shoulder, since Dori wasn’t there to do so.

Merry was thoughtful. “He hasn’t dated anyone for awhile, he’s been sort of reclusive ever since Sméagol stalked him.”

“Oh, who’s Sméagol?”

Tauriel answered the question for Merry. “His old roommate. They had a falling out over some of their property, some kind of dispute about who owned what. No one is really sure what exactly it was, just that Sméagol went crazy over it. So Bilbo has tended to really monitor his privacy. At least that’s what Legolas and Gimli have told me.”

Fili was surprised. “And he agreed to go on our televised scavenger hunt?" 

Merry shook his head vehemently. “No, he’s just going to be behind the scenes, working on the riddles.”

Bofur gulped down his _Orc Draught_ , grimaced, and then jumped in. “Well, he can’t hide forever. Need to get on with life sometime. And our dear Thorin is just the person to help him do that, I think. This scavenger hunt will be good for dear Mr. Baggins. And for Thorin, too, especially if he wins Arkenstone Hills back.”

Nori turned to Kili and Tauriel. “So, what techniques did you demonstrate to Kili this morning, Tauriel? Was your stance closed or open? Or did you have to block his moves?” Ori smacked him again.

Tauriel thought Nori was most hilarious, however. “My stance isn’t ready yet, dear Nori. But I am not one to make such displays public. Are you, by chance? Do you have a partner that you practice thrusting kicks with?”

Nori wasn’t quite sure what to say, as no one really had ever responded to him like that. But he did laugh, her point made. “She’s a keeper, Kili. You seem like an instant match. Although you just broke up with your boyfriend, right Tauriel?”

She shook her head. “No, it was mutual. Completely mutual.”

The conversation turned to other things, and some of the food and wine they tried was surprisingly good, although some of it was surprisingly bad. Towards the end of their lunch, Merry poked Bofur on the arm. “Hey, look over there, who is that?”

Bofur turned to look where Merry was gesturing. “Hmm, not sure. She is beautiful though.” They both kept staring until Tauriel told them to stop, which they did, and then they started staring again. Soon enough everyone at the table was staring, Tauriel included. “You know, she looks a lot like that movie star, what is her name….. Lúthien? Yes, Lúthien.”

“Who’s Lúthien?” Nori was confused. “She’s very attractive, though. Mesmerizing. Entrancing.”

Fili thought he knew. “You know, Lúthien. Of Lúthien and Beren. They were in that werewolf movie, oh what was it, Huan or something? _It_ couple of the year. Brangelina is out, BLu is in. Right Kili?”

And all at the table, minus Merry, were surprised to suddenly see Pippin in their field of view, asking this famous couple for an autograph and photo, with which they happily obliged. Bofur was impressed. “Bold, isn’t he? Well, I won’t be outdone.” So he went and joined Pippin, and had his photo taken with his new friend and the _it_ couple.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

When Thorin and Bilbo arrived at the Greenwood Collection, Gimli, Legolas and his Naneth, Gwíneth, were assisting Dis with her menu selection, as she could not decide between the various years of the winery’s prized import, _Durin’s Sparkling Shiraz_. She had it narrowed down to three of the seven vintages that were presented to her, each with a long-lasting blend of richness and a slight variant on the same core flavors.

“Dis! What are you doing here?” Thorin’s deep voice boomed in the cavernous room, and they all turned.

“Ah, dear brother. Adlia and I are renewing our vows here, remember? She had to work today, but she'll be meeting me here later. I was just finalizing our wine selection; come and give me your opinion. And who is your friend? Are you going to introduce me?”

Both Gimli and Legolas were somewhat surprised to see Mr. Baggins. And especially surprised to see that Thorin was holding Mr. Baggins’ hand. Things must be moving quickly indeed. Introductions were made, and Dis realized who Mr. Baggins was.

She walked over to Bilbo to shake his hand. “Small world! So you’re Eowyn’s neighbor. I’ve heard so much about you. I keep a horse at Rohan Ranch, and I am the one who introduced Gimli to Eowyn. The rest, as they say, is history.” She led Bilbo over to the table they were using. “Come on over, and put in your opinion. These are all so delicious, similar yet different; we’re having trouble deciding which one to choose.”

Thorin rolled his eyes, for he knew his sister could spend hours doing this, tasting the same wine over and over. But he knew better than to argue with her, as well, for that would go nowhere.

And then his phone rang. “Normally, I wouldn’t take a call on the weekend, but this is from the TLKN-network. It’s about the Scavenger Hunt, and I would like to keep things moving on that front.”

He walked outside to the front garden to talk just as Thranduil came in through the back door with Mr. Treebeard, motioning for Dis and Gwíneth to join them.

Legolas and Gimli were happy to find themselves alone with Mr. Baggins, and Gimli spoke first. “So, you’re formally dating then? Interesting. That was fast. Well, if I had known, I would’ve just had him drop my wallet off with you, you didn’t need to come out here.”

Bilbo looked a bit flustered. “Oh, it’s no trouble at all. We wanted to drive through the Vineyard Valley anyway. Although I feel rather silly, I had somehow forgotten this was your father’s winery until I saw you, Legolas. I don’t know where my head is at.”

Legolas smiled. “Are you in love, Mr. Baggins? That would explain it.”

“Legolas!” Gimli scolded him slightly under his breath.

“I don’t mind, Gimli, it’s a fair question from a well-intended friend. I’m not sure, Legolas, but I will say it seems to be happening quickly. But I will not say more than that, a gentleman does not kiss and tell.“

“Mr. Baggins!” Legolas smiled knowingly amidst his mock expression of surprise, for it was all too clear what Gimli’s neighbor meant.

Thorin rejoined them with somewhat good news, he thought. “Well, apparently some of the network people are down the road at another winery; the producer and the documentary hosts are going to stop by to introduce themselves to me and set up a schedule.” He looked at Bilbo. “Good to get this over with, I suppose, then we can have the day to ourselves.”

Gimli looked at him curiously. “And where do you plan to go, Thorin?”

“Not sure. What are you in the mood for, Bilbo?”

Legolas jumped in. “Stay here, my father’s launching his Feast of Starlight tastings today, it’ll be fun.”

Thorin looked at him, puzzled. “Your father? Wait, your father owns this winery?” He touched his head. “Of course, Greenwood Collection. Why did I not think of that? Where is my head?”

“Same place as Mr. Baggins’ I suppose.” Gimli whispered under his breath to Legolas, but Thorin heard anyway and sent him a glare.

“Mr. Baggins, you haven’t met my Adar, this will be a good opportunity. Let me go and grab a tasting menu, and there’s an empty table over there, we can sit there and catch up.” Legolas went over to the bar area and grabbed a menu, and Thorin, Bilbo and Gimli went to sit down.

Thorin wanted to leave, as he felt no warm feelings towards Thranduil, but he also wanted to make a good impression with Bilbo, so he decided he needed to stay and try to be polite. They sampled wines, and soon enough were joined by Éowyn and Aragorn, who had a wonderfully fun riding session and came over to the vineyard per Gimli’s invitation.

“Mr. Baggins! I didn’t expect to see you here! What a nice surprise! You remember Aragorn, correct? I’m not sure I know who your friend is, but he looks familiar to me?” Éowyn was most interested in this handsome man with the long dark hair and beard sitting beside Mr. Baggins, his arm around the back of his chair.

“Éowyn! Fancy meeting up with you here! This is Thorin Oakenshield, Gimli’s CEO.” She nodded in recognition, placing the man’s handsome face now. “Thorin, this is Gimli’s roommate, Éowyn, and their friend, Aragorn. Have a seat, the two of you.”

They talked over their wine, recounting events at the Ranch.

“Arod is excited to see you tomorrow, Legolas. I gave him your regrets, and told him that you miss him.” Aragorn still thought it was so endearing that she spoke to the horses. 

“How is your Uncle Théoden, Eowyn?”

“He’s doing ok, I suppose. I am a bit concerned, though. Saruman was there, apparently my Uncle has joined his congregation. Gandalf doesn’t like him, right Legolas? I remember you telling me stories about that.”

Legolas nodded.

Their conversation was interrupted by a loud commotion. It was the TLKN-network people, Lúthien and Beren included, as they would be the documentary’s hosts. Introductions were made, and most of the patrons of the Greenwood Collection were entranced with Lúthien’s beauty, Gimli included, for he loved to gaze upon attractive faces. Thorin talked with them for some time, not understanding why everyone seemed so dumb-founded.  She was nothing compared to Bilbo, after all.

Aragorn and Éowyn glanced over at Legolas, seeing his eyes brewing with jealousy. Aragorn sighed, wishing the two of them would just figure this out already, he had figured it out a long time ago. Slow, they were.

Legolas stood up, making an excuse. “I think the bartender needs my help, it’s getting fairly busy over there, I’ll be right back.” And he slipped out the back door. Gimli noticed this, primarily because Éowyn kicked him under the table, and followed. 

“So what’s this about? Why is Gimli’s CEO meeting with the TLKN-network people?” Aragorn was curious.

Bilbo answered. “Thorin is doing a corporate scavenger hunt. It’s a competition against AZOG. They’ll be filming it, and the winner gets Arkenstone Hills as a prize.”

“And Mr. Baggins is going to write riddles for it!” Éowyn was most proud of her neighbor. “And I’m going to help out also, if they’ll allow additional players. I did one for our Ranch, against Mearas Manor, it was a lot of fun.”

Aragorn had a thoughtful expression on his scruffily-handsome face. “Their CEO, Sauron…I don’t know if this is a good idea, Mr. Baggins. Arwen’s father, Elrond Peredhel, he doesn’t trust him at all. I wouldn’t trust this scavenger hunt either, Mr. Baggins. Sauron has to have an additional motive, one that no one has guessed.”

Mr. Baggins nodded. “Maybe you should mention that to Thorin. Although now that you say that, I think he said that Gandalf had the same concerns. Yes, he did.” 

Aragorn remained thoughtful. “If it proceeds, I think I’d like to help out as well. I would greatly enjoy seeing Sauron put in his place. And I think I’d like to see how Éowyn does in this competition; Sauron will regret allowing her to play.” He glanced at Éowyn, smiling, and she smiled brightly back. 

Some time after the TLKN-people left, Thranduil swept back into the room with Dis and Gwíneth, his gaze questioning when he saw the LM2 CEO. He joined them at their table, making and receiving introductions for those he didn't know.  Then he turned to Thorin.  “Thorin Oakenshield. To what do I owe this pleasure?”

Thorin nodded his head slightly in recognition. “Thranduil. Nice to see you.”

“I have heard you have planned a scavenger hunt. A quest, if you will, a quest to reclaim Arkenstone Hills.”

He nodded again.

Thranduil spoke softly, so that only Thorin could hear. “I am interested in assisting you. I have heard that there are gems in those hills, specific white gems, that I seek for my jeweler to craft rings from. I will make it worth your while.”

Thorin looked at him quizzically, speaking softly in turn. “I am not sure I would trust you. You know what has passed between us.”

Thranduil nodded. “I know you think I lack honor, but you do not have the whole story. Let me tell you that, and then make your decision.”

Thorin thought on this for some moments, and agreed. “Alright, I will listen to what you have to say. But perhaps not now, if you will, for I am on a date. Can we meet next week?” 

Thranduil smiled. “Of course.” He returned to speak to the entire table. “Order whatever you want, the house will take care of it. And please, stay for our Feast of Starlight launch, I think you will enjoy it.”  Then he returned to his Feast of Starlight preparations.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Gimli found Legolas outside, sitting under one of the blossoming fruit trees. Legolas heard the ginger-haired man approach with his above-average hearing, his eyes studying the sky.

“Legolas, look, this is a perfect example of what I was saying. You’re jealous, and it’s just of me. You didn’t care at all that Aragorn was staring at her too. Or most of the winery. Just me.” He looked at him knowingly, a smile crossing his face. “I’ll make you a wager.”

Legolas frowned, smirking a bit. “Oh, what’s that? I think you’re still a bit too hung over to drink anymore. Plus I’ve always handled wine better than you.”

“No, that’s not it. So are you in?”

“I guess, but what is it?”

“I’ll kiss you, and if you feel nothing, I’ll drop this. But if you feel something, you have to talk to me about it.” 

This made Legolas most concerned, and he couldn’t tell if Gimli was serious. “I don’t know, Gimli, that sounds sort of strange.”

“No, I don’t think so….” and then his phone rang again. “I swear, I am going to drive over this thing when I leave the parking lot. Several times to make sure it is completely destroyed.”

“Just don’t answer it then, let it go to voicemail.”

“You know I hate having voicemails.”

“But this is why you are on this forced 8-12 schedule, Gimli. You don’t know how to let things wait. Plus you love to talk.”

“It’s my cousin, I should get it. Hello? No thanks, I’m busy. Well, I’m at the Greenwood Collection right now, but I don’t know how long. Though Thorin is here with Bilbo, I think they’re having an opening in about an hour. Sure, the more the merrier.   Just tell Nori to be on his best behavior, this place is a bit more upper-crust than he’s used to.”

“Well, my cousins, and Merry and Pippin, and Ori and Nori, and Bofur, and I think Tauriel, they’re on their way over. Apparently they were at Dol Goldur Estates, wanted me to go over there.”

“I wonder how that went. Based on meeting the Mouth of Sauron, I’d say not very well." 

“Enough about them. Now, are you ready?” 

“Gimli, first of all, this isn’t the time or place for something like this. Second, it feels too forced. Third, what about me being on the rebound? We’re always talking about that with other people. Fourth, you were just kissing Éomer last night, now you want to kiss me as a test? Fifth, this is a public place, who knows where Mr. Treebeard and Mr. Quickbeam and all the others are, they could be watching.”

Gimli shrugged. “Enough of places and times, Legolas. And rebound? Not much to rebound from. Watch away, gigantically-sized vineyard tenders.”

“Hoom! Hello there!”

Gimli rolled his eyes and shook his head in frustration. “You have got to be kidding me.”

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

The old and new friends who had their variable-quality lunch at Dol Goldur Estates soon arrived at the Greenwood Collection, all excited to see Thorin and Bilbo firsthand. Everyone moved to a larger table, and Nori made sure he sat by Bilbo, for he was most interested in getting the scoop from the man of the hour himself. Bilbo looked a bit downtrodden about his new conversation partner, worried what might be next. He patted his pocket, looking for his aspirin, downing some with his wine just in case. 

“So, Mr. Baggins, now that you've played a round or two, do you agree with what I told you, how Thorin’s aim is most accurate?”

Thorin glanced over at Nori, his arm draped across the back of Bilbo’s chair, expression most stern, and this was enough for him to stop.

Soon enough Thranduil called for everyone’s attention. “Welcome to our opening, our Feast of Starlight! I welcome you all to the Greenwood Collection!”

He spoke in his melodic tone, and Aragorn leaned over to Éowyn. “Where are Gimli and Legolas? They’ve certainly been gone awhile.”

She, in turn, leaned towards him. “Maybe they left. I’m sure they’ve sat through these things so many times, it might be boring?”

He whispered back. “I’m enjoying it a lot myself. Although I didn’t think I would have ended up with all of these folks, but they’re fun, and it’s pretty interesting.”

She smiled, her wide breathtakingly beautiful smile. And despite all Aragorn had said about being noble and being friends, it was at that moment his heart was lost to her. He smiled back at her, his ruggedly handsome smile, and she felt the same.

 

 

 

After Thranduil led the initial tastings, which were fantastically delicious, many people got up to mingle or go out to the gardens. The afternoon turned into evening, everyone having a lovely time, when Bofur saw that the winery gave tours every hour. Tauriel offered to lead them around, having been here several times before and knowing that Thranduil would encourage her to do so. So it happened that in the cellars, Merry, Bofur, Ori, Nori, Kili and Fili were being led by Tauriel in an impromptu tour, most interested in what they saw, when Pippin called to them.

He had wandered off from the group as he often did in his curiosity, and had some unfortunate news. “I think I just accidentally locked us in here.”

Merry snorted. “No, that’s not possible. How could we be locked in here?” But they were, and they couldn’t get out. No one could get cell reception down in the cellar, especially not those who were on the Palantir network, for the cell towers that served the Vineyard Valley were damaged and the Palantir Cellular Network never seemed to get around to fixing them.

“Tauriel, can you smash the door open?”

She looked at Nori, aghast at his words. “Never! Thranduil was the primary investor in my studio, I can’t damage his property! And I don’t think he would appreciate us screaming for help, either, not with all of the guests upstairs. Don’t worry, someone will come through here eventually. Look, there’s lots of wine and food stored down here. We’re fine.”

Pippin spoke up. “Well, they’ll just come and get us when they need more, right?" 

She shook her head. “No, this is the secondary storage area. They have all they need upstairs, enough for at least a week. But don’t worry, they’ll come through here at some point. If nothing else, for the tours tomorrow; I think they don’t have any more planned for this evening.” 

Bofur laughed. “Well, looks like we might be spending another night together, my friends! Good thing tomorrow is a holiday!”

They sat and talked, laughing, for they all shared similar senses of humor (well, perhaps not quite as lewd as Nori, but all the same….). Tauriel knew where various things were stored down here, and showed them the restrooms as well. They staged their own sampling, Tauriel knowing Thranduil wouldn’t mind.

Pippin was wandering around the room, looking at various things on the shelves, examining the different barrels, when he saw something odd. “Look, what is this?”

“Hmm?” Tauriel looked up from her wine, over which she had been staring at Kili.

“This, back here. It’s a huge dead spider.   I don’t think I’ve ever seen such a big spider.”

She walked over to see. “Um, that’s creepy. Are you sure it’s dead?” She looked at it more closely, and poked at it with her foot. “Pippin, it’s a fake spider!”

“Well it looked real!”

He refilled his wine glass, and then went back to where he had been, looking at the fake spider again. Then he leaned back against the shelving along the back wall that held layers upon layers of wineglasses. “Wait, Pippin, don’t do that, that shelving isn’t….”

But it was too late, they came crashing down. “….stable.” Tauriel finished her sentence, grimacing, the shattering of glass still reverberating through the cellar.

Bofur smiled, his grin most wide. “Well, that’ll get someone’s attention!”

 

 

 

 

Luckily for Pippin, Thranduil wasn’t nearly as upset as Tauriel had expected he would be. Thorin and Bilbo were apologetic, feeling like it was their fault somehow, for it was those they knew who had been locked down in the cellar. Granted, it wasn’t clear how it even happened, but still. When he heard the cost of the damage, Bilbo was most glad that he had taken his aspirin. Thranduil didn’t seem to mind, however.

As they got ready to leave, Éowyn and Aragorn wondered where Gimli and Legolas were. They had come here, after all, partly to spend time with their two friends. And when Éowyn saw their cars were gone, she wondered. “That’s strange. I wonder where they went. They never came back after the TLKN-network people were here.”

Aragorn shook his head uncertainly. “I don’t know.” They drove back to her house, enjoying one another’s company the entire way. And when they arrived, she noted that Gimli’s car wasn’t here, wondering again where he was. And then she held Aragorn’s arm so he wouldn’t exit the car. “Look, over at Mr. Baggins’ house. Thorin’s kissing him goodnight on the step.   A week ago, I wouldn’t have thought I’d see that! I wonder what Gimli thinks about it.”

Aragorn gently turned her gaze away from them, smiling fondly. “Give them privacy.” His eyes studied her face. “Are you free tomorrow? To go riding again? It’s a holiday, after all.”

His diversion of her attention, while not intended as such, was more successful than if it had been planned carefully, because she couldn’t stop gazing into his eyes. “What? Did you say something?”

They stared at one another for a bit of time, and then Aragorn kissed her, most gently at first. When he pulled back, he was lost in her eyes, and he couldn’t resist kissing her again. And again. And again.

 

 

 

Thranduil and Gwíneth closed down the winery, going outside to find Mr. Treebeard, as the hard-working man often stayed past closing, in a most dedicated manner continuing his work. He seemed to have a different sense of time, minutes passing more slowly for him than they did for the typical person. But he wasn’t anywhere that they could see.

“He must have left for the day, my love. Or he’s standing still among the fruit trees, enjoying the night and the blossoms.” Gwíneth led Thranduil away. “Either way, let’s go, this night is so lovely, it’s perfect, let’s go enjoy it, and I can recount all the reasons I love you.” Gwíneth smiled at him, and Thranduil was as hopelessly in love as he ever was.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Occasional lines taken from the movies or books. And yes, I am leaving Gimli & Legolas for the next chapter :-)
> 
> Feast of Starlight = Mereth Nuin Giliath aka Feast Under Stars. The celebration Tauriel talks about with Kili in Desolation of Smaug
> 
> Orc Draught = The nasty stuff Merry drank when he & Pippin were captured in the Two Towers
> 
> Manwë = King of the Valar (divine spirits). Gandalf (aka Olorin in Valinor) worked with many of the Valar, but may have been formally counted as one of Manwë’s. It was Manwë who chose him to travel to Middle-Earth in the form of Gandalf.
> 
> Aman = Valinor/Undying Lands
> 
> Annatar = The name Sauron used when he disguised himself as a fair elf in the elvish realm of Eregion during the Second Age. This was the form he used to convince elves (e.g., Celebrimbor) to forge the various Rings of Power. Celebrimbor forged the three elven rings without Annatar’s knowledge. Sauron is in his very attractive form in this story.
> 
> Narvi = A dwarf of the (early) second age, and Celebrimbor's close friend, he crafted the Doors of Moria while Celebrimbor engraved the runes on them. (this, of course, was prior to the terrible falling out between elves and dwarves related to the Silmaril/Nauglamír--Beren played a key role in this).
> 
> Huan = the Hound of Valinor, one of the hunting dogs of Oromë the Hunter. He has a key role in the Tale of Lúthien and Beren.
> 
> Eärendil = Elrond’s father; he carries the Silmaril rescued from Angband by Lúthien and Beren over the sky each night in his ship. This is the elvish legend of the origin of Venus.
> 
> Oropher and 2/3 of his army were decimated in the War of the Last Alliance. (This is the war in which Gil-Galad was killed along with Elendil (Isildur's father), and it is shown at the beginning of the Fellowship of the Ring; Elrond was Gil-Galad's herald in this battle). The elves of Greenwood/Mirkwood had established themselves in their wood and sought complete independence from other elves, etc. Thranduil was part of the army. Oropher gave command to his army to attack before Gil-Galad, High King of the Noldor, had given orders to do so; his elves were ill-equipped and they suffered heavy losses. The then-King of Lórien, Amdir, also charged early, as he also resented Gil-Galad. This initial charge was called the Battle of Dagorlad, and most of Sauron's forces were destroyed. Technically speaking, the Seige of Barad-dûr then began, and it lasted 7 years, until Sauron came forth, killing Gil-Galad and Elendil (and then Isildur cut the Ring from Sauron's hand). Galadriel/Celeborn moved to Lórien to take over rule there; Thranduil particularly did not like Galadriel so he moved his realm further north.


	6. The Scavenger Hunt Begins

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two months after Thranduil’s Feast of Starlight launch, everyone gathers again at the Greenwood Collection, this time for Dis’ vow renewal ceremony. Various couples, new and not-new, celebrate the happy occasion, and there are some surprises in store. The next day, the scavenger hunt kicks off, with much less efficiency within the teams than either Thorin or Sauron would want to see (but isn’t half the fun of a scavenger hunt talking, enhancing relationships old and new, and having a generally good time?). Although some teams definitely have more fun than others. And this time, Legolas isn’t jealous, so much as..…other things.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Riddles are taken from the Hobbit book, with some slight modifications to make them more specific (e.g., it would be too vague to just have an answer like “teeth,” so I included some other location vagueness to help the teams solve the clues).
> 
> Map of key locations can be found in Appendix 2.

The weekend prior to the launch of the corporate scavenger hunt competition, LM2 and AZOG had finished their final preparations and waited with anticipation for Monday to roll around. Contracts were signed, rules were clear, and teams were in place. Both LM2 and AZOG had agreed to the addition of equal numbers of non-corporate participants, as long as each was vetted by the TLKN-network team, ensuring that no untoward unfair advantage occurred by the addition of said players. LM2 and AZOG had submitted their respective suggestions for riddles, the former’s riddle team being led by Bilbo. The TLKN-network examined all submitted riddles, reworking them slightly to turn them into formal clues, choosing an equal number from each team.

As they waited, the scavenger hunt team turned its attention to another event. Two months to the day after the Greenwood Collection’s Feast of Starlight launch, many of those who had gathered on that beautiful spring day were readying themselves for another event at the winery, namely Dis’ long-anticipated and thoroughly planned vow renewals.

It was a pleasantly warm early summer day, no clouds to be seen in the sky. Sam’s well-tended flowers were in bloom, the scent of roses filling the air. Thorin arrived at the Greenwood Collection with plenty of time to spare, for he had no desire to see what Dis would do to him if he was late. Today he would stand beside his sister and serve as her witness, as he had done during their commitment ceremony three decades ago, and again when such marriages had been formally recognized. When he saw her, he thought she looked most stunning, and told her so.

“Thank you, dear brother. I have to say, I’m surprised that I’m so nervous!” She looked it, too, her face anxious and tight amidst her carefully coiffed dark hair.

He smiled, touching the braids and beads on the top of her head, marveling at how the intricate design stayed in place. “You’ve been with her for so long, what is there to be nervous about?”

“Well, for one, the people, some of whom I don’t know very well. This whole event itself, I want it to go off without a hitch. Though I have to say everything so far has run like clockwork; say what you will about them, but this winery does a fabulous job with event planning.”

Thorin smiled wryly. He had warmed up to Legolas a bit (well, more than a bit) over the past two months, and had definitely taking a liking to Gwíneth, Legolas’ Naneth, for she was a most pleasant person. He even thought a bit more kindly of Thranduil, although they continued to maintain a cool acquaintance.

“It’ll be fine. Dis, you aren’t one to imagine every possible worst case scenario, so stop worrying that something will go wrong."

“Well, it’s not just that! Show me, I want to see again.”

He smiled, and pulled a small mahogany box out of his coat pocket, which Dis immediately grabbed out of his hand. She opened the box slowly. “I love these boxes, Celebrimbor & Co., they are so lovely. But this, I’m so glad we designed this, it’s perfect.” Inside was a wide gold band, inlaid with white gems, the latter being a family heirloom that Dis had decided would make a wonderful addition to Thorin’s gift.

He laughed. “We spent more time at Celebrimbor & Co. that you spent here tasting wine for your ceremony, and I wouldn’t have thought that would be possible! We’re lucky Celebrimbor himself was willing to spend so much time with us. Especially since you needed to see every option on Arda, and then see each option once more. And then once more again. And again. And again. And…” His tone was playful and gentle.

She smacked his shoulder, playful in return, interrupting him. “You need to make sure you get this right! You don’t propose everyday, Thorin, and in fact you’ve never proposed to anyone before.  This needs to be special. Bilbo deserves it. I wonder what he’ll say.” She sighed happily, perhaps even more excited about this aspect of her wedding vow renewal than her own parts in it, which said everything about her level of anticipation.

“I hope he says yes! Though, doing this in front of everyone, I’m not sure if it’s a good idea.” He looked thoughtful. “He’s not one for huge public displays.”

She crinkled a brow. “Are you talking about yourself? Neither are you. Don’t worry, he’ll love it, I know it. Besides, if he doesn’t say yes it will be because he is speechless, and then Adlia will jump in and say yes for him. Or maybe Nori.” She laughed, knowing her partner and the somewhat-lewd man, for that could very well happen with each.

She closed the box containing the ring and gave it back to Thorin. “So will you get married here? And judging by your response to that, I see probably not. What about where you first met? At his house or Gimli’s? That would be most lovely.”

He nodded thoughtfully. “That’s not a bad idea. But let’s not get ahead of ourselves. First, he needs to say yes. Then, we need to win Arkenstone Hills back. Then, we’ll see what we want to do.”

“Well, I’ll take care of the planning, I love this sort of thing. It will be more thoroughly planned than any wedding before it!”

He rolled his eyes. He could only imagine how much time that would take. If she could occupy so much of his time simply helping him design a ring,….maybe he and Bilbo should elope. Yes, that sounded like a good idea, and there was precedent for that in the family now, after all. But before he could think on this any longer, there was a knock on the door in the room they were using within the winery. It was Gwíneth and Sam, coming to review the day’s plans. “I will be back, dear sister, for I am certain I won’t be useful to you here.”

As Gwíneth and Sam began reviewing the final staging of the wedding area, making last minute adjustments for Dis, Thorin walked to the front garden of the winery, looking for a place to smoke his pipe. It was a bad habit, one he was trying to kick, one that Bilbo had decided was a health hazard and needed to be stopped, but stopping was hard. Even more difficult when he saw the ginger-haired man sitting amidst the rose bushes, partaking of his own.

“Gimli! Are you ready for the scavenger hunt?”

“Thorin, of course! Everyone’s ready. I can’t get Éowyn to stop talking about it. She and Aragorn are going to bring Bilbo today, by the way; he’s still meeting with the TLKN-network people about his final riddle submission.”

Thorin nodded. “I have to say, Gimli, Bilbo has come up with more riddles than my sister could come up with wedding plans.”

“That’s true, no doubt.”

“Where’s Legolas?”

“Talking to Thranduil. Well, more specifically, tasting some of the new wines Thranduil is working on. I had to skip out on it, Thranduil’s really developed this woodsy bent, everything is flavored like forests and nature, not something I love, to be honest.”

“I can’t explain it, but somehow I’m not surprised.”

They smoked in quiet, enjoying the morning. Then Gimli asked a question, running his hand through his hair absent-mindedly. “Is Dis ready? She put more time into wine tasting than we put into the entire scavenger hunt so far, I think.”

He laughed. “Yes, and I have to say, I understand now why Adlia had to work so many hours the past couple of months, she wanted to avoid these preparations!”

Gimli rolled his eyes, for he didn’t understand the excessive preparation either. “Just do like Tauriel and Kili did, elope in Las Vegas.” He shook his head. “I still can’t believe that happened. Crazy. And Dis’ face, she was _not_ happy about missing out on that.”

“Well, her revenge will come soon enough; she’s going to plan a reception for them as soon as her vow renewal is done.”

“Do Tauriel and Kili know this?”

“I have no idea. But I do agree with her, they got married way too fast. There’s something to be said for waiting, for taking things more slowly."

Gimli nodded, thoughtful. Then he smiled and laughed. “Like you and Bilbo? Super-slow, you are! Can I see the ring again?”

Thorin showed him, Gimli marveling at the craftsmanship, and they chatted some more.

 

 

The ceremony went perfectly, Dis and Adlia renewing their vows in the splendor of the winery, Dis attended by Thorin, and Adlia by her best friend, and both by their sons, Kili and Fili. The brothers were perhaps the most happy people at the winery, content seeing that their mothers' love for one another was long-lasting and true.

An early dinner followed the ceremony, the menu consisting of an assortment of perfectly paired food and wine, and many toasts were made to health, happiness, and enduring love.

Thorin took his turn near the end of the speeches, per his plan with his sister and sister-in-law. His deep voice boomed, and Bilbo thought he had never seen him more handsome than this. “I’d like to toast my dear sister and sister-in-law, overcoming obstacles head-on, for they have love I never thought I would match, never dreamed I could have.” And he turned to Bilbo, seated at his side. “Until I met you, at a most unexpected party two months ago.”

Dis was smiling, Adlia was smiling, as were Fili and Kili and Tauriel, Gimli and Legolas, and more; a good portion of the guests, it seemed, knew what was coming next. “Bilbo Baggins, would you do me the honor of marrying me? For I love you more than I would have ever dreamed possible.” And he pulled out that most glorious ring from Celebrimbor’s and Co.

Everyone waited in silent anticipation, Bilbo being one of them, for he was frozen and speechless, certainly not expecting this, but being most glad for _this_ type of unexpected turn of events. His heart was both pounding and stilled in his chest, his breath expelled from his body in a gasp. It took a nudge from Nori to return to reality; the sometimes-crude man greatly enjoyed seeking Bilbo out at events, faithfully sitting on his other side, which Bilbo had _almost_ come to enjoy himself, especially after he had started taking aspirin proactively in preparation.

Bilbo was eventually able to mutter _yes_ , _of course_ , his stammering most adorable to Thorin’s eyes. Thorin reverently placed the ring on Bilbo’s finger, and then his fingertips drew Bilbo’s face towards his, sealing his promise of this type of commitment with a probing kiss. Bilbo’s warmth and sweetness met Thorin’s intensity, and for some moments they forgot where they were. Not that it mattered, for many in this crowd were most appreciative of the display, their fondness for the pair clearly demonstrated by their clapping and shouts of “Here, here!” and “Again, more, please!” And yes, there were cat-calls, even louder than the night of the unexpected party, but this time Bilbo found that the shouts and whistles from Ori, Bofur, Nori and the others were _much_ more welcome. And perhaps most endearing of all, the loudest ones came from Frodo, seated nearby.

 

 

 

Dancing followed after dinner, various couples moving sweetly amidst the romantic setting, included among them Kili & Tauriel, Éoywn & Aragorn, Thorin & Bilbo, and, of course, Dis & Adlia. Bombur, Glóin, Óin, and Balin twirled their wives around the dancefloor, bringing a smile to Gimli’s face as he walked the outskirts of the dancefloor.

Gimli said hello to Bofur, Merry, Pippin, Sam, Frodo and Fili seated at a table he walked past, his eyes continuing to search for one in particular. He finally spotted him dancing and moved to interrupt. “Excuse me, Gwíneth, might I borrow your son for a few minutes?”

“Certainly, Gimli.” She smiled, and moved to dance with her husband instead, pulling Thranduil into her embrace, moving gracefully and lovingly amidst the other couples. Thorin had decided to allow Thranduil to participate in the scavenger hunt per his request, for the winery owner wanted to assist Thorin with winning Arkenstone Hills back and earn the white gems he so desired. His therapist had cautioned him, concerned he might be developing the beginnings of a renewed obsession, but he thought it would be most manageable. Gwineth, Dis and Adlia decided to sit the scavenger hunt out, not at all interested in it.

As Gwíneth and Thranduil twirled away, Gimli took Legolas’ hand, and they walked slowly out to the vineyard’s fields, enjoying the cool breeze of the evening.

Legolas frowned. “You want to tend to the vines right now? The blight isn’t the first thing on my mind right now.”

“No, silly, I want to go back to that tree, the one I first wanted to kiss you under. I never got to the first time, after all.”

Legolas smiled, the type of sparkling smile only exhibited by those hopelessly in love. “That’s certainly a romantic sentiment. And I did make you wait a month. So maybe I will.” He said this in a most teasing way.

Gimli pulled Legolas down beside him, sitting under the tree. “The stars are beautiful tonight, Gimli. It’s a perfect night.” And they were, but that’s not where Gimli’s mind was; the stars weren’t the beauty that he gazed at, not the beauty that flooded his mind. He pulled Legolas’ face towards his own, twining his hand in his hair, gliding his lips over his, much as he had done a month ago. It was a most gentle touch at first, much like that first kiss, but without the hesitation this time, without the grim mask Legolas had worn in those initial moments during that first kiss, trying vainly to hide his true feelings, which had been a completely impossible task. No, this time there was no hiding at first, and this slowness was borne of savoring and sweetness. And soon enough Gimli’s mouth became more demanding, hands exploring one another, Legolas entranced by growing passion and desire that he never felt with any other. They sat like this for unmeasured moments, lost in one another, when there was reminder of that day two months ago.

“Hoom! Hello there!”

Gimli reluctantly drew back a bit, resting his forehead against Legolas’, keeping him in his warm embrace. He rolled his eyes for good measure, for while he liked Mr. Treebeard, and was most happy that his speed-dating had been successful, finding himself a girlfriend, he was _not_ interested in being interrupted right now. The vineyard, it seemed, was a place of constant interruption, reminding him of the reason he and Legolas had gone back to the latter’s house those two months ago. Not that it was a bad thing, of course; it had turned out to be a good conversation, and Legolas making him wait a month to follow through on his wager to kiss him had made it all the more sweet.

They turned to the tall man. “Mr. Treebeard, how are you? Is your lovely friend here?”

“No, she had to travel East. Hoom! But I miss her already. Hoom! She might just turn out to be a wife for me!”

They both smiled at the vineyard’s chief vine-minder.

“Hoom! So tell me, young friends, when will you be getting married?"

Gimli balked, though Legolas didn’t notice, being busy answering the question. “It’s far too soon for that, Mr. Treebeard! Besides, my father would need a year’s warning to plan a wedding to his specifications, knowing how he is.” And Gimli felt calmer, glad to hear that Legolas didn’t expect the rushing that others in their social circle currently seemed to be so fond of.

“Hoom! Yes indeed, I do. That would be a lot of work indeed! I might need to start preparing for it myself! Well, my young friends, I must get back to the vines. Hoom!” And he walked away in his slow manner, leaving Legolas and Gimli to themselves. Gimli smiled warmly at Legolas, his eyes drinking in every detail of his beautiful face, fingertips tracing his swollen lips. “Now, where were we?” he whispered, and before Legolas could answer, his mouth was claimed again, drawing a gasp from him as their breath mingled, time seeming to stand still.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

The next day, at 9 am sharp, everyone met at the TLKN-network building, awaiting the start of the scavenger hunt. Everyone had been restrained in their drinking the night before, to ensure they were well-prepared for today. Bilbo had decided to participate in the hunt itself after all, as he had heard the team’s other riddle generator was planning to do so, and he didn’t want Thorin’s team to be at a disadvantage.

“Uncle Bilbo? Are you ok?” Frodo looked concerned, for his Uncle couldn’t stop staring at one of the competitors. He looked over, and gasped. “Sméagol? What is Sméagol doing here? And who is that beside him? Looks exactly like him.”

Introductions were made amongst all the team members on both sides. Sméagol was friendly, which made Bilbo relieved; perhaps time had healed old wounds, after all. He seemed much less bitter about the dispute they had over their property back when they had been roommates, back when Sméagol had essentially stalked him. But when Sméagol shook his hand, he got the shivers, and not pleasant shivers like the ones Thorin gave him. No, these were cold chills.

Sméagol stared at Bilbo’s engagement ring, his strangely toned voice marveling at what he saw. “What’s this? A ring? It’s beautiful, it’s precious.”

Bilbo cut the conversation short. “That’s quite enough, Sméagol. I look forward to seeing your contributions to the competition.”

The rules were explained. One riddle would be presented per day, each team being presented with the same clue, the Tolkien team having modified the general riddles so that specific locations would be targeted. Teams were permitted to split up into as many separate groups as they wanted. Allowed versus not-allowed behavior was discussed; violators would be permanently expelled from the competition. In a variant of typical scavenger hunt rules, the first team to solve a given riddle by finding the gold-colored token at the correct location would be declared that day’s winner, and the team with the most battles won at the end of the hunt would be declared the winner.

The teams went to opposite ends of the TLKN-network corporate campus, finding that the camera teams following them quickly faded into the background. They had previously decided on a tentative general strategy, and would break up into small teams to comb the town more effectively, as Bilbo thought the clues would be vague enough to warrant this. He had been asked to generate very vague riddles, after all, things that referred broadly to objects such as dishes, animals, or plants, without specifically generating locations; this part was left to the TLKN-network team.

Thorin opened the first clue, his heart beating quickly in anticipation:

An eye in a blue face  
Saw an eye in a green face.  
'That eye is like to this eye'  
Said the first eye,  
'But in low place  
Not in high place.'  
Said the second eye,  
‘And when the bank  
is not filled with its treasure.’

And then he frowned. “What the fuck is this?”

“Thorin!” Bilbo whispered, holding his arm, trying to get him to calm down.

Éowyn spoke up next. “This is part of the fun, let’s try to figure out the answer.”

Soon enough they had narrowed it down to flowers, some type of flower, growing in a field with the sun shining down on the blooms.

“But what of the bank, Bilbo?” Ori asked their chief riddle-solver.

Nori laughed. “I hope it’s not the Bank of Bilbo Baggins, filled with Oakenshield treasure!” Dori smacked him, and Thorin glared, but Bilbo simply shook his head, having taken an extra dose of aspirin to prepare for today, even smiling a bit despite himself.

“What do you think, Frodo? Any ideas?” Bilbo turned to his nephew. The others started chattering, and he couldn’t concentrate. So he pulled his nephew to the side, and they talked quietly. Soon enough they thought they had an answer. “It’s a river bank, not filled as high when it doesn’t rain! So we need to find a field of flowers by a river bank.”

Sam balked. “Pardon me, Mr. Bilbo sir, but there are fields of flowers by river banks all over this town, everywhere, I am sure.”

Gandalf nodded his head. “Yes Sam, yes indeed. For the board is set, the pieces are moving. We come to it at last, the great battle of our time.” Battle being a corporate scavenger hunt, of course. “And that is why we will split up into our teams, to walk the distance more effectively.”

The last addition to their team gestured in frustration, shaking his head with his hand to his brow. He was a representative of city hall, for Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton’s civic interests wanted to ensure they were represented during this event. “One does not simply walk all of this distance!”

Gandalf nodded. “Ah, Boromir, you have a good point. Options?”

They decided to let each team determine their travel strategy after their destinations were set. Tauriel, Kili, Fili headed to the gardens near her Tae Kwon Do studio, off the Anduin, near Shelob Avenue. Thranduil, Glóin, Óin, and Balin headed to the banks of the Anduin near the Khazâd-Dum Cave Tours. Sam and Frodo were tasked with searching the Barad-Dûr Hiking Trail near Mount Doom. Bilbo, Thorin, Nori, Dori and Ori headed to Trollshaw Park, to look at the flower fields there.

Legolas, Gimli, Aragorn and Dwalin, being the fastest on their feet, and in far better shape than the others, went to Vineyard Valley, to search the flower fields along the banks of the Brandywine River, for such a trip would need to be on foot and there was a lot of ground to cover.

Éowyn, Éomer and Merry headed to the Gladden Daisy Fields on the bank of the Anduin River. Boromir, Pippin, Bofur, Bifur and Bombur headed towards downtown. They would scour the gardens in the downtown core, particularly focusing on where the Brandywine flowed past City Hall, for there was a large flower field there that was most beautiful and well-known.

Gandalf wasn’t sure where to go, he couldn’t decide. So he flipped a coin, but that didn’t help. He decided he would start off with Bilbo’s team, and then switch later on.

 

 

 

 

Over on the AZOG side, solving of the same riddle was taking place. Their chief riddle generator, Sméagol, was tasked with generating the solution, and he used his long fingers to scratch his head, its three lone hairs meticulously held by a lot of hairspray in a comb-over that did little to hide his baldness. He tapped a pencil to his mouth, his extremely wide eyes looking at the sky thoughtfully, while he muttered to himself. “Hmm, eyes, hmmm, low, hmmm, that Bagginses, hmmmm.”

His twin brother, Gollum, went over to help. The Mouth of Sauron whispered to Annatar, CEO of AZOG, “I can’t get over how alike they look. Or their love for sushi. Why, I think they’d eat a raw fish straight out of the Anduin or Brandywine river! Whole, insides and all!” The Mouth made a face as though he would vomit, and then cackled at himself.

Annatar frowned. He didn’t like the Mouth talking in such close proximity to him, what with the halitosis and all. Why had the Mouth not used that generous gift card he had given him for the spa, salon and personal stylist? He sighed. Surrounded by a rag tag band, he was.

Sméagol spoke to Gollum, nervous at not being able to solve this riddle immediately, feeling unspoken pressure from those surrounding him. “Hmmm, precious! Hmmmm, Bagginses, why such riddles, Bagginses?”

“Gollum, Gollum.” Annatar frowned again, as the Mouth was commenting about the strange sounds produced whenever Sméagol’s twin brother cleared his throat. Annatar’s frown was directed as much towards Gollum as it was towards the Mouth, but in his politeness, he said nothing.

AZOG’s city hall representative, Denethor, spoke up. “Dark indeed is the hour if we cannot get going already!”

Saruman turned to him. “Do not worry, Denethor, we have only just begun, and our team is by far the strongest. It takes time to solve riddles, give him time and space.”

Denethor, and the rest of the team, were calmed by his words. Annatar, however, still didn’t like the white-clad priest.

Suddenly Sméagol squealed, making some of them jump. “Flowerses! Flowerses in a field, by a river! Yes, a river, precious, a river!”

The Goblin King, known for his fine costumes and more, his real name never used due to his fear of losing his hard-earned costume store persona, looked at Bolg and frowned, both thinking the same thing. Where on Arda did Annatar find this strange man and his identical twin brother? Oh well, at least he seemed to be good at these riddles. Neither dared say one negative thing, however, Annatar already sternly telling everyone that the two had vocal tics and he would stand for no amusement at their expense.

Their attention turned when Annatar Sauron spoke, his voice commanding, for he spoke only as needed and when it did it was with authority like no other. His beautiful face, framed by his light golden hair, was a stark contrast to the black clothes they all wore, excepting Saruman and Bolg, who dressed all in white. And Sméagol and Gollum, whose beige clothes with white belts made them look almost unclothed from a far enough distance, which the Goblin King found most amusing; he wouldn’t ever dare dress like that. Or would he?

Annatar Sauron’s decisiveness was clear. “Let’s break into our smaller teams, and search the flower fields by the rivers. Angmar, you take four of your people, go on motorbikes to search the Anduin near Shelob Avenue. Goblin King, go with your store employees to the wildflower fields off the Anduin, near the Khazâd-Dum cave tours. William, Bert and Tom, you will search Trollshaw Park, focusing on the area near the beech trees. Bolg, take Shagrat and search near the river by Laketown Estates, there are many flowers to be found there. Uglúk, take Grishnákh, Smeagol and Gollum to the Gladden Daisy Fields off the Anduin River.  Denethor, go with Saruman and Lurtz and search the downtown core.” He looked over to the Mouth of Sauron. “You and I will go and search the Barad-Dûr Hiking Trail near Mount Doom.”

Angmar nodded wordlessly. Sauron trusted his chief corporate officer fully, for he knew he took his tasks most seriously, and he thought Angmar’s location was the most likely one. He would trust the task to no other. Angmar beckoned his subordinates, who all seemed to look exactly like him, Angmar being distinguishable to those who did not know them by the gold chain and crown pendant he wore around his neck.

They all left in their groups, ready for their tasks, excited that the days they had planned so carefully for had finally arrived.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Aragorn, Gimli, Legolas and Dwalin somehow reached their destination first, being the fastest of the groups. It also didn’t help that the downtown team, consisting of Boromir, Pippin, Bofur, Bifur and Bombur, got stuck in a terrible traffic jam.

Aragorn was surprised that they made such good time, for he was nervous to be on a team with these two, worried that their dating would interfere with their progress. That was the sole reason he didn’t want to be on Éowyn’s team, after all. He had been surprised how forthright Legolas had been with Gimli over the past month, never having seen his friend act like this before. Gimli, he was someone to act amorous in public, but Legolas? Not so much. But that had changed since he started dating Gimli, who was so affectionate that Legolas may have had little choice. At least they had finally figured it out; he had figured it out long ago, after all.

In retrospect Aragorn knew he shouldn’t have worried about them being lost in one another’s eyes, but instead harming one another with their words.

It had all started with an innocent-enough comment Pippin made during the riddle-solving earlier in the morning. Pippin had been staring at Bilbo’s ring, which Bilbo didn’t seem to mind. Then Pippin turned to Legolas, asking him what type of ring he wanted to get when he married Gimli.  Legolas responded as others who knew him well would expect, that it was too fast for that, that he wasn’t quite sure, that he would probably like to be surprised if that ever happened, maybe with a platinum band.

And then Nori had shouted, in his overly forthright way, “Good idea Legolas, keep thinking about that and making a plan, getting married will keep him away from Éomer for sure! Won’t need to worry about them hooking up in a bar! If anyone could tie him down, you could!”

The silence that followed was most uncomfortable, and Nori stood there, not quite knowing what to say next. Éomer looked angry, as did Gimli, and Legolas looked confused.

And so it was that Aragorn and Dwalin found themselves in the midst of a heated conversation while they traversed Vineyard Valley on this first day of the scavenger hunt.

“Legolas, I don’t understand why you’re upset. It’s just Nori being Nori.”

“Gimli, he said in a bar. Hooking up in a bar. What was he talking about?” He said this grimly, curtly.

And when Aragorn looked away, not meeting his eye, Legolas grew angrier. “You know something too, Aragorn? Apparently everyone knows something that I don’t? What exactly does everyone know?”

Aragorn sighed. “You have to tell him Gimli. And then we need to go back to this scavenger hunt, we’re wasting valuable time.”

“Tell me what? And despite what you think, Aragorn, _I_ think knowing whatever is going on here is a _most_ valuable use of my time.”

Aragorn and Gimli stared at each other, eyes meeting in resignation, and then Gimli told Legolas what others seemed to know that he did not. “A week after the Feast of Starlight launch, when you were out of town, Aragorn, Éomer and I went out with Nori, Bofur and Pippin.” He sighed, wishing it had never happened, and wishing Nori would have just kept his mouth shut, not quite knowing how to say it. “I had a bit too much to drink, but not enough to forget it this time. I slept with him that night.”

This was certainly _not_ what Legolas expected to hear, and he stopped in his tracks. “What? You had sex with him, and everyone knows this but me?!”

“Harumph, well Legolas, I didn’t know it either.” Legolas turned to glare at Dwalin, but stopped when he saw the clear disapproval on the older man’s face.

“Legolas, we weren’t even dating then. And it didn’t mean anything. Just a stupid mistake. Both of us agree. We didn’t start dating again, it didn’t happen again.”

“Whatever, whatever. And he still lives with you and Éowyn?! I wanted to wait, give it some space, and that’s when I thought you had just kissed him, not had more of that mind-blowing sex with him! Why didn’t you tell me? And what did Nori mean, if anyone could tie you down, I could? What, do you not want to get married someday? Are you anti-marriage? Because it definitely stops right now, then; I can’t be with someone who doesn’t want to get married.”

Gimli was a bit flabbergasted, not knowing quite how to respond. “You never married Tauriel! And you were with her for what, eight years! We’ve just been dating for a month, it’s way too soon anyway!”

While Legolas agreed, because there was certainly no way he would marry someone after a month, at the same time it _hurt_ , for Tauriel was already married, and she had known Kili for two months, _two months_. And Bilbo and Thorin were on their way there, and it was the same thing, _two months_. How was their relationship any different? They had known each other the longest, after all. And so he said it, even though deep down he didn’t agree with rushing things either, but it still stung to hear Gimli’s words for some reason. “It didn’t matter for Tauriel and Kili. Or Bilbo and Thorin. Or Galadriel and Celeborn.”

And when he said the latter pair, he sort of wished he hadn’t, for he knew that would be hurtful.

Gimli bristled. “That’s not fair. Legolas, I wouldn’t be dating you if I thought I would never get married, I know it’s important to you.”

“Well what about you?”

“I don’t know, I haven’t thought about it. I’m not against it. It’s too soon to even be thinking about this!”

“You know, I don’t understand how I can go from feeling cherished one day, then the next, find out you slept with Éomer and everyone knows it! Except me. And you might consider getting married someday, if it’s important enough.” He said it sarcastically.

Aragorn rubbed his head, hoping that today’s scavenger hunt’s solution wasn’t one they would need to find, for it was going to be a long time before they moved. Dwalin sighed, wishing he had gone with any of the other teams instead.

At least the TLKN-network people had stopped filming early on and given them privacy, and Dwalin made sure the earlier portion of the tape was deleted. The TLKN-network people had no problem with that, for they wanted action and adventure for their documentary, not _this._

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Thranduil, Glóin, Óin, and Balin searched the banks of the Anduin near the Khazâd-Dum Cave Tours. Thranduil and Glóin felt awkward around one another, for the apparent strife between their sons was not conducive to teamwork, each feeling most protective of their offspring.

Frustration grew as they couldn’t find the scavenger hunt token. “I swear, that Goblin King over there, he is watching our every move.” Thranduil was growing irritated.

Glóin muttered under his breath. “Like Legolas watches Gimli’s every move.”

Thranduil frowned. “I hardly see how that has anything to do with this scavenger hunt. And I don’t know what you mean.”

Glóin put his hands in the air, signaling surrender. “I didn’t mean for you to hear that, I apologize.”

“But what did you mean?”

“I love Legolas, don’t get me wrong, but we all have our….weak spots… he’s always been sensitive, getting upset about things that might not get to the average person.”

Thranduil was annoyed. “I hardly think that getting upset about his boyfriend hooking up with someone is untoward.”

“But that’s a perfect example, they weren’t dating then, at least from what Nori said.”

Thranduil grew more annoyed. “You are aware that Legolas was having Gimli wait a bit, to make sure he wasn’t on the rebound? I hardly think what he did was appropriate in light of that.”

Balin interrupted, ever the most level-headed of the LM2 employees, wanting to calm things down. “They’ll figure it out themselves, they’re adults. Let’s get back to this.”

And they did, but their annoyance didn’t dissipate.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Bilbo, Thorin, Nori, Dori and Ori made relatively good time reaching Trollshaw Park, although Thorin was not happy to see that the opposing team was already there. And he wondered where Gandalf had gone, certain that the gray-clad man had planned to join their team first.

Thorin was even less happy when Bilbo and Ori introduced themselves to the AZOG team and started making small talk. The big men, William, Bert, and Tom, talked about how they were glad to be finally undercover beneath the canopy of beech trees, for the sun was much too hot for them today.

“It is pretty hot out today, I think the hottest day of the year so far.” Bilbo was thoughtful, and Ori nodded in agreement.

“Bilbo! Ori!” Thorin’s voiced boomed in his gruff manner. “Now is not the time to be making new friends; save it for the wrap party!”

Bilbo reluctantly moved away, as he was enjoying talking to these new people, and whispered to Thorin, “They’re looking in the shade, the riddle distinctly said it would be in the sun.” Thorin nodded, thankful for the observation, and whispered back, “Take Ori and look in the shady parts of the river bank, then, and we will go look in the sunny sections.”

And when William, Bert and Tom saw the splitting of the LM2 group, they got into a heated argument about where they should search, ending up not doing any searching whatsoever. And while the scavenger hunt solution ended up not being found here, it was one more piece of valuable information that Thorin filed in the back of his mind.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Angmar and his corporate officers arrived at the banks of the Anduin River, parking their motorbikes on Shelob Avenue. Angmar complained about the cost of the parking meters, and Fili, standing nearby, complained about the horrid smell of the motorbike’s fumes.

He turned to his brother. “They do not treat those bikes well. People like that shouldn’t be allowed to have bikes!”

Kili, however, wasn’t listening, being too busy kissing Tauriel. They were newlyweds, after all.

Angmar walked over to them, and spoke, his voice almost a low hiss. “Baggins? Are you Baggins?”

Fili shook his head. “No, I’m Fili. This is my brother Kili, and his wife Tauriel. You’ll have to excuse them, they just got married.”

Angmar nodded, but did not speak further. Then he motioned to his companions, and they began searching. Fili interrupted Kili, finding it difficult, as usual, to separate them, for all they seemed to do was stare into one another’s eyes. But once they got on task, they were focused, especially Tauriel, as she was most excited for this scavenger hunt and really wanted Thorin’s team to win.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

As Sam and Frodo approached the start of the Barad-Dûr Hiking Trail near Mount Doom, Sam stopped Frodo from going further. “Make no mistake, Frodo, that looks like The Mouth of Sauron and AZOG’s CEO. I reckon it will be hard to search without them seeing us and all?“

Sam’s words proved true, for the two friends were spotted immediately after that.

The Mouth hailed them. “Well hello there, scavenging competitors! And what brings you to this trail?” He cackled. Annatar Sauron glared at him, but The Mouth was used to those glares, so he ignored it. He was a PR person, after all, and it was his job to interact with others, even if they were on the opposing team.

He walked over to Sam and Frodo. “My friends call me The Mouth, but you can call me The Mouth of Sauron. And your names?”

They introduced themselves, Frodo being very polite, Sam looking very skeptical.

The Mouth touched Frodo’s shirt collar. “This is a really nice shirt, it almost looks like it’s made of silver. Where did you buy it?”

“The new store in the mall, MITHRIL. They have others in this same style, it’s a good store.”

The Mouth nodded thoughtfully. “I like it. And I like your style. And your shoes, I really like your shoes.”

Frodo kept nodding politely, and Sam looked increasingly concerned.

The Mouth kept talking. “Let’s walk together, it’ll be awhile until we’ll get to the floral fields anyway, and might as well travel together.”

Annatar Sauron had enough. “Stop it! This is a competition, not the start of a mixer! Let’s save the get-to-know-you stuff for later! Do all of you forget what is riding on this?” He stomped away, absolutely fed up.

The Mouth went to join him, but not before writing his number down on a piece of paper and handing it to Frodo.

Frodo looked at Sam, and Sam whispered to his friend, “Make no mistake, Frodo, he was definitely hitting on you, if you get my meaning. I don’t know if that’s such a good idea, he seems pretty weird and all. Although if he does take shopping advice from you, he might look better.”

Frodo almost gagged. He wasn’t one to judge based on appearances, but this time he did, and he felt a bit badly for it. He resolved to be nice to this guy, The Mouth, wondering if he was an aspiring rap artist with a name like that.

Sam added one more thing. “I don’t know if we should trust him, Frodo. I think you should be careful.”

Frodo nodded, but again resolved to try to be nice.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Back in Vineyard Valley, Legolas agreed to table his heated discussion with Gimli for later. Gimli had yelled, _screamed_ at him to stop, and it brought to the forefront every single insecurity he had ever felt about himself, from his decision to remain a virgin to the nagging doubt he was having (maybe there was more he didn’t know about, after all); Éomer living in Gimli’s house didn’t help with the latter at all. The tears pricked his eyes again, but he resolved to focus on the scavenger hunt, not talking to the others unless necessary, scouting ahead since he was the fastest one.

They traveled fast, making up for lost time with their swiftness, and soon they had covered the Valley, with no luck.

Aragorn had an idea. “Let’s try further down, my friends, by Laketown Estates. It’s good we’re traveling light, for there is more ground for us to cover today.”

When they reached Laketown Estates, they were displeased to see Bolg and Shagrat already there. Everyone was in a foul mood, and Legolas almost took it out on the other team, Aragorn needing to hold him back when Bolg insulted them.

It was turning out to be a long day indeed.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Denethor and Saruman searched the downtown core, with Boromir, Pippin, Bofur, Bifur and Bombur also looking in that vicinity. But neither team got much searching in, for they had been stuck in traffic, and then in the huge crowds for far too long. Neither had realized that today’s Mid-Year’s Day celebration would be so well-attended; it had never been well-attended before, after all.

At the same time, the Gladden Daisy Fields of the Anduin River became a center of activity.

Uglúk, Grishnákh, Sméagol and Gollum searched for the token. Sméagol was sharing recollections with Gollum, talking of the time they went boating with their cousin Déagol and he fell overboard, forever avoiding water travel thereafter. They were talking and searching when Sméagol found a brilliant white stone set in silver along the river bank.   Gollum stared at it, wanting it for himself, and Sméagol almost gave it to him, but then stuffed it in his pocket instead. Then Uglúk and Grishnákh offered them some _Orc Draught_ , and they drank some happily, turning to spit it out when they realized how terrible the taste was, not wanting to offend their teammates who seemed most proud of their selection.

At the same time, Éowyn, Éomer, and Merry were at the opposite end of the Gladden Daisy Fields, also talking while they searched for the token. “Éomer, what exactly happened with Gimli?”

“It was a one time thing, it doesn’t matter, we decided that we needed to move forward.” His face was grim as he focused on his searching.

“But what happened? It definitely sounded like you did more than kiss.”

Merry spoke up. “Éowyn, trust me, you don’t want to know.”

“So are Legolas and I the only ones who don’t know?”

Éomer glared at her. “It’s none of your business, Éowyn. Let’s just focus on finding the answer to the riddle, the token, whatever it’s called.”

She wasn’t quite finished, however. “Did you sleep with him? Are you sleeping with him now, while he’s dating Legolas?”

Éomer looked most offended. “Never! Look, I’ll tell you, and then I want you to drop it. We slept together once, about a week after you started dating Aragorn. He decided it was a mistake, I wanted us to try again, but he couldn’t get Legolas off his mind. Are you happy, Éowyn?”

And she most certainly was not happy.   “Éomer, I…”

But she was interrupted by a shout from Merry. “I found it! I found the token we are looking for!” It was a gold TLKN-network inscribed flower.

Uglúk, Grishnákh, Sméagol and Gollum were most certainly not very happy either, given this turn of events. And they knew Sauron would not be pleased. Sméagol, however, was greatly consoled by the wonderful gem that he had put in his pocket.

They all traveled back to TLKN-network headquarters, LM2 being most excited about their win, deciding to celebrate at the Prancing Pony.

“Gimli, let’s go, we’re leaving for the Prancing Pony! Drinks on the house!” Pippin was very excited, perhaps more excited than if he himself had found the token that represented the solution to today’s Scavenger Hunt riddle.

That was when Gimli, previously lost in his own excitement (and if he was honest, his admiration of Lúthien’s beauty as she wrapped up her segments) finally noticed that Legolas had disappeared. Gimli’s heart ached, for he knew he was in love with Legolas, and he wished he hadn’t yelled at him. Because if it was vice versa, would he have been able to just shrug off Legolas having sex with someone else, dating or not? While they had been _waiting_ to try dating?

“Pippin, I can’t. I have to go find Legolas.”

Pippin nodded, understanding completely, going to find Bofur, as he thought it would be fun to have him karaoke again. But he called back over his shoulder, “I think he said he was going to the sea, Gimli, to the Grey Havens Marina, to watch the seagulls.”

Glóin walked over, whispering to him. “What exactly happened, with Legolas, with Éomer?”

Gimli didn’t want to talk about it.

“Gimli, my lad, you aren’t…you don’t…” Gimli frowned at his father, wondering what he was trying to say. “Gimli, I’ll be blunt. Do you sleep around a lot? These past couple of months, things I’ve heard, you don’t seem very cautious in your affections.”

Gimli was aghast. “What is this, two things happen in the course of my entire life, and you think I’m a slut?!”

His father held up his hands, accepting the answer, and then patted him on the shoulder. “Go find Legolas, my lad, maybe Thranduil is right.”

And so he set off for the Grey Havens Marina, knowing what he needed to do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Not certain how well these things will be known, so am listing them here, had to look a lot of this up myself....)
> 
> Annatar = Annatar Sauron, Annatar being the fair form he assumed in the second age, when he convinced Celebrimbor to forge rings for him
> 
> William, Bert and Tom are the trolls from the Hobbit.
> 
> Uglúk was the Uruk-hai leader whose company captured Merry and Pippin at Amon Hen, trying to take them to Isengard.
> 
> Grishnákh was one of Sauron’s orcs who tried to take Merry and Pippin to Mordor (bookverse); in the movie he is one of the orcs thinking about eating the hobbits.
> 
> Shagrat was the Uruk in Cirith Ungol (movie-verse, he is an orc with blue paint on his face). He is the one who takes Frodo’s mithril shirt, Frodo’s elven cloak, and Sam’s sword to Barad-dûr (in turn used by the Mouth of Sauron as evidence of Frodo’s capture).
> 
> Lurtz is movie-verse only, the first Uruk-Hai created/born in Isengard. He is the one who kills Boromir in the movie.
> 
> Mid-Year’s Day = A hobbit celebration in June.
> 
> The stone Sméagol finds is Elendilmir = the Royal Gem of Arnor, a symbol of royalty, lost in the Disaster of the Gladden Fields at the same time as the One Ring. Described as a “white star of elvish crystal upon a fillet of mithril.” Saruman found it and kept it in Orthanc; Elessar found it in Orthanc when they worked on its restoration.


	7. Riddles in the dark….or more correctly about the dark…

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After LM2 wins the first round of the Scavenger Hunt, Thorin’s team heads to the Prancing Pony to celebrate. Thorin and Thranduil are interested in sponsoring Bofur and Bifur’s suggested business venture. Bilbo enjoys his new friendships, Frodo can’t escape the Mouth of Sauron, and Angmar has several propositions that would expand AZOG’s business empire. Instead of finding Legolas at the Grey Havens Marina, Gimli runs into not one but two old flames at the BALROG bbq pit. The next day, the scavenger hunt focuses on a tough-to-decipher riddle, and Sauron has an initial advantage in its unraveling.

The _Prancing Pony_ was packed, having quickly become a favorite of the locals in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton; the suppers and dinners crowd was out in full force. Bofur and Bifur arrived a bit late. Bofur, in his ever-exuberant manner was even happier than normal as a result of the day’s scavenger hunt win, and he had dragged his less enthusiastic cousin into the _Mallorn Wooden Toys_ shop next door. The cousins shared a love of toys and Bofur was taken by a sudden whim, proposing that they open their own toy store one day, taking cues from Kili and Fili’s miniature golf venture and Merry and Pippin’s restaurant success.  Then they joked about how it would take a windfall to do that and was probably impossible. After all, it wasn’t like this scavenger hunt was akin to being on a quest to slay a dragon and taking their share of an enormous treasure!

“Merry!” Bofur yelled as soon as he spotted his friend near the host’s table in the Prancing Pony’s large waiting area. “I heard the beer is free tonight!” He grabbed the token-finder across the shoulders in a congratulatory manner.

“Absolutely! As many pints as you want!” Merry led them to the large table where the LM2 team was seated.

Bofur was in a joyous mood, and couldn’t help discuss his unlikely dream. “I might be your next door neighbor someday, Merry!”

Merry chuckled, once again happy to have made this new friend. “There aren’t any openings in my apartment building right now, but I can tell the landlord you’re interested!"

Bofur sat down beside Ori, leaning back in his chair and drinking the ale Merry passed to him in one long draught. Merry was impressed. “I haven’t seen you drink that quickly before!”

“No drinking contests for me though, my friend.” He chuckled, referencing Gimli and Legolas’ recent battle at Kili and Fili's party. “Where are they anyway? And Gandalf and Éomer? I haven’t seen Gandalf since this morning, come to think of it.”

Pippin told him that Gimli and Legolas had gone to the Grey Havens Marina, and that he wasn’t sure where the other two were. And then Bofur returned to his previous musings about the toy store. “So Merry, as much as I’d love to move and be your next door neighbor, I meant the toy store next door.”

They talked for awhile about investors and small businesses, Fili switching places with Ori to join the conversation, the talk continuing to flow without much interruption even after they started eating ravenously from the enormous plates of assorted appetizers that were soon served; small pot pies, scones, stuffed mushrooms, honey and seed cakes, fruit and vegetable platters, and more.

Soon enough FIli called for his uncle, against Bofur’s protests. “Uncle Thorin! Bofur needs an investor!” Thorin was interested, as was Thranduil, and they both moved down the table to talk about Bofur’s vague-yet-passionate ideas.

This left Bilbo and Thranduil’s wife, Gwíneth, to continue chatting at the end of the large oak table.

“So Bilbo, Legolas told me that you had a huge party, and that’s how you met Thorin?”

Bilbo both smiled and shuddered in recollection. “It was an unexpected party. I still don’t quite understand how it came about.” And if he was honest, it still gave him a bit of a headache when he thought about it.

She smiled. “Sometimes those can be the most fun, if they’re wanted, of course, and it seems like yours was not. If you'd like, I’d be happy to help you plan your wedding. Thranduil likes you quite a bit, and Legolas and Gimli adore you. We’d do it for free. I know it’s early to be thinking about it, and I imagine after that party you had another one is the last thing on your mind, but my help might make it less stressful.” She smiled widely, and Bilbo was struck both by her kindness and her beauty.

“I’m flattered.” And he was. “I would really enjoy that, I think.” Then he whispered to her, “Do people typically start planning already? I’ve just gotten engaged!”

She nodded. “Sometimes. But you don’t need to, take your time. Enjoy your engagement! It’s a precious time.” Her face became even warmer as she thought of his happiness, as well as reflecting on her own, her mind filling with memories of Thranduil's proposal three decades ago.

Then her expression became a bit serious. “Just don’t take your honeymoon flight on the Smaug Express; I’ve heard from too many couples after their honeymoons…” She didn’t say anything further, simply shaking her head in a mixture of disbelief and irritation.  

Nori, Ori, and Glóin overheard, and couldn’t resist retelling their own flight horror stories. Then they began discussing late summer travel plans.

Glóin asked the small group about options. “Does Great Eagle fly to the Blue Mountains? I much prefer them, but their destinations and flight schedules are so limited. I might just have to take the Smaug Express.”

Bilbo shook his head, exasperated by the thought. “I’m never flying on Smaug ever again. Even if they offered me free flights for life.”

Ori stood up in his excitement. “Well, after this competition, let’s think of a way to give them a taste of their own medicine. Right up their Jackson!”

Aragorn, seated nearby, couldn’t resist jumping in. “What are you talking about? I’ve never heard that phrase before.”

“You know,” Ori sat down and talked a bit more calmly, suddenly feeling a bit embarrassed at his previous enthusiasm. “Tell them to shove it, basically…”

The scruffily-handsome dark-haired man nodded at the blond-haired one. “So are you seriously thinking about a second scavenger hunt? Against Smaug?” None of them were sure, it was happening a bit too quickly. “Well if you do, I’m in. I like adventures, that seems like a good one.”

The conversation died down to normal levels again, returning to summer travel plans, and Éowyn, sitting beside Aragorn, was annoyed, not able to resist saying what was on her mind any longer.

“Why didn’t you tell me what happened with Gimli and Éomer? I can’t believe you were there and didn’t let me know.”

Aragorn sighed, knowing that this conversation was coming, and wishing it wasn’t. He grabbed her hand and kissed her on the cheek, which seemed to make her even more annoyed, as though she was frustrated by his attempts to smooth this over. “I’m sorry. I didn’t feel it was my place to say something.”

“How could you keep it from Legolas?” She still couldn’t understand this and the secrecy surrounding it.

“Again, not my place. And it’s not like they were dating at the time.”

“But they were waiting to, Aragorn! At least Legolas was. Who knows now about Gimli. I can’t believe Gimli did that." 

“Well, he didn’t do it by himself. And obviously it didn’t matter, nothing came of it.”

She glared at him. And then something grew around her heart that she didn’t like, something darker, but she couldn’t resist saying it. “And is that how you see us? Since you’re taking a break from Arwen? That it doesn’t matter?” 

Aragorn was both offended and hurt by her comment. “Éowyn, it’s not the same at all. They had a one-night stand! We aren’t. Why would you even say that?” 

“What if Arwen wants you back?”

“Éowyn, I’ve told you before, we aren’t on a break, we broke up. It’s over. Finished. Ended. She’s overseas now, who even knows if she’ll ever come back. And if she did, I’m not going to break up with you at the drop of a hat and go back to her.”

Aragorn meant this, and he kissed her thoroughly at the table to prove it.

 

Beside them, Frodo and Sam were talking about what to order to eat, each feeling completely ravenous from the day’s events and deciding they would pack more snacks tomorrow. The appetizers that had floated around the table, while enormous in portions, seemed to only take the edge off their appetites. They each felt like they had been on the Barad-Dûr Hiking Trail near Mount Doom with only L.E.M.B.A.S. freeze-dried foods for a month, not a day.

Frodo looked up from his reading of the menu just in time to see the older gray-haired man enter the restaurant. “Gandalf! Where were you today?” Frodo waved, very happy to see him.

“Ah, dear Frodo, I had some business to attend to. I promise I will be at your side tomorrow.”

Frodo frowned, mainly because he didn’t understand what sort of business Gandalf would have that could take him away from the Scavenger Hunt he had played a key role in organizing. And then Frodo frowned some more, because the next person to walk through the front doors was the Mouth of Sauron. 

He nudged Sam, discreetly nodding towards AZOG’s head PR person and his teammate, Angmar. “Look, what are the chances of that?”

Sam groaned, certain that the Mouth would head their way as soon as they were spotted. And he was right. He made a beeline for their table, Angmar glowering behind him.

“Frodo! Fancy seeing you here.” The Mouth tilted his head this way and that, and then cackled. It would have been humorous, had it not been so off-putting.

Frodo sighed inwardly. This guy was so odd. And it didn’t help that his hygiene was….poor. But he had resolved to be nice to him, and he would be. He decided to make some small talk, hoping that the Mouth would get bored and leave. “It was a good competition today.”

“It certainly was. I hope we’ll cross paths tomorrow.” He leaned in towards Frodo. “Too bad we aren’t on the same team.”

“Hmm.” Frodo nodded slightly and raised his eyebrows a bit, not wanting to agree with words. Sam looked a bit annoyed; he obviously didn’t care for the Mouth at all.

Angmar frowned and looked at Frodo closely. “Baggins? Are you Baggins?”

“Yes, I am. Frodo Baggins. And your name is…?” Frodo was feeling a bit uncomfortable, as the black-clad man with the gold chain and crown pendant had basically hissed his question, and he seemed quite intimidating. At least with the Mouth, it seemed like what you saw was what you got. Mostly. Somewhat. Well, who knew for sure, but he seemed like he was probably harmless. Angmar on the other hand was a different sort of person. Intimidating. Almost villainous.

Pippin came over to that side of the table then, and ever the helpful restaurant and bar owner, invited the Mouth of Sauron and Angmar to make themselves welcome, gesturing to an empty table and handing them menus. And the Mouth decided to sit right beside Frodo, which hadn’t been what Pippin intended. Yet, Frodo had still resolved to be nice.

But then they were interrupted, for the Mouth of Sauron saw another of his teammates walk through the door, and in his extraverted manner called for him to join them.

Frodo groaned. It was Sméagol. He’d heard enough of the bald man’s antics from Bilbo, when they’d had their property dispute.

Angmar frowned at the menu. He didn’t eat much, and the Mouth of Sauron thought that he seemed to live on air at times.

“I don’t care for mushrooms. It seems there are a lot of mushrooms on this menu. And potatoes.”

Sam was a bit flustered; these were his favorite things, after all. “Mushrooms, taters, what’s better than that?”

Sméagol’s confusion was written all over his face, his eyes wide. He didn’t understand Sam’s slang words. “I think I’ll have the fish; it looks juicy and sweet. But what’s taters, precious?”

Frodo and Sam shared a rolling of their eyes. This was going to be a _long, long_ night.

Angmar looked down the table, recognizing Fili from earlier today, and moved into the empty chair beside him. The corporate officer who always dressed in black looked pointedly at the blond-haired younger man. “Kili? You’re Kili?”

“No, I’m Fili. That’s Kili over there, at the bar, with his new wife, Tauriel. I introduced you to them today, but it’s easy to forget.” He sighed because they were kissing again, and he was really starting to feel like the third wheel, even amidst all of these other people. It wasn’t easy to spend all of your time with your brother, and then be faced with his sudden marriage, sharing your joint house with his new wife. He couldn’t decide what would be worse, them staying or moving out. Well, at least he was trying to spend more time with Bofur and Merry and Pippin…

Angmar interrupted Fili’s thoughts. “And you own the miniature golf course? Longbeard’s?”

“Yes, we do, my brother and I.”

“My CEO, Annatar Sauron, he would like to buy it from you. He admires that course, thinks it is well designed, and he wants to add it to his business empire, the entertainment arm.” Angmar quoted a price that was less than half their start-up costs.

“I’d have to talk to my brother about it, but at that price, we would say no; it’s worth far more than that.”

Angmar nodded silently, not pleased with the answer. “I will talk to Sauron, then, and let you know if he is willing to negotiate.”

This confused Fili; _willing_ to negotiate? Shouldn’t _they_ be the ones for whom the willingness to negotiate would be in question? He didn’t say anything, though; all of the AZOG empire people seemed a bit strange in different ways, and that could very well account for Angmar’s strange mannerisms and even stranger interpersonal manner and way of discussing things.

Angmar continued. “And this restaurant? Your teammates own it, correct?”

Fili nodded.

“Sauron wants to buy it for AZOG as well. Where are they? I would like to discuss it with them; he would pay a good price for the Prancing Pony.”

Fili thought about not pointing them out, saying that they weren’t here, as Angmar seemed a bit sketchy and avoiding him entirely might be the best course of action. But he needn’t have thought about this at all, as Farmer Maggot was sitting on a barstool nearby and eavesdropping on their conversation. “They aren’t at the table. They’re that way, under the _Hobbiton_ sign.”

Fili shook his head in disbelief. _Why_ could people not mind their own business? It didn't seem to matter, as Merry and Pippin had obviously told Angmar a firm _no_ as soon as he broached the question, but _still._

 

Back down the table, Bilbo was still talking about summer travel plans, weddings and a possible Smaug Airlines competition when he noticed Sméagol sitting down by Frodo and Sam. He tensed, and Thorin, still seated away from his beloved down the table, noticed. He knew that Bilbo was trying to put the past behind him, start anew, trying to forget about their previous dispute over property and the stalking that had essentially ensued. Nonetheless, he felt protective, wanting to make sure this was ok with his fiancé. Besides, why would members of the opposite team want to be at their celebration anyway? He walked back over to Bilbo and pulled up a chair beside him. “Bilbo,” he whispered after kissing him briefly, making Bilbo’s heart flutter, “do you want me to ask him to leave?”

Bilbo considered, unsure of what he wanted to do, and then sighed. “No, leave him be. It’s been a long time, I should give him a chance.” He studied the bald man with the horrible comb-over, and shook his head. “I pity him, I suppose. No, let him stay.” 

Thorin nodded, respecting Bilbo’s decision, but kept his eye on Sméagol the entire night and his arm around Bilbo, almost scowling, wanting to ensure nothing untoward happened, for he was extremely protective. Bilbo hadn’t seen much evidence of Thorin’s temper yet, just his grumpiness, but he had heard some stories about it, and someone threatening his loved ones would certainly bring it to the forefront.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

  

Gimli pulled into one of the parking lots at the Grey Havens Marina, not even sure where to start looking for Legolas. The short ginger-haired man had forgotten how huge the place was; the different docks and piers, the boardwalk, the beach areas, the boat shop…. After he spent awhile walking around with no luck, he circled back to his SUV and studied a map on his smartphone, wanting to think some more about where Legolas was likely to be. Legolas hadn’t responded to his texts or calls, but he wasn’t surprised at all by that. In that way, Legolas was the opposite of Éomer; he would clam up sometimes when he got upset, residual effects of the problems his family used to have discussing feelings and the difficult topics that brought them to the surface.

“Excuse me, young man.” Gimli’s trek back to his SUV was interrupted by an older man with a neatly trimmed beard seated on a wooden bench near the Mithlond Pier. He looked like Gandalf sometimes did, in that he seemed to be wise far beyond his older years. “You look lost. Do you need help?”

“Oh, I’m good. Thanks.” He started to walk away, and then changed his mind. “Actually, have you seen a tall thin blond here? Same age as me, but looks a bit younger? Would have arrived about an hour ago?”

The man considered it, and then a flicker of recollection came to him.   “Yes, I did. Went to the Forlond Pier, that way.” He pointed north.

Gimli thanked him, and then commented on the blueprints the man was holding on his lap. “Are those boats?”

“Yes, I build them. Well, I used to. Now I just design them and others build them.”

Gimli was interested in this; crafting and building were two of his favorite hobbies, and Legolas had said he had wanted to build his own boat someday, which Gimli thought was _just a bit_ out of reach. “Say, if someone had little boat-building experience, how hard would it be to build one?”

The man laughed. “That would be a tall order! Have you built anything similar before?”

“Oh no, it’s a friend of mine who’s interested, the friend I’m looking for.”

“Well, you could definitely commission something. Or if you really want to build one, it would be basic, but I can give you some advice. Look me up if it gets to that point.” He gave Gimli his business card, _Cirdan’s Boat & Marine._

Gimli shook his hand, and the older bearded man added one more thing. “Say, when you get to the Forlond Pier, stop at the Lindon Management Company building. The owner, Gil-Galad, he might be able to help you find your friend. He tends to know a lot about everything that goes on here.”

Gimli nodded, grateful for the help.

Gil-Galad had indeed seen a tall thin blonde walk by an hour or so ago, going into the new bbq restaurant BALROG. 

And then Gimli realized he should have said he was looking for a guy, because when he walked into BALROG he immediately saw a tall thin person with golden hair--Galadriel. Although that may not have mattered, since she was with Éomer, and although he was blond he was quite muscular, not thin per se….He tried to see if he could spot Legolas without them seeing him, but no such luck, and they waved him over to their table.

This day was just getting better and better. Well, at least he was on good terms with both of them now; it had been so long since he’d seen Galadriel, it didn’t hurt like it used to, and he and Éomer had resolved to be friends.

“Galadriel, Éomer, I didn’t expect to see you here.”

Galadriel smiled. “I haven’t seen you for such a long time. And I hear you’re dating Legolas now.”

“Yes, I’m actually looking for him; have you seen him?”

Éomer leaned forward, his expression serious. “Gimli, I told you that you should have told him that we had sex. Galadriel agrees with me.”

A frown grew across Gimli’s face; they were having dinner to talk about him? He asked them as much, and they nodded. “Um, I wasn’t expecting you to be so honest about that, though I’m not surprised. I’m tempted to ask what you’ve been talking about specifically, but even though it’s about me, it’s not really my business, and besides, I really need to find Legolas.”

Galadriel pulled out a chair and motioned for him to sit down. “Gimli, finding him at this Marina would be like trying to find a needle in a haystack. Unless you have a lead, it will be next to impossible. There are too many places that he could be.”

He sighed; he knew this was true. And the only lead he had—well, that had led him _here_.

“Do you want our advice?” She looked at him in a way that was both kind and serious. 

“Not yet, I think. But if I change my mind I’ll let you know.” It made him feel a bit uncomfortable, a bit cruel even, especially since Éomer had wanted to try again not so long ago; he wanted to respect him and talk about this as little as possible. Both of his exes were very direct, and Éomer was very practical, much like Gimli himself was. These were things he appreciated about both of them, even if it led to explosive arguments with Éomer sometimes.

“So tell me about this scavenger hunt of yours, both of you. It’s intriguing.” Galadriel leaned back and smiled, her face calm and serene, and Gimli couldn’t help but stare at her. Her beauty seemed to just grow as she got older, yet she still seemed somewhat ageless.

Gimli and Éomer talked about the day's events, from the strangeness of the riddle to the even-stranger competitors. “At least the TLKN-network stopped taping when things got a bit too personal.” Gimli’s tone was rueful, and Galadriel nodded knowingly. She knew what he spoke of, as did Éomer, but even when things were less obvious she had a talent for reading beneath the surface. When they had been dating, sometimes he felt as if she could read his mind. 

“Speaking of the TLKN-network, look who’s here.” Éomer nodded towards the large archway that marked the entrance to BALROG, a door of clever design with intricate carvings that had been commissioned from Narvi’s Doors and More. It was Beren and Lúthien and they inadvertently caused a commotion, having decided they were in the mood for the fire-warmed and grilled options at BALROG and sitting a few tables down from Gimli and his old flames.

Both Galadriel and Gimli couldn’t stop staring; Éomer noticed this, and told Galadriel she should go get her picture taken. “Oh, I can’t. That would be rude, to interrupt their dinner. But I do need to call Celeborn, he’s probably done work by now and I should let him know that we met for drinks and dinner. I’ll be back in a bit.” She went in search of the restrooms first, and Gimli and Éomer were left together in a semi-awkward silence.  They still lived at the house Gimli and Éowyn shared. Éomer was still working on finding a place to live, as the housing market in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton was competitive, and while things between the former lovers had been cordial and pleasant, they didn’t spend much time together.

“So, how’s the house-hunting going?” 

Éomer leaned back, taking a drink of his beer, still wishing things had gone a different direction with Gimli but doing his best to put it behind him. “Not bad. I found another house on Meduseld that I’m going to make an offer on.” He put the glass down, and leaned forward again, wanting to do the right thing and tell Gimli a bit of what he had been discussing with Galadriel earlier. “Gimli, I know you don’t want my advice, but you really need to be more honest with Legolas.”

“What do you mean?”

“I think you need to tell him the truth. You know you’re still attracted to me, you told me yourself, and you need to tell him that if you want him to trust you. If you keep more things from him, you’ll just lose him. He’ll figure it out.”

“I will definitely not tell him that! He would dump me faster than…I don’t know, what’s something a person dumps fast? Look what happened today!”

“That’s only because you didn’t tell him, and he found out. It might have been different if you had just told him when it happened.”

Gimli laughed. “I can just imagine that! Hi Legolas, how’s your conference, only 3 weeks until we start dating, I’m excited, by the way I slept with Éomer last night.” And he thought it was so ridiculous he couldn’t stop laughing.

Éomer started laughing too. “When you put it like that, it does seem stupid.” Soon enough both of them had tears rolling down their cheeks from laughing so hard.

Then Éomer grew more serious. "Gimli, my offer still stands. If it doesn't work out with Legolas, I want to try again. And I think you would too." He put his hand over Gimli's, and for a moment Gimli sat there, knowing that Éomer was right; if it didn't work out with Legolas, he probably would want to at least try again with Éomer. But discussing it like this didn't feel fair to either Legolas or Éomer, and it didn't matter. It was Legolas he was in love with, not Éomer. He told Éomer that, knowing that his temporary roommate needed to hear it again, hoping that he would finally understand and try to move on. 

And it was most unfortunate that Legolas saw them together, at the very moment they had been laughing so freely, seeming to be happy and carefree (and in the very back of his mind a brief piece of him wondered exactly what they were laughing about, for a split second hoping it had nothing to do with him). Gil-Galad had stopped him when he walked by the Lindon Management Company building, realizing that this tall blond fit the clothing description Gimli had provided better than the other people he had been thinking of. Legolas obviously knew who Gil-Galad was talking about, this short ginger-haired man, and Gil-Galad told him he was likely near the BALROG bbq pit, since he hadn’t seen him come back from that end of the pier yet.

Legolas left as soon as he saw Éomer grab Gimli's hand, thinking about going to see his Adar and Naneth, but then deciding not to. Stressful situations like this made it hard for him to communicate, and he told himself he couldn’t just rush to them every time he had a problem. But if he was honest, he knew he felt foolish discussing it, embarrassed beyond words, humiliated. And seeing Gimli and Éomer having drinks together…He knew there might potentially be an understandable reason behind it, but then again there might not. Ultimately, he wasn’t sure he trusted Gimli anymore. So he decided he would try to talk to Gimli about it later. Instead of going home, he went to Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton University’s astronomy field station outside of town, not far from Farmer Maggot’s fields, settling himself into aimlessness amidst his piles of work, finding some consolation in leisurely study of the stars for the night.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

The next morning, the teams arrived early to the TLKN-network headquarters, Thorin’s ready to add to their winning tally, Sauron’s ready to avenge yesterday’s loss. They opened the clue at the opposite ends of the field, as they had the day before.

Thorin was more annoyed than he was yesterday, sighing and rolling his eyes in frustration. “What the fuck is this crap?   Embroidery patterns created by Sauron’s grandmother?”

Gandalf looked at him with serious eyes. “Thorin, you don’t need to get so riled up. It is simply a clue for us to unravel.”

“Fuck, Gandalf, your words are prettier than this pattern!” Thorin’s frustrated tone suggested that he didn’t _quite_ mean what he said in a nice way.

“Well,” said Bilbo, pointedly ignoring his beloved’s outburst, thinking this might be a new strategy to try, “where should we begin? Hard to say what this is supposed to be, I wasn’t expecting a clue like this.” Deep down Bilbo was nervous, worried that Sméagol had outsmarted him tremendously this time.

Ori grabbed the paper, turning it this way and that. “I wonder if we need to read it backwards? Maybe it’s fancy font that’s disguising the riddle?”

Pippin and Bofur were whispering in each others’ ears, and came up with a different idea. “What about a secret message? Like when we were kids? Each letter matches a number? Or represents a different letter?”

That seemed like a possibility, so they set to work in pairs, trying to decode the message. Some of the teams worked diligently, while others were being silly more than anything else, but all had the team’s goal in mind, and sharp words from Gandalf or Thorin were enough to get people who strayed from the task back on it. 

Legolas sat at the edge of the group, drawing his knees up to his chest, pretending to work on deciphering the message. His heart wasn’t really in it, and he stared at the paper without seeing it at all. He hadn’t slept last night, not that he ever slept much, but he felt more tired than he had in a long time. He stole quick glances in Gimli’s direction, a combination of longing and hurt stewing with simmering anger in his sapphire eyes. His Adar had approached him, asking if he would like to talk, and Legolas told him he probably should, but after today’s riddle had been solved; he wanted to try to clear his mind of distracting thoughts and focus on today’s goal.

Gimli wasn’t sure what to do; Legolas was making it clear he wanted to be alone, but at the same time he knew that the tall blond sometimes needed prodding to talk. This didn’t seem to be a good time or place for it, though. So instead he walked over to Thorin and Gandalf, telling them he wanted to make sure he was on Legolas’ team today. Thorin readily agreed, but Gandalf was a bit wary, and pulled him aside to talk further.

“Gimli, I know that you care for Legolas, and I truly believe you are good for him. But there is a delicate balance with him, pushing him a bit too quickly may not be ideal, especially given how you view certain romantic matters so differently. I would counsel that you leave him be for today, and I will let him know that you have approached me for advice. I have your interests at heart as well as his; I would like to see this relationship succeed. But trust needs to be earned, not pushed for. There is no rush here, it does not need to be solved today. In fact, I think it would be best if it wasn’t broached at all until this evening.” 

This went against everything Gimli’s heart was telling him to do. They wouldn’t even been dating if he hadn’t been forward in the beginning, when he first realized he had grown to be attracted to Legolas without realizing it until Éomer had pointed it out and Gimli had then given Legolas the kissing wager. “I don’t think I can, Gandalf. I need to rectify this. Even my father thinks I owe him a big apology; I understand everything you’re saying, but I can’t just stand here and pretend like everything is fine.”

Gandalf sighed, and drew out his pipe. “I will ensure you are on the same team, then, but I will ask you this: Please do not repeat the strife of yesterday. If he loses his temper or acts coldy, do not escalate the situation. Try to remain calm, level-headed; remember that first and foremost he is your dear friend.”

Gimli nodded, and went to study the clue.

About twenty minutes after that, Gimli had enough of trying to decipher the message, and everyone else seemed to be of similar minds, beginning to give up in frustration.

Gandalf paced, smoking his pipe furiously. “I think it must be an ancient script. I can’t think of any other possibility. Let’s break up into teams, one going to the Library of Elros, the library Elrond Peredhel donated in his brother’s memory, another to the Minas Tirith Archives, and the rest of us to the Linguistics Library at Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton University.”

That seemed like an idea, and they needed one, because everyone was at a loss otherwise.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

On the AZOG side, the clue was opened by Sméagol’s shaking fingers. He felt pressure to answer it quickly and get his team moving, especially since they had lost yesterday. His heart jumped into his throat as soon as he read it. He truly had no idea what it meant. “Bagginses, why this, Bagginses? Why does Bagginses do this to Sméagol?”

Annatar Sauron looked at him intently, concerned about the bald-headed man and his mumbled, confusing utterings. “Are you ok, Sméagol?”

“Yes, yes.” He whispered, his eyes moving quickly and nervously. He took out his pencil, tapping it on his head, and then ran his fingers through his comb- over, absentmindedly disturbing his meticulously hairsprayed three hairs.  “No!” He squealed when he realized what he had done.

The Mouth of Sauron tilted his head and gazed at the trembling man, then put a hand on his shoulder. “Sméagol, you’re way too stressed out. You need to relax. Calm down. You can fix your hair later.” He didn’t understand why Sméagol was getting so bent out of shape; he never really understood why anyone got bent out of shape over their appearance, after all.

Sméagol grabbed the gem he had found yesterday, the white stone set in silver, and clenched it within his left palm; it did help him to feel better. Sauron wondered what he had in his hand, but the thought left him when he decided he had to focus on the mission at hand. He motioned to Angmar, who took the clue from Sméagol. The black-clad man with the crown pendant necklace handed it wordlessly to his CEO, who instantly knew what language it was written in.

“Ah, I would never have thought to see something like this in the scavenger hunt. But I am not skilled enough to read it. Saruman, Nec. R. O. Mancer, can either of you read Tengwar?” When they shook their heads no, Sauron decided that he, Saruman and Angmar would take separate groups of team members to the town’s main libraries. He gave them instructions on what to look for, and they sped off.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Angmar took five corporate officers, the Goblin King and his three store employees, and William, Bert and Tom to the Linguistics Library at Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton University. It was by far the largest of the library collections that they would need to search, and they took the biggest team with them. Sauron hadn’t been certain, but suspected that once they translated the phrase, they might need to search for specific passages within specific books at the library, and to do that at this huge one, they would need many hands to help them.

Thorin had the same idea, though not nearly as well formed, and had also brought a good portion of his team, including Fili, Kili, Nori, Dori, Ori, Glóin, Óin, Bifur, Bofur, Bombur, Dwalin and Balin. When the LM2 team arrived, they were almost disheartened to see that Angmar and his cohort seemed to have had a good jump start, but Bofur, Kili and Fili were able to lighten the mood quickly with optimistic comments and rallied the team. They worked together well, and joked that they should work together tomorrow as well, even giving themselves a name, “Thorin’s Company.”

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Sauron, the Mouth of Sauron, Bolg, Shagrat, Nec. R. O. Mancer, and three of Angmar’s corporate officers arrived at Elros’ Library, the namesake archive that Elrond Peredhel had commissioned in honor of his deceased twin brother. They set to work quickly in the ancient languages and historical sections. Elrond had a love of literature and books of all sorts, and the collection here was massive, almost as big as the one at the University’s Linguistics Library.

Aragorn and his teammates, including Boromir, Pippin, Merry, Legolas, Gimli, Sam, and Frodo, walked through the intricately carved front doors of the library. Aragorn rolled his eyes when he saw Sauron already there. He knew Elrond well, the physician-turned hotel owner was Arwen’s father, after all. He doubted most of his teammates knew that Elrond had basically been a father to him growing up…and as he thought this, staring at the portrait of Elros that looked so much like Elrond, he remembered an old children’s tale the Rivendell Grand Hotel owner used to tell him. A story that had writing like the clue's script. He couldn’t remember much more than that, and as a result they would need to divide and conquer.

“Come,” he told his teammates and pulled them to the side, glad that things were running more smoothly today than they had yesterday when Gimli and Legolas had been arguing. Today Legolas seemed very cool towards Gimli, but it was much preferred to fighting, and he was secretly glad that Gimli followed Legolas’ cues and hadn’t tried to fix things between them thus far. “Gimli, take Merry and Pippin and search the computers for these books.” He quickly jotted down some titles, and passed the list to Gimli. He thought about sending Legolas along, to try to help them overcome the coldness that Legolas clearly exhibited towards his boyfriend, but thought against it, deciding that would be better left for later. “Boromir, take Sam and Frodo and go look for these books for me, but be stealthy.” Aragorn was glad to see his team’s efficiency, deciding that they were gelling together quite well. He turned to Legolas, having decided the tall blond was the best-suited to be unobtrusive and help him with his own task. “Legolas, come with me, and let’s be quick, I don’t want them to see where we go.”

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

At the Minas Tirith Archives, Gandalf was unhappy to see that Saurman had already arrived, and had obviously been there for awhile. He gave Éowyn, Éomer, Thranduil, Tauriel, and Bilbo specific tasks, and they set to work quickly.

Saruman looked up from his table, where Denethor, Sméagol, Gollum, Uglúk and Grishnákh were working furiously, and smirked. He beckoned Gandalf to come over. “The hour grows late, and Gandalf, dressed in grey, seeks my counsel, do you not, my old friend?”

Gandalf was not one to take such bait, and sent a nice, fake smile Saruman’s way. But the smile wasn’t entirely fake, since he was secretly glad for the unanticipated consequence of Saruman’s jibe. Gandalf had a clear view of what they were working on and it gave him some ideas of his own. He took his team to a table across the room, and they set to work.

  

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

  

Sauron was the first to make the translation, although Gandalf and Aragorn followed relatively close behind, trailing by only a half an hour or so, a good showing considering the initial advantage Sauron had in recognizing the language the clue was written in.

Gandalf was the first to call Thorin, with Aragorn joining via conference call soon afterward, and everyone contributed via speakerphone. The gray-clad, gray-haired man spoke the translation. “One ring to rule them all, One ring to find them; One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.” Aragorn agreed completely with the translation as his team had come to the same conclusion, and they all felt confident that they had solved this initial part.

Thorin was no happier about this than he had been with either of the initial clues thus far, but at least they had a translation. Now they had to set about trying to figure out what it referred to.

Aragorn talked of the children’s tale that had led him to figure out the translation; the story itself didn’t seem to be much help, however, as the words in it had been different. It had only helped his team to determine the language they needed to investigate.

“We should go to look at rings. At Celebrimbor & Co. to start with.” Thorin thought the answer was obvious.

Bilbo disagreed. “I suppose the “one” could mean that rings represent binding, ruling hearts, all of that, but marriage isn’t about darkness. At least for most people, I suppose. I hope.”

“Superbowl rings maybe? They play those games at night, bind all of those champions together?” Boromir thought it was a passable idea, and others thought so too.

Bofur had an idea also. “What about other kinds of rings? Circus rings?” 

“Smoke rings.” Pippin’s idea, and he just happened to blow a few as examples.

“Martial arts rings. Karate. Tae Kwon Do. Even boxing. Wrestling.”  Tauriel’s interests were clear.

“I’m up for wrestling!” Kili wished his wife was beside him so that he could demonstrate how up for it he was.

“Rings around planets.” Legolas’ suggestion, and it made some sense, as did the others, but none seemed to completely capture all aspects of the riddle.

And at the exact same time, both Legolas and Kili had another idea. “Archery targets!”

And then they were both deflated, for the darkness part didn’t seem to fit.

After awhile, Thranduil had an idea. “Film cameras, the nondigital ones. My wife Gwíneth is always saying they produce unmatched photos that can’t quite be duplicated with new technology. And what’s captured by the lens, or the ring as it was, needs to be developed in a darkroom, and the result is irreversible, a permanent binding of sorts.”

 _This_ seemed like a good idea, and it generated others. Glóin, for example thought it could refer to movie reels. Or nondigital X-Rays. Anything involving some type of picture that needed to be developed in a traditional way.

They decided to split up into pairs to cover possible territory, dividing up into regions around town to look at darkrooms, movie theaters, photography stores, photography or camera exhibitions, even medical offices that had film-based equipment on site, but that seemed like it would be rare so it was the last resort choice.

“Wait a minute.” Éomer stopped the exodus of pairs from their respective locations outside the three libraries; his military precision and training led him to question the breadth of their current mission. “We’re going after way too many options. We need to narrow it down some more. We weren’t searching every single place that had flowers yesterday, after all.”

Gandalf nodded thoughtfully, blowing smoke rings into the air, not being able to resist his pipe after Pippin had mentioned smoking. “Yes, you’re right. Everyone, what are your ideas, how can we make this more specific?”

No one had any good ideas for many minutes, talking quietly amidst themselves to try to generate options, but then Bilbo came up with an answer, and it turned out to be a good one. “Think about what we’re doing here. TLKN-network is televising this. We live in an age of paparazzi, not like we’re targets of it, but people like Beren and Lúthien certainly are. The cameras find them, no matter where they are, what they’re doing. Some people might say we’re overly ruled by those kinds of photos. And it makes sense that the TLKN-network might try to draw some reference to their hosts into a riddle.”

“Excellent idea, Bilbo.” Gandalf was most pleased. 

Thorin was also happy and proud of his fiancé; this answer made sense. They reviewed options, deciding that paparazzi would probably use one of the darkrooms in town to develop pictures if they were using film, unless they had their own private darkroom, of course. There were only three darkrooms they could find on the internet that allowed time to be purchased, and the teams decided to travel as-is to each one as pairs were no longer needed, Thorin’s team to Khazâd Photo, Aragorn’s to Mirror Photo and Video, and Gandalf’s to the Torech Ungol Darkroom.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

In the Khazâd Photo darkroom, Sméagol found the answer to the day’s riddle, the golden TLKN-network token, this time in the likeness of a Beren and Lúthien photo.

Sauron was most pleased with the result, happy to have won the day’s competition, and in his excitement slapped Sméagol so hard across the back that the bald man with the abnormally wide eyes winced. “That will leave a mark.” Gollum winced at his brother in sympathy. Sauron wasted not time grabbing the token out of Sméagol’s hands, and Sméagol was disappointed to let it go.

“Can I keeps it? I like it.” Sméagol looked up at Sauron, wide eyes pleading, and for a moment AZOG’s CEO felt a measure of sympathy for the shorter, less attractive man. But his sympathy was dwarfed by his own desire to keep the token; he didn’t build his empire by giving in to every little whim, after all. Ruthlessness was important in his success, balanced by his ability to keep his people loyal.

“I will let you keep the next one we win, Sméagol. I’d like to keep this one, as it was our first. I would like to put it beside the first dollar I earned, in AZOG’s lobby.” Sméagol didn’t seem very happy about this, so Sauron pondered some more. They both wanted the token, and while Sauron felt it was much within his rights to keep it, he did acknowledge that Sméagol had played a big role today, solving the riddle once translated and then finding the actual token.

He looked towards Angmar, wordlessly questioning his right-hand man for suggestions. Angmar just shrugged; he obviously thought Sméagol needed no reward, that the token was rightfully Sauron’s. The Mouth had a suggestion, however, that he thought the bald man might like. He walked over to Sauron, speaking softly so that only his CEO could hear. “In light of the riddle today, why don’t you commission rings commemorating our win? From Celebrimbor & Co.? They could be simple, plain gold bands, with the riddle inscription on them perhaps? Or they could be different; you could pick out several rings of different types, and then have a special ring constructed for Sméagol?”

Sauron liked this idea a lot. It represented victory, a clear sign of their success, and it would cement his leadership of this team, much like the commemorating rings of athletic teams. “Sméagol, what do you think of this idea?” He explained it, and Sméagol was most excited. 

As they left the Khazâd Photo darkroom, Thorin’s team arrived, and he was very disappointed to see that they had lost today. Annatar Sauron was smug about it, a bit too smug perhaps, and this riled Thorin’s temper. Balin and Dwalin were able to contain him quickly, before anything untoward happened, and then they set about contacting their two sub-teams to let them know of the day’s loss.

Sauron approached Fili, asking him if he had thought any further about Angmar’s offer to purchase Longbeard’s miniature golf, and Fili told him that he had discussed it with his brother, and they weren’t interested in selling at this time. Sauron only nodded once, and Fili felt a bit uneasy. He knew of AZOG’s penchant for hostile takeovers; but as Balin had pointed out last night, a hostile takeover of a miniature golf course seemed ridiculous, and this eased his worry somewhat.

Kili slung his arm around his brother’s shoulders. “Let’s go home, Tauriel missed me, I’m sure of that.” 

Fili sighed; being the third wheel was definitely starting to get old. “I think I’ll go check on the golf course first, see how things are going there.”

Nori overheard, and joined the conversation. “Just make sure to ring the bell, then, before you go into the house; if you aren’t at home, who knows what might happen! You certainly don’t want to walk in on Tauriel showing Kili her moves!”

Fili groaned, both because the image was one he didn’t want to have, and because he knew it was all too likely to happen.

Most members of the LM2 team headed to the Prancing Pony, the more exuberant ones like Bofur, Merry and Pippin convincing the others that being down about the loss wasn’t good for the team’s morale. And besides, the vast majority of the team was starving, so many of them having greater-than-average appetites. Frodo and Sam almost decided to head back to the house that Frodo shared with Bilbo and have a quiet dinner, as neither had any desire to run into the Mouth of Sauron again. The rest of their team talked them out of it, however, and neither could refuse the temptation of more of the delicious food they had yesterday. And, deep down, each was probably too polite to say no.

 

At the restaurant, Thorin’s team was already seated when Aragorn’s arrived. “Merry! Pippin! We are much faster than you!” Bofur was gleeful, enjoying the light sense of contest with his new friends.

The scruffy captain of Merry and Pippin’s team responded for them, smiling widely. “Watch yourself, Bofur, if we have the same teams tomorrow you will surely lose.”

“That’s right Aragorn!” Pippin would not be denied. “Besides, you were closer than us, we had to drive further. If the playing field was even, you would have lost.”

“Never!” Bofur was adamant and still happy in his light-hearted ribbing.

“Alright then, we’ll make you a bet.” Merry had an idea, and Bofur was interested. “Next year, we’ll do that obstacle race that Aragorn did with Legolas and Gimli. Our team will beat yours, fair and square.”

“Thorin’s Company versus….Aragorn’s…what’s a name for you? Aragorn’s Group? Aragorn’s Band? Aragorn’s Team? Aragorn’s Fellowship?" 

They liked that last name, and shook hands on it, not realizing they might have asked the other people, especially Thorin, if they would actually be willing to participate. And they moved on to studying the menus, ordering their enormous plates of food, glad that the Prancing Pony had such big portion sizes, which was only natural given the appetites of the owners.

Aragorn had no interest in his menu whatsoever after Éowyn walked in, having only eyes for her, and he walked her back outside the restaurant to spend some time alone, having missed her during the day. He grabbed her almost roughly as soon as they exited the Prancing Pony's front doors, kissing her passionately amidst the people walking by, both of them so absorbed in each other that neither noticed anyone on their midst. “I missed you today, so very much.” He whispered at her when they drew back, tracing his finger down the side of her face.

“You should put me on your team next time, then.” It was a simple thing, really. “And you need a shave.” She rubbed her fingers across the stubble, almost giggling like she was a teenager again.

“Ah, but you wouldn’t recognize me if I cleaned up too much.” He joked, laughing. “And if you were on my team, I wouldn’t be able to concentrate, I’d only focus on you.” He kissed her again, and the world seemed to stand still.

 It started to move again when someone clearing their throat repeatedly nearby tried to grab their attention. Aragorn looked to see who it was, and immediately drew back from Éowyn. It was Elrond, someone he definitely didn’t expect to see. Even though he was no longer in a relationship with Arwen, he started to feel extremely self-conscious about Éowyn. Deep down he knew Elrond wouldn’t mind whatsoever, given that both Aragorn and Arwen had moved on, but it couldn’t erase the reluctance he felt. “Elrond, good to see you.” He grabbed the older man who was like a father to him and pulled him into a big hug. “This is my friend, Éowyn. Éowyn, I’ll meet you back inside after I talk to Elrond.”

Éowyn had sensed the change in Aragorn’s demeanor towards her immediately, and the beginnings of resentment and hurt grew in her heart. She wasn’t one to be commanded, even though she knew it wasn’t quite like that, but it felt close enough. And she didn’t like how Aragorn acted so differently around this person. And then she realized who it was, Arwen’s father, and while it helped her to understand his reaction a bit more, it made her _like_ that reaction even less. Her own insecurity about Arwen rushed back forcefully. 

She went back inside, thinking about grabbing her coat and leaving, then realized she would need a ride. And as she thought about it some more, she decided she didn’t want to leave. While she loved Legolas dearly, that seemed more like something he might do, and she didn’t think it was a good way to address problems, although she understood why a person would do that. As she thought about her tall blond friend she was glad to see that he was at the table, and she sat down beside him, asking how he was doing. But he didn’t have a chance to answer, Gimli not being able to wait any longer, asking him to take a walk. So Éowyn turned to Merry, seated on her other side, and they told each other stories about their team’s exploits for the day, enjoying one another’s company.

 

 

Thranduil’s wife Gwíneth and his sister Dis, along with her partner, Adlia, soon joined the team's dinner, and Glóin joined them at their end of the table with his own wife, Nuris. They talked about Dis and Adlia’s vow renewal ceremony from the past weekend, all most happy about how well it had gone, and decided they would have a dinner party soon. Soon after that Bilbo arrived, and Thorin greeted him with a kiss in front of everyone, glad to see him and most impressed that he had solved today’s difficult riddle. Nori couldn’t resist whistling, but neither of them seemed to mind.

Thorin returned to his seat beside Glóin, and he and Bilbo agreed to attend the dinner party that was being organized by those at this end of the table. Bilbo turned and whispered in his fiancé’s ear. “Thorin, I’m glad you’re willing to go; I’m happy you and Thranduil are trying to get along.”

Thorin smiled at him, and Bilbo was lost in how it lit up his entire handsome face, his heart beginning to race in his chest.

Thranduil interrupted them then, asking if they’d like to go over to the toy store next door with Bofur, to talk some more about the possible investment, and they thought this was a welcome idea, Bilbo secretly hoping there would be private spaces amidst the aisles where Thorin might show him just how much he had missed him today. And then he blushed, feeling embarrassed that he would even have such untoward thought in a toy store of all places. As they walked outside, Thorin asked him what he was thinking about, concerned that Nori had made another inappropriate comment.

Bilbo told him, and Thorin was pleasantly surprised. He kissed him then, and nuzzled his ear, whispering in turn. “Let’s make our stay short, then, as much as I like thinking about a new business venture, there are far more interesting things I’d rather be doing.”

Bilbo’s heart began to race faster, and he couldn’t help but agree.

 

  

Outside the restaurant, Gimli and Legolas had walked past Aragorn and Elrond, wondering what they might be discussing, but quickly turned their thoughts back towards each other. They walked for a time in silence, and then sat down in a park near the restaurant. The evening was calm and serene, and on any other night they might have sat together and watched the perfect sunset together. Tonight, however, neither noticed it, too focused on their own thoughts and each other, and unfortunately not in the ways they waanted to be focused.

Legolas was first to broach the silence, which impressed Gimli, as he knew it was difficult for him. “Gimli, I’m not at all happy about what happened. I’m sure you can tell. I’m sorry for ignoring you. But I’m not sure what to do.”

That wasn’t quite what Gimli wanted to hear, and he said as much. “I’d like you to try to look past it, if you can. I know it hurt you, and I’m sorry. I wish it never happened.”

Legolas looked at him closely, and then looked away. “Do you? I’m not so sure; at least, I don’t understand how that can be possible.” He wasn’t sure what answer he disliked more: Gimli having sex with Éomer just to have sex, or Gimli having feelings for Éomer and giving into them. Legolas had a lot of trouble comprehending the very idea of casual sex; for him it was anything but given the commitment he had made to his own virginity. And it was equally as hard to wrap his head around the idea that Gimli might be still be attracted to Éomer; this made him feel an intensity of jealousy that he knew wasn’t helpful.

Gimli placed his broad hand over Legolas’ more slender one, and clasped it tightly. “What do you need? Tell me, and I’ll do it.”

“I need to trust you, Gimli, and I’m not sure I do.” That was it, the crux of the matter.

And they both sat there in silence, neither certain what to do next.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Things I had to look up so listing them here:
> 
> Mithlond = The other name for the Grey Havens
> 
> Lindon = Gil-Galad’s realm; the Grey Havens were part of this realm.
> 
> Forlond = A harbor north of the Grey Havens
> 
> Harlond = A harbor south of the Grey Havens
> 
> Torech Ungol = Shelob’s lair


	8. Scavenger Hunt Interlude #1: A stormy Friday filled with planning, competing, and heartache

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Strange storms cause the cancellation of the day’s scavenger hunt events, although Bofur hopes the weather won’t disrupt his matchmaking plans. While drowning his sorrows with Gimli at the Green Dragon, Fili happily meets someone new, and they have an idea to help Gimli. Saruman wants something of Sméagol, and Annatar Sauron is persistent; he still wants to buy Longbeard’s Miniature Golf. After the storms clear, Bilbo talks of his plans with Éowyn, and the Goblin King begins planning his annual Paths of The Dead Halloween Extravaganza. Kili and Legolas have a friendly competition at Bard’s Archery range, and Aragorn isn’t friendly with the competition at the Rivendell Grand Hotel. Éowyn's had enough, and Boromir’s brother Faramir is happy to help her find an exit route, but she finds platonic comfort elsewhere.

“You know,” Merry said to Bofur, “This might be the cruelest storm I‘ve ever seen.”

“Oh? Why is that? Because it’s hailing so badly it seems like snow, even in the summer, which is completely insane, and it broke three windows here at the _Prancing Pony_? Or more likely because Estella Bolger is stranded near the Sea of Rhûn, since the Smaug Express isn’t flying today?”

They sat near one of the unbroken windows at Merry and Pippin’s successful-thus-far restaurant venture, waiting for Narvi, of _Narvi’s Doors and More_ , to deliver glass to replace the broken sections.

It was a strange Friday. The day’s scavenger hunt activities had been canceled due to fierce weather, stranger still because it hadn't been in the forecast at all. The previous two days of the scavenger hunt had proceeded much the same as the first two, with AZOG and LM2 teams trading wins, Gimli and Legolas feeling awkward and uncomfortable around one another and almost trading barbs again, and the Mouth of Sauron flirting with poor Frodo everytime he was in the PR man’s sight.

Both Merry and Bofur looked up when the front door of the _Prancing Pony_ opened. It was Gandalf, alternating between glowering at the sky and shaking hail off the large gray raincoat and rainhat he was wearing.

“Gandalf! If I didn’t know any better, I’d say that rain hat makes you look like a wizard! What’s his name, from Harry Potter….Dumbledore?”

“Hmm? Ah yes, quite original, Meriadoc Brandybuck,” Gandalf replied, his expression indicating he thought the comment to be not-at-all original. He walked over to their table, drawing out his pipe. “If I didn’t know any better, I’d say AZOG did this on purpose. They saw we had an advantage in morale yesterday, and wanted to interrupt it.”

Yesterday’s win had indeed been stellar. The LM2 team had collected the day’s winning token from _The Horn of Gondor Wind Turbines_ before AZOG had even come to a solution to the riddle. They were helped not only by Bilbo’s extreme speed in coming to a solution to “Voiceless it cries, Wingless flutters, Toothless bites, Mouthless mutters,” but also by Boromir’s expertise. The city hall representative had spent a good portion of his city government tenure planning the project, and the naming of the power generating wind station had personal significance for him, the _Horn of Gondor_ being a family heirloom of sorts, he told the team, but he wouldn’t tell them more. On Wednesday, the day before LM 2’’s lightning speed win, both teams had taken a longer amount of time to solve the presented riddle, “Thirty white horses on a red hill, First they champ, Then they stamp, Then they stand still.” But the AZOG team found the winning token first, at _Phial’s Smiles Dentistry_ , home of teeth whitened so bright they could glow in the dark.

“Yes,” Gandalf continued, “If I didn’t know better, I’d say even more specifically that Saruman had a hand in this storm. He studied meteorology in seminary school, and he’s struggled with sportsmanship his entire life. But, as we all know, no one can control the weather. At least any of us.”

Bofur laughed, thinking the idea of weather control somewhat funny. “It _is_ impossible, Gandalf. Although is anything truly impossible? So what do you think of this,” and he changed the subject, “Bifur and I are going to buy the _Mallorn Wooden Toys_ store next door, and Thranduil and Thorin are our backers. _Jointly_. As in, practically business partners."

Gandalf shook his head slowly, somewhat amazed, blowing small circles from his pipe as he considered the news. “I suppose you are correct; anything might be possible, indeed, if they are investing in a project together.”

Bofur laughed again. “Well, I hope I’m right about anything being possible. Because if the Smaug Express doesn’t fly at all today, Estella Bolger won’t make it back into town, and we’ll have one unhappy scavenger-hunter right there!”

Merry sighed at the comment, fiddling with his glass of ale, his slightly-downtrodden facial expression demonstrating his agreement.

“Who, dear Merry, is Estella Bolger?” Gandalf was curious, not having heard of her before.

Bofur was excited to tell the older man the news, leaning forward with a grin on his face. “He met her on Cerin-Amroth.com.”

“And what's that, a dating website?”

“That’s the one.” Bofur pulled out his smartphone. “Here, let me show you her profile.”

“Oh, that’s fine, no need. I’m sure Merry would prefer to introduce me in person.”

Merry agreed with that, and Bofur was a bit disappointed. So he told Gandalf about her anyway. “She’s very attractive, Gandalf. And has a lot in common with our good friend here: She’s adventurous, loves music, spy novels, firework shows, football and surfing, and she’s a devoted fan of that television show LOST.” Merry smiled; funny how Bofur knew so much about him in such a short time, really. “But best of all, Gandalf, I found her on Cerin-Amroth.com for Merry, and we figured out later that she’s the little sister of his good childhood friend, Freddy Bolger. I think I’ve made a great match here, if I say so myself.” He leaned back triumphantly, crossing his arms over his chest.

Gandalf smiled and nodded politely; he unfortunately didn’t find this as interesting as Bofur would’ve hoped, but he did a good job of hiding his relative disinterest. “So this is your first date, Merry?”

Merry nodded, feeling slightly uncomfortable talking about this with Gandalf. Bofur was one thing, but Gandalf? “It is, if she makes it into town; we’re going to go to Gildor Inglorion’s concert tonight at the _Rivendell Grand Hotel_. If she doesn’t, we’ll just have to reschedule.”

“He’s in love with her already, Gandalf, spent three hours on the phone with her last night. And that was their first phone call!”

“Ah, well then Bofur, perhaps you shouldn’t run a toy business, but a matchmaking one."

Bofur laughed, grinning triumphantly. “Well, Ori is next on my list, so we’ll see if you’re right!”

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

At the _Green Dragon_ , as famous for its ale as its Friday (well, _everyday_ ) Fish Fry, Fili and Gimli sat at the long bar, Fili nursing a _Caradhras on the Rocks_ , Gimli nursing a broken heart. They’d been drowning their sorrows, Gimli pining for Legolas, Fili pining for the loss of his brother to marriage. The handsome blond felt badly about even admitting it to Gimli, but it was true; he was an unhappy third wheel.

Fili sighed. It seemed so silly when he said it out loud, that he was jealous of Kili and Tauriel, that he felt left out. But Gimli understood. “I’d be sad too. Look, I might lose my best friend over some drunken one night stand when we were waiting to date. Friends shouldn’t date at all, that’s for sure. No, I don’t mean that. I don’t know.” He took a long drink of his ale, confused as ever.

“I should’ve tried harder to stop you, Gimli. Not with Legolas; with Éomer. Although I didn’t quite realize how far you would go.”

Gimli was completely silent.

“I’m not sure if he’ll come around, are you sure you can handle waiting to see?”

“Yes, what the hell do you mean?” Gimli was utterly miserable, and it showed. “So what about you? Tauriel seems like she’s trying to include you. Could be worse, right?”

“Absolutely. I think I need to move out, but that just seems…lonely.” Sharing a house with the married couple was uncomfortable, but moving out seemed just as difficult. He’d lived with his brother…forever. They’d never been apart, really.

“Move in with someone else. Find a roommate.”

“I suppose I could. But I don’t want to end up with a nutty one.” He knew this was the best option, most likely, but it didn’t seem very appealing. He’d always gotten along so well with his brother; that’s why Kili wanted him to stay. And he certainly didn’t want a horrible roommate. “Bilbo’s stories about having Sméagol as a roommate—those are pretty creepy, Sméagol stalking Bilbo over disputed property. What was disputed, exactly?”

Gimli shrugged. “I don’t know, actually. And he seems harmless enough now. Maybe it was some kind of misunderstanding.”

“People get crazy about things they own, or things they want to own…”

They were interrupted by a hand on Gimli’s shoulder. A tall brunette woman, her hair long and glowing, dressed in a long velvet dress with a shimmering diamond pendant around her neck. She could very well have been the most beautiful woman Fili had ever seen. Just as gorgeous as Lúthien, if not more. And their facial features were somewhat similar; it almost seemed like they were related.

“Gimli, hi. How are you?” She spoke in her gentle voice, her expression quite neutral.

“Arwen! What are you doing in town?”

“I’m back from my time overseas. I stopped here to get out of my father’s hotel for a bit; Lindir is setting up for Gildor Inglorion’s concert tonight and it’s really loud, they’re having a problem with the sound system. Gave me a headache.” Living in the _Rivendell Grand Hotel_ was generally quite nice and convenient, this one exception unfortunately timed to coincide with her arrival back to Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton.

“Would you care to join us?” Fili offered, wanting to know more about this friend of Gimli’s. She seemed ethereal, calm…wonderful.

Gimli made introductions, and they moved to a booth, ordering the Green Dragon’s specialty, all-you-can-eat beer-battered fish and chips.

Arwen was interested in learning more about the events she’d heard about from her father. “So what’s this I heard? You’re involved in some big scavenger hunt? My Ada said Thranduil had even joined Thorin in it? I never thought something like that would happen!”

Gimli scowled; her mention of the scavenger hunt only reminded him of Legolas’ coldness towards him.

Fili sat back, arms crossed. “He’s pining for Legolas. Totally head over heels, and completely messed it up.”

“Oh? What happened?” She was completely surprised to hear this, never really considering that the two friends would date one another.

Fili explained, in a relatively humorous way, and Arwen started warming up to him more than she would have expected.

“Gimli,” she said, “You really did mess that up. Why are you here? Why aren’t you trying to win him back?”

Gimli sighed, scowling still. “I’ve tried what I can think of. Poems, a bouquet of flowers, professions of devotion...He completely ignores me.”

They were all at a loss; it was a good list, especially since it had been done over the past few days while the scavenger hunt was forefront on everyone’s mind. But Arwen thought it over, and it led her to a question. “Well, it hasn’t been that long, maybe he just needs time to adjust to what happened. But Gimli, what do you value more than anything? What does he value more than anything?”

The ginger-haired man shrugged. “I have no idea. What? What’s the answer?”

She laughed, and Fili was entranced by the sound. “I don’t know, that’s why I was asking you!”

Fili was unfortunately convinced that the romance was at its end. At least for now; Gimli should just bide his time and try again later, before he annoyed his dear friend too much with his overtures. “It’s simple, really. Legolas doesn’t trust him. It’s not like you can have Balin draw up a contract that says you’ll never do this again, with some severe consequence.”

Arwen’s eyes widened. “Like shaving his head for the next ten years if he breaks it.”

FIli laughed at the idea and then sat back, intrigued. “You may just have something there.”

She smiled. “Well, maybe not the head-shaving, I’m not sure Gimli would go for that, but……why not?”

Arwen turned to Gimli. “Ginger-haired friend, Fili and I will draw up a contract for you, and present it to Legolas. As your emissaries, you could say.”

Gimli was silent—part of him thought the idea might have some possibilities. But the other part of him thought it was silly. And the two of them were gloating as though they had invented something marvelous, like pipeweed.

Fili was struck by another idea, one that would make this contract even better. “And we’ll get Balin to help. Do you know Balin, Arwen?” She didn’t. “He’s a master of contracts. He could turn a simple phrase into a 16 page treatise!”

“Excellent. Do you want to meet me at my father’s hotel, the Rivendell Grand, later today? We can use one of the conference rooms, perhaps come up with a draft that Balin can review?"

He nodded; it sounded like a fine idea for at least two reasons. Gimli still wasn’t sure about it, but he decided it didn’t matter; what harm was there in them writing up a contract? He could always decide not to use it. And maybe in working on it, or in his reading of it, they’d come up with a better idea.

They were distracted then by singing, but not the type of melodious-yet-overly-loud singing that came courtesy of Lindir’s malfunctioning speakers, driving Arwen to this very place. No, it was an off-key and strange ditty, from a voice Gimli and Fili instantly recognized.

“Juicy sweet, juicy sweet, We only wish To _eat_ a fish, so Juicy sweet.”

“Sméagol,” said the gruff voice in the booth near theirs, “I would appreciate more silence. Your voice is most…intriguing, but I fear this is not the place for entertainment.”

Fili peeked around their booth, trying to be nonchalant. Luckily, they didn’t see him.

 _Saruman_ , he mouthed.

Arwen stood up to leave, putting on her raincoat and grabbing her umbrella. “Well, on that note, I should get going. At least the hail seems to have stopped, although the rain still looks ferocious. But, I have errands to run. See you later today? Say, around 3 or 4?”

Fili nodded, and as soon as she was gone, Gimli couldn’t resist commenting. “Look, you said once you couldn’t see me with Éomer; I can’t see you with Arwen. She doesn’t seem like your type!”

Fili rolled his eyes. “Are you blind? She’s beautiful, smart, has good ideas, she seems calm and gentle yet almost stubborn or something, like she would stick to her decisions and convictions no matter what, even if it changed the course of her life….I like her. So what’s the deal with her and your friend Aragorn, exactly?”

Gimli explained about their relationship demise, and how he thought they might be meant for each other…and how he thought his roommate Éowyn, currently dating Aragorn, was in for heartbreak.

Fili wasn’t as convinced.

In the booth near theirs, Saruman was trying to do some convincing of his own, plying Sméagol with sweet words and his favorite sushi and sashimi. He’d seen Sméagol fiddle with the white gem he’d found along the Anduin River during the first day of the scavenger hunt, and the older white-haired man wanted it. He told Sméagol that it was an important historical artifact and it needed to be put on display at his museum within the tower of Isengard, alongside the gold chain of Isildur and the first smartphone produced by the Palantir network. He’d appealed to Sméagol’s sense of civic duty, as well as offering money and trades for other gems, but Sméagol would have none of it. The bald man with the three-hair combover and wide eyes had a constant refrain: “It’s precious, just like Bilbo Bagginses’ engagement ring; I won’t gives it up.”

Sméagol didn’t trust this man with the straight white hair, cunning eyes, and hawk-like nose. His twin brother, Gollum, warned him against going to the _Green Dragon_ for lunch, but Sméagol couldn’t resist the invitation. On Fridays the Valmar Rolls tended to be particularly heavenly, and Sméagol loved them dearly. So he decided to just make it clear that he didn’t want to part with the treasure he’d found. But Saruman was pushy, even as he looked detached and only mildly interested. So Sméagol was very happy when a reprieve came in the form of the Mouth of Sauron.

“Hello, fellow scavengers! Fancy seeing you here!”

Saruman sat back, crossing his arms. “Ah, the Mouth of Sauron. Didn’t you have further work to catch up on for that Vineyard Valley wine tasting tour that begins soon?”

“No, I’m doing that tomorrow. Today my task is different.”

“And….?”

The Mouth smiled. “That, Saruman, is not for your ears.” He looked around the restaurant, trying to decide if he wanted to sit here with Saruman and Sméagol or elsewhere when he caught sight of Fili and Gimli in a booth near the one he was standing beside.

He excused himself and went over to their booth. “Well, hello, LM2 scavengers! I have a question for you, do you mind if I sit?”

While Gimli had talked with the Mouth of Sauron before, Fili had only seen him from a distance. So he nodded, a bit apprehensively, wondering what the PR man with questionable personal hygiene wanted. The Mouth sat down beside Gimli, in the space Arwen had just left a few minutes prior.

“As you know,” The Mouth continued, “My CEO, Annatar Sauron, is interested in purchasing your miniature golf course for the entertainment arm of AZOG. I believe Angmar provided a preliminary offer to you already?”

Fili nodded. The offer from the first night of the Scavenger Hunt had been subpar, not even covering half of their start-up costs.

“Well,” The Mouth continued, “Angmar is certainly not known for his people skills, so he can be off-putting, although he does drive a hard bargain. There’s a reason he's one of Annatar’s right-hand men. Me being the other, of course.”

“But of course.” Gimli smirked a bit, gesturing for him to continue.

“Certainly that offer was just an initial bid, and Annatar would like me to invite you to meet with him after the scavenger hunt is completed, to discuss options.” He leaned forward, eyes glittering, a cackle escaping his lips.

Fili wasn’t interested in selling, and certainly not at all interested in going out of his way to hear an offer that he wouldn’t even consider. “Oh, I’m flattered that Longbeard’s Miniature Golf is so attractive to him, but I really don’t want to sell.”

The Mouth cocked an eyebrow, and cackled. “Well then, you haven’t heard the news creeping through the grapevines, as they say?”

“No, what news?”

The PR man leaned back, certain of his coup. “That the Smaug Express is going to try to make a bid with city hall for the land your golf course is on, to build a second airport. For their own sole use, to expand their airline empire.”

Gimli was surprised, and Fili wasn’t sure what to say. So his ginger-haired cousin spoke for him. “Why would AZOG want to buy a miniature golf course if it might be demolished to build an airport?”

“Oh, Annatar Sauron would relocate all of the items to a different location. Within our corporate campus, which was my idea, or along Mordor Blvd. He’ll give you a better deal than what’ll happen if Smaug goes forward. Think about it.”

Fili was completely confused; how likely was it that Smaug would succeed? And wouldn’t they get fair market value for their business, even more than fair, if this did happen? There were laws about that, there must be. Or were they just being played for fools by the Mouth of Sauron? “But why wouldn’t we just move it ourselves, then?”

“Look, I’ll tell you something in confidence, but it goes no further. Agreed?” The Mouth looked at both of them, speaking low enough that no one else would hear. The cousins looked at each other, and nodded in agreement.

“And I only do this because I like your friend Frodo, and I don’t want to see his friends have unhappy outcomes. So, think about this; Annatar Sauron has friends in high places in City Council, as does Smaug. You do not. Neither does Thorin Oakenshield, as successful as he is; his biggest political allies are in different cities and have little influence here. It’s part of the reason why Arkenstone Hills was lost in the first place, correct?” Both Fili and Gimli thought it was possible; corruption might have been involved in that hostile takeover two generations ago, and perhaps the city government remained corrupt. “You won’t get a permit to build elsewhere, I know that. AZOG would. You’ll be backed into a corner. Annatar Sauron gets what he wants. So does Smaug."

“All of this over a miniature golf course?!” Gimli understood what The Mouth was saying, and he could generally see why Smaug would want to obtain land for an airport, but he _didn’t_ understand why Annatar Sauron would go to all this trouble for Longbeard's Mini Golf.

“I can’t say; I’ve said enough. Annatar would fire me in an instant if he knew I’d told you this much. You don’t have to meet with him, of course, but I’d recommend seeing what he has to say. He could offer to hire you to run the course within the AZOG empire. He might even give you a position higher up in the entertainment arm. Perhaps a VP role.”

Both Fili and Gimli were seeing a bit more clearly now; it would at minimum be a coup on Sauron’s part, hiring Thorin’s nephew, and Thorin would be extremely angry. Thorin had been their key investor, and he certainly wouldn’t appreciate them switching to the dark side, as he would call it. But Kili and Fili had poured so much into this new business, and what would they do otherwise?

They’d have to figure out something, should this actually happen.

Fili and Gimli both dearly wanted to go to Thorin with what they’d learned, but they’d sworn themselves to secrecy, and neither of them would break such a vow. They couldn’t even tell Kili.

“Perhaps it might be easiest if I just meet with him, see what he has to say. Although once again, how do I know any of this will actually happen?”

The Mouth shrugged, tilting his head this way and that. “How do we know anything will happen? I can’t say for sure either, but I do know that once Annatar Sauron targets something, he doesn’t let go. It might not seem like it, but I’m looking out for you, in my own way.”

He stood, moving back to the table that Saruman and Sméagol occupied. “Let me know if you want to set up a meeting.”

Fili rubbed his head to try to get rid of the pain that had started to take root there; while he still didn’t know if this was a certainty or simply a possibility, helping Gimli win Legolas back was definitely no longer foremost on his mind. “I should skip that meeting with Arwen today, try to figure this out.”

“No.” Gimli was adamant. “Not because of me, of course. And I’ll say again that I don’t know if spending time with her is a good idea, in the same way I’d say the exact same thing to Éowyn about spending time with Aragorn. But don’t let this ruin your weekend. Nothing’s going to happen that soon. He said as much.”

“Do you think there’s something else going on? Do you think he might be making it all up, to get us to consider this offer? Sam keeps saying he doesn’t trust him, remember?” Fili whispered to Gimli, who simply shrugged in an unknowing way.

They returned to their fish and chips, but both had lost their appetites.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Later that day, after the weather cleared, Éowyn sat with Bilbo Baggins on his front porch. “Why Mr. Baggins, you’ve just gotten engaged! Planning the wedding so very soon; don’t you want to just enjoy the engagement for awhile?” Éowyn smiled at the middle-aged man as they sat on his front porch on the surprisingly fine Friday afternoon, both exhausted from the events of the week.

The strange storm had put Thorin in a foul mood, and he’d stormed off after the day’s hunt had been cancelled, grumbling about the work he needed to catch up on at LM2 headquarters and having no time to socialize all day and night.

Bilbo had quickly learned to simply let his handsome fiancé be alone in these situations, and he was actually somewhat relieved that he wouldn’t have to participate in the ongoing nightly revelry. He just wanted to grab a good book and _relax_ with a good cup of tea and his pipe, even if he was trying to cut down on smoking.

He’d taken up Thranduil’s wife Gwíneth on her offer to plan his wedding, and he had a meeting with her on Saturday at Greenwood Estates to begin working in earnest.

Éowyn was struck by the speed of it all. Certainly nothing was as fast as Tauriel and Kili’s elopement, but her neighbor hadn’t dated in years, and now he was quickly moving into marriage. But at least Thorin made him happy, even when the CEO was grumpy, which Éowyn found somewhat remarkable. In the back of her mind, she wondered if Thorin’s moods might ever become too much, especially if it was directed at Bilbo himself…but Thorin dearly loved Mr. Baggins, and certainly he would never get that angry at him.

Bilbo sat quietly, sipping his tea, somehow amused that Éowyn thought he might need to stop and smell the roses. But he wasn’t getting any younger, and marriage to his sometimes-surly, enigmatic yet loving and dedicated CEO seemed like a grand adventure that he was all too ready to begin.

Finally he answered her, his smile growing wider. “Oh, I’m enjoying the engagement, Éowyn, I’m greatly enjoying it.”

Something in his tone reminded her of Nori and his often-lewd comments, and she might have blushed if she hadn’t been distracted by the sudden _slam_ and subsequent grumbling on the sidewalk next door.

Gimli had harshly shut his car door and was on his way into the front door of the house he shared with Éowyn. Bilbo glanced over. “He’s in a foul mood.”

She nodded. “Again.”

“It’s a bit ridiculous, really. They should just talk to each other. It’s a shame, really.”

Éowyn was conflicted. The one night stand had been with her brother, after all, and while Éomer and Gimli were on friendly terms, he still harbored strong feelings for the ginger-haired man. “I can’t help them, Mr. Baggins, it’s too complicated with my brother and everything.”

“Oh, I wasn’t suggesting that at all, Éowyn. They need to handle it themselves, like Dwalin and Balin have said multiple times. But if they don’t talk to each other, nothing will get figured out.”

Legolas had decided he just needed some space and time by himself, and hadn’t really talked to Gimli since that night outside the Prancing Pony when they tried to have a heart-to-heart. It was painful for everyone to watch, even Éomer, because both of them were in foul moods and obviously pining for one another.

“Oh no.” Bilbo then muttered under his breath, completely distracted from the topic of the lifelong friends’ love life.

“What?” Éowyn looked around, not able to determine what Mr. Baggins was referring to.

“Down the street. It’s the Goblin King. His manners are foul and his jokes _so_ unfunny.” Bilbo had met the huge, exuberant owner of _Goblin King’s Costumes and More_ when he’d shopped at his store, although he hadn’t had the opportunity to oppose him in any significant way on a scavenger hunt day.

“But his costumes are nice.” Eowyn offered softly.

“True enough.” Bilbo had to agree, his costumes were unique, plentiful and available in all sizes. “And while he seems gruff and harsh, he does at least try to be funny. But it‘s hard to even walk by his store without being dragged inside by his employees. Especially if you walk by the High Pass side of the street. They stand outside with their coupons and signs and accost you to come in, but sometimes they’re sneaky and before you know it, you’ve purchased three costumes you don’t need. And it’s more difficult to find a way out of there than it is at IKEA, the winding paths and bridges that lead you through every section imaginable…though it is decorated quite nicely. Including his throne. Which I hear he sits in a lot.” Then Bilbo sighed, for they had been spotted, and the Goblin King sauntered up his sidewalk.

“Well, well, well! Look who it is; Bilbo Baggins, Thorin’s treasure.” The large man bowed in a grand gesture, the hand that held a map of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton sweeping to the side, his other hand gripping his walking stick. His right-hand man moved next to him, known as the Goblin Scribe for his proficiency at taking rapid notes for the Goblin King and his costume store customers. Initially Bilbo had felt a bit sorry for G.S., as he was nicknamed, for he was confined to a wheelchair, and Bilbo had felt a bit embarrassed by that, for he was certain that pity was not something G.S. would want. But it quickly became irrelevant and he didn’t pay attention to his mode of movement anymore.

At the same time, he certainly wasn’t in the mood for a repeat unexpected party, so he hoped they wouldn’t want to be invited inside. He would be polite, but not inviting. “And what brings you to Bag End Drive?”

The Goblin King smiled, a wider smile than any other Bilbo or Éowyn may have ever seen. “Well, given the extra time we had today with the cancellation of the scavenger hunt, we decided to scout locations for my annual Halloween extravaganza.”

“Oh? You’re thinking about holding it here? A street party?”

The Goblin King shook his head, leaning on his walking stick, adorned with realistically crafted skeletal features. On any other, it might have seemed creepy, but all residents of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton recognized the King of Costumes from his plentiful billboards and television commercials, and it fit with his persona. “Well, no, I’m thinking of running my _Paths of the Dead_ _Halloween Extravaganza_ as a charitable walk this year, and I am scouting routes. This Scavenger Hunt has helped me see that I am terribly out of shape, so I’m making a commitment to physical fitness.”

“That’s a very nice idea. And will people wear costumes?” Éowyn thought it was an interesting idea, and Bilbo agreed.

“Of course!” He spoke grandly, waving his hand in the air. “I hope it will be an even bigger spectacle than the _White Mountain Beacon Display_ that is put up around the holiday season!”

Both Éowyn and Bilbo were taken aback; the lights display was impressive, able to be seen for miles and miles. Surely the Goblin King couldn’t hope to top that?

The King of Costumes leaned forward towards Bilbo. “Tell Thorin Oakenshield that I’d like him to be my guest of honor! He and his LM2 staff. It’ll be a party like none ever seen before!”

With that, the Goblin King and his Scribe swept away, off to scout additional locations.

Bilbo took a sip of his tea, thoughtful. “Éowyn, do you think he’s up to something?”

“Why do you say that, Mr. Baggins?” She raised her blonde eyebrows at him, waiting to hear what he had to say.

“Simply because he’s never seemed quite…trustworthy."

She pondered for a moment, uncertain. “He certainly doesn’t seem devious like Annatar Sauron or that henchman of his, Angmar. He should be a warlock of this Halloween bash.”

Bilbo laughed. “He should be the Witch-King for this Extravanganza-to-beat-all-Extravaganzas.”

They both laughed at that, and then grew silent, each of them suddenly experiencing shivers of discomfort. “Well, Mr. Baggins, I should get going, I’m meeting Aragorn for dinner at the Rivendell Grand Hotel.”

“Oh? I should hope he introduces you to Dr. Peredhel properly, then. From what you told me, the way he ignored you on Tuesday night wasn’t very kind.” Bilbo had an angry gleam in his eye. He wouldn’t stand for anyone mistreating his next door neighbor, and while he certainly knew she could stand up for herself, he wouldn’t stand by and watch if it happened again. “It’s lucky I wasn’t there, Éowyn, or I would have told him to mind his manners.”

Éowyn blushed. “Mr. Baggins, you’re too kind. But don’t worry, I can handle it. I’ll let you know if I need your help. I’ll see you tomorrow, right?”

“Well, remember I’ll be meeting with Thranduil’s wife Gwíneth tomorrow, to plan my wedding.”

“Oh right, how could I forget that! You only just told me!”

“That Goblin King could clear a person’s mind of any thoughts besides his beige-colored clothes and his crown.” True enough, Éowyn agreed.

As she stood, he picked up his journal and began writing. “Mr. Baggins, you should do a poetry reading sometime. Why, you could do it tonight, at the Rivendell Grand! Be an opening act for Gildor Inglorion! I forgot to tell you—Merry texted me, he’s taking his date there tonight. He’d cheer you on!”

Bilbo was a bit flustered by her compliment. “Oh, I don’t think so, Éowyn. I’ll leave it to you to read sometimes, or Frodo and Sam. Maybe Pippin and Merry, although not Merry if he’s on a date! And certainly not a big audience!”

She walked down his steps and started over towards her own house. “Maybe someday you will, Mr. Baggins. In the _Rivendell Grand Hotel’s Hall of Fire_ , no less. And don’t forget to call Thorin and tell him he’s invited to be the guest of honor at this year’s Halloween party. Let me know what he says!"

With that, she entered her house. Gimli was in the basement, but not working on the plumbing, which thankfully hadn’t broken down again since its record-breaking streak of downtime a couple of months ago. She went down to say hi, and saw that he was busy at his worktable. “What are you making?”

When she peeked over his shoulder to look, she saw he was crafting several slender objects, perhaps bookmarks? They were beautiful, with interwoven designs of leaves and stars and flowers, and somehow they glittered in an infinite number of ways. “What are they? They’re absolutely gorgeous.”

He smiled at her gruffly. “It’s a secret.”

“Oh, please tell me, you know I can keep a secret.”

He shook his head, and she accepted defeat, but asked if she could watch, as she was always struck by his ability to make things like this, and hoped she might be able to learn herself. “Absolutely you can watch, you can make one yourself if you like.”

“But you still won’t tell me what it is?”

“Nope.”

She laughed. “Is it for Legolas?” His silence was all the answer she needed, and soon enough she got to work, making her own… _something_. Gimli didn't tell her that he had thought of an idea for Legolas after coming home from the Green Dragon, and that he'd recruited someone to help him. It was a secret, after all. The time passed quickly, and while her unknown object wasn’t remotely as nice as the ones he was making, she was impressed with herself nonetheless.

They were interrupted in their now-mutual crafting by the doorbell. Éowyn’s eyes lit up. “It’s Aragorn. He’s taking me out to dinner, but it’s a surprise.”

Gimli laughed. “And you’re excited.”

“Yes, how did you know?” She laughed as well, for the answer was clear to both of them, and she ran up the stairs.

It was indeed Aragorn, and she greeted him with a warm, enthusiastic embrace; he was taken aback by her effusiveness at first, but quickly returned her fervor, kissing her passionately.

It ended when the less-lovely throat clearing sounded in the background. “Sorry to interrupt,” Gimli said with twinkling eyes, “but I’ve lost my house key; can you leave yours outside under the planter for me again? I’ve got a few things to do but I just don’t know where my key is.”

“Sure.” And with that, Gimli left the house to run errands. Aragorn throatily whispered to her….“Now, where were we?”…. while smiling his handsome smile that made Éowyn’s heart melt.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

“Sam! What are you doing here?” Legolas set his bow on the rack at Bard’s Archery Range, readying his arrows.

“Mr. Legolas, nice to see you. Why, I’m babysitting Mr. Bard’s children. With the scavenger hunt cancelled today, he asked me if I could help out while he organized his store. Oh my, I’ve never seen so many types of bows and arrows, I reckon you’d like it.”

“I can imagine; I’ll have to have a closer look. This is actually my first time here; I decided to diversify and not stick to the ranges at my or my Adar’s house all of the time.” And then Legolas raised an eyebrow. “Is an archery range a good place to babysit children?”

“Oh, you should know as well as anyone else, kids who learn early learn well. Whether it’s tending crops or shooting arrows. And they’re very good shots, if I say so myself.”

Legolas saw the children then, Bain, Sigrid and Tilda. Legolas was struck by how well-behaved they were, as well as their ages; the boy and the older girl seemed to be almost as tall as Bard himself. For some reason he assumed Sam was taking care of babies and toddlers. Of course children of this age could shoot if properly supervised. And then he was struck by how much the two girls looked a bit like Bofur as well as Bard, wondering if the two men might be related.

Kili walked to the waiting area then, having had the same idea as Legolas, that the weather had cleared and a round of practice would be welcome. “Legolas! Sam!”

“Why, I reckon this place is a magnet for arrow-lovers today!”

Kili and Legolas laughed, and the tall blond astronomy professor invited Sam to join them. “Do you shoot Sam? Care to join us?”

“Oh no, I’ve actually only used a bow a couple of times, Mr. Bard’s children have tried to show me, but I’ve stayed away. Although, do you mind much if we have a bit of a gander while you shoot?”

Both were more than pleased with that idea. Kili smiled at Sam; he quite liked this gentle-mannered, practical, curly-haired man. “Not at all.” He turned to Legolas. “A friendly competition, Legolas? In the style of the ones you have with Gimli?”

Legolas flinched, and Kili instantly regretted saying his cousin’s name. “Sorry, I forgot. Well, a competition nonetheless, to entertain the kids here. What does the winner get?”

“Hmm. How about loser buys the winner one of Bard’s bows or some arrows?” Kili thought Legolas’ idea was a fantastic one, and the match was on.

Legolas won handily, having had many more years of practice than Kili; the tall blond was the best archer in town, after all. But he was impressed with Kili’s skill; with a similar level of practice, Kili’s proficiency would rival his own.

Before going into Bard’s store, they set up for additional rounds, simply for practice now. Kili was interrupted by a phone call. It was his brother, cancelling the plans they had made with Tauriel to watch Beren and Lúthien’s newest movie at the Ungoliant Cinema, _Silmaril_ , ravely reviewed as a thrilling jewel heist with a hefty dose of romance.

“Bummer. First time since I got married that we plan a movie night, and he ditches me for someone. Well, I suppose it’s a movie better suited for just Tauriel and I anyway.”

Legolas smiled; Fili certainly deserved to meet someone nice. “Oh? And who would be? If you don’t mind my asking?”

“Not at all, I don’t mind, but he didn’t say. Just something about a contract.” And his tone led Legolas to know that Kili wasn’t sure if it was more business or more pleasure. But probably pleasure, since it certainly wasn’t related to their miniature golf course.

Sam’s phone buzzed as well right then. It was a text from Gimli, asking if _now was a good time?_ It certainly was, as Mr. Bard should be done with his organizing work, so he texted back that he would meet him in an hour.

They all went into the store, Sam dropping the children off with Bard and leaving; Kili and Legolas looking at the vast selection of bows and arrows. Kili had been here many times before, so he wasn’t surprised, although he always enjoyed looking, but Legolas was entranced with the wide array.

He was especially dazzled when he saw the Galadhrim Bow that Bard had in stock; they were rare, expensive, and greatly prized among wooden recurve aficionados like himself. It was stored within a locked display case, and he asked Bard if he could look at it. “I’ve never actually seen a bow from the Lothlórien Archery Company before.”

“Ah, the Lothlórien Archery Company makes bows like no others; unfortunate that they don’t work well with the arrows from the Black Arrow Company, as that would be a most deadly combination in the hands of a skilled archer.”

Legolas gazed at the bow in wonder, and saw Bard was right; the Black Arrow Company’s products were sized too large for this wondrous bow. But all were hand-crafted and fantastically made.

“How much is it?” He turned to Kili. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask you to buy it.”

Bard smiled. “Any friend of Kili and Sam is a friend of mine. I’m a bit loathe to sell it, but for you, I’ll give you a discount. Three thousand.”

Legolas was shocked; even though a custom bow was generally less than a thousand, he’d heard these bows were five thousand or more. “No discount, then. I’ll pay full price.” He felt a bit embarrassed at the ease with which he did this, and felt compelled to explain himself. “I’m a pretty frugal person, and I’ve been saving up for a new bow for awhile. I’ve had my Mirkwood bow forever, it seems.” He loved his bow, and it had served him well; the craftsman that had made it had a well-known cottage archery industry in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, using wood harvested from the forest near Vineyard Valley.

Bard smiled once more, further warming up his generally reserved expression. “You’re a terrible bargainer. Alright, if you insist.” The full price was the five thousand Legolas had been expecting to pay at minimum, and he felt like it was the best purchase he had ever made.

Bard packaged the bow as well as the winning token that Kili bought him, a black good luck stone similar to one that his own mother Dis had carved him, and Legolas took both home. He was hesitant to even unpack the bow, for it was one of the finest things he had ever seen, but he put the good luck stone in his pocket just like Kili kept his own, hoping that more good things would come his way….primarily some sort of resolution with Gimli.

Kili hadn't told Legolas that the stone was one of _returning_ , intended to signify and facilitate a loved one's return, but he decided Legolas would just reject it if he was that specific, and _good luck_ was close enough.

But Legolas seemed to have come to a similar thought on his own, in his own way, and if Kili had known that, he would have thought it was better this way anyway.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

A few hours earlier at the _Rivendell Grand Hotel_ , Fili and Arwen met up, Balin and Ori in tow. The master-of-contracts was somewhat amused by the idea when Fili had explained it, and decided he wanted to tag along, bringing his favorite scribe with him. Fili hadn’t been too keen on the idea, given that the contract was only part of the reason he wanted to meet up with Arwen, but he just couldn’t tell Balin and Ori _no_ ; it seemed cruel, especially since the older man’s eyes lit up at the idea of writing a type of contract he'd never thought about before. Balin certainly had valid concerns about the idea in general, wondering how Legolas would react….but he’d also seen for himself how Gimli was seeming to only make the situation worse. If it kept up, they’d be reduced to insulting each other. This seemed like a better idea—besides, what was the worst thing that could happen?

They sat at a secluded table in the back of Elrond’s five-star restaurant, Arwen deciding that this atmosphere sounded more appealing than one of the conference rooms, which were still beset by Lindir’s struggles with the sound system. The dining room was decidedly _Grand_ , just like the rest of the hotel, made of intricate pillars and finely wrought windows and terraces that provided dazzling views of the hotel’s gardens and impressive waterfall and pool. It had an open-air feel that was completely viable and equally as wonderful even in the winter months.

Neither Fili or Ori had been here before, although Balin had, and they were perhaps not quite as impressed by the elegant design of the restaurant _and_ the menu as they could have been. Of course, everything was on the house, and when they were served, they were glad for it.

Ori stared at his starter salad, a thin sliver of cucumber topped with three edible flowers and drizzled with a midly scented vinaigrette. “I don’t want to offend you, Arwen, but are these flowers a rare commodity?” Priced at $25, he thought that could be the only reason the salad was so expensive, unless the cucumber was organic and flown from some renowned cucumber field far away, possibly on its own private flight aboard _Great Eagle Airlines_ , which might explain why there was hardly any of the relatively crunchy vegetable on the plate.

She laughed. “No, and I love how forthright you are! My father grows them in my favorite garden, the one right outside our terrace here, and harvests them during their bloom season. They’re nasturtium. The key to a five star restaurant, Ori, is good food and extraordinary prices. And the correct ambience, of course.”

Fili glanced at the string quartet playing softly in the middle of the restaurant. “Well, Balin here plays the viol, he could join in.”

“Really? I’d love to hear you play.” Arwen smiled gently, most sincerely interested.

“Harumph. Well, Fili here plays just as well, though not as suitable for this restaurant. Fiddle player extraordinaire.”

“And I play the flute, quite well actually.” Ori wasn’t generally boastful, but he was bold at times, and he certainly wanted this beautiful woman to know of his talents.

Arwen’s smile grew wider. “Well, I wouldn’t have guessed. Well, that does it, you owe me a concert.”

Fili almost spit out his wine. “Here?”

“No, no. Unless you have your instruments with you?”

Fili blushed a bit. “We sort of…well…we generally have them. Just in case. Mine’s in my car. It’s a strange thing, I know, but it’s a tradition in our social circle.”

She giggled. “Well, I definitely want to hear, then. After we’re done the contract, we can go to one of the gardens and you can entrance me with a song.”

Balin snorted. “From the looks of it, I’d say it’d be the other way around.” He knew already that Fili was infatuated with the beautiful brunette. And Ori too. He wondered who might make the first move; if Kili hadn’t married and was here, it would have been him, but it was a new playing field now, so to speak. “Well laddies and lady, concerts are for later, let’s get to work on this contract.”

They bantered ideas around, eating their meagerly-portioned, extraordinarily expensive food. After an hour, Elrond and Lindir approached the table, sitting down to join them for awhile. The sound system was finally fixed, much to everyone’s relief, and now all was ready for Gildor’s concert aside from a few minor finishing touches.

Elrond was ever the gracious host, but his true interest was in learning more of the young man that Arwen had seemed to have a crush on when she talked about him earlier in the day. No one aside from him would have known it, as she was talented at hiding her feelings, but he knew, and he was intrigued. Perhaps there was life after Aragorn. He liked the scruffily-groomed man well enough; no, he loved him, for he was almost like a son to him. But Elrond just wasn’t sure that Aragorn was his daughter’s ideal choice, and he certainly wanted her to be sure. So he was pleased to see that she had a crush on someone else; she’d never even dated anyone else, after all.

The difficulty was, Elrond couldn’t tell _which_ man Arwen had been speaking of earlier. Was it the blond or the redhead? Both seemed somewhat opposite of Aragorn; more extraverted, more playful, less dour. But both were honorable, and he thought it might be interesting to see his reserved daughter date someone who…wasn’t as reserved as she was.

As the converstion progressed, Elrond thought it might be Fili that she was interested in, but he couldn’t quite tell, and he had to get back to work. So the physician-turned-hotelier decided he’d like to learn more. “Fili, Ori, Balin, would you care to join us tomorrow at the Grey Havens Regatta? We have a boat entered and you'd be welcome to join us.”

They were obviously surprised at the question, as was Arwen, but all pleasantly so. Dr. Peredhel certainly did live up to his reputation as a kind and welcoming host. From the way Arwen smiled at Fili, Elrond became a even more certain that he was the one she had a crush on, but the other young man was certainly interested, and she smiled at him as well, and Elrond became more uncertain again. Balin simply smiled knowlingly, and Lindir raised an eyebrow at his supervisor’s uncharacteristically spur-of-the-moment invitation. And then the hotel owner and his musical director had to leave to finish their concert preparations, leaving the quartet to finish their contract preparations.

Three hours after beginning work on the contract, they took a break, ordering coffee and desert. The portions after the appetizers had been larger yet still meager, and Fili, Ori and Balin didn’t find them filling, yet they didn’t want to offend their lovely hostess for various reasons. It was almost the complete opposite of dining at the _Prancing_ Pony, yet none of them seemed to mind; Balin enjoyed the atmosphere, and Fili and Ori certainly enjoyed the company.

When Fili and Ori excused themselves for a moment to use the gentlemen’s room, Balin and Arwen talked of her time overseas, engrossed in their conversation. The quartet had been so animated during their contracting-dining experience that none of them paid any attention to the others who dined nearby, and that certainly did not change now, even with Fili and Ori temporarily gone.

Had they been more aware of the others around them, Arwen would have noticed the newest pair to enter the dining room; but would it have made a difference?

At the host stand stood Aragorn and Éowyn, his arm draped around her waist. As they were escorted to their table she was struck suddenly by a rememberance; in her distracted state leaving her house, she had forgotten to leave a key for Gimli, and she told Aragorn so. “His mind just hasn’t been keeping track of things the past few days. Let me call Mr. Baggins, I think he might have a spare. I’ll be right back.” Éowyn gave Aragorn a quick kiss, and then went to the restaurant lobby to make her phone calls.

As Aragorn sat alone, he looked around the vast, beautiful dining room. He didn’t need to read the menu as he’d been here so many times; Elrond was almost like a father to him, after all. And like an almost-father would, Elrond had asked him to come to dinner and Gildor’s concert, believing Aragorn had exhibited poor manners on the evening the physician-turned-hotel owner ran into the dating pair, although he didn’t know they were dating then. When he found out the next day, he berated Aragorn for keeping it from him and demanded a proper introduction, all in his classically calm, courteous, commanding manner.

The scruffily-handsome man’s eyes stopped suddenly as he saw something he hadn’t been expecting at all. Was that Arwen? Sitting with Balin near the terrace that looked out onto her favorite garden?   At her favorite table, in the relatively secluded corner? Were they on a date?   He hadn’t known her to be attracted to older men, but maybe she was.  Balin hadn’t mentioned dating anyone; they must have just matched (but how?, he wondered) on Cerin-Amroth.com. He immediately walked over, scowling.

“Arwen, I didn’t realize you were back in town.”

She looked up from the papers she and Balin had begun reading, the impressive product of their work today, a gentle smile on her face. “Aragorn, nice to see you. You know Balin, from the scavenger hunt, correct?”

She knew about that? Well, he supposed it would be a good topic for first date conversation. But it just made him more annoyed.

Éowyn joined him tentatively, saying hello to Balin, and Arwen introduced herself to Éowyn, but Aragorn completely ignored his new girlfriend, fuming inside. His cold and distant manner certainly didn’t escape anyone’s notice, but all tried to politely ignore it.

Elrond happened to walk into the restaurant then, to give information about the regatta to Arwen’s dining companions. He saw an uncomfortable Arwen, a frowning Aragorn, a somewhat perplexed Balin, and a very disappointed Éowyn. He strode over to the table, intent ensuring a scene didn’t erupt. Aragorn was generally quiet and reserved, a man of good judgment, but anyone could become raging when jealousy entered the picture, and Elrond knew he still had strong feelings for his daughter. “Ah, Aragorn, good to see you, glad you could come. Will you introduce me to your new girlfriend?”

Arwen frowned. “Girlfriend? You’re dating someone?”

“We _broke up_ , Arwen.” He glared at her, wondering how she could seem so surprised when she was obviously out on a date herself, with an older man no less! But then Fili and Ori joined them at the table, wondering aloud if all of the newcomers were here to help with the contract they were working on, and suddenly it made no sense at all to Aragorn. And then it made _more_ sense when he saw the looks Fili and Ori sent towards Arwen, Arwen giggling and having fun, and he frowned some more.

Éowyn felt tears come to her eyes. Seeing Arwen and Aragorn at the same table, and especially Aragorn’s response, made everything more real than it had before. They obviously didn’t get along very well, but Aragorn had eyes only for the brunette, and she felt like she’d been a fool. This time, she wouldn’t stick around; maybe she shouldn’t have been so judgmental of Legolas when he slipped away from situations that he found distressing. Maybe it was a good choice. And maybe she should have listened to Gimli’s warnings when she first started dating Aragorn.

She backed away from the table, the conversation growing so animated about contracts that no one noticed she’d retreated, Aragorn so focused on Fili and Ori and Arwen that he’d forgotten she was there.......and Éowyn quickly found herself lost within the Rivendell Grand’s vast hallways.

She bumped into Boromir on her third attempt to find a way out. He was standing with Merry and the woman who must be his date, Estella, near the hotel’s _Hall of Fire Auditorium_ , an enormous entertainment room with extraordinary acoustics for concerts and other events, but she was too flustered to introduce herself. The trio that stood before her quickly realized that she was distressed and had been crying.

“Éowyn, what’s wrong?” Merry looked at her with concern etched all over his face.

“I can’t find my way out of here, and I’d like to go home. I need to call a cab, too. Do you know how to get out of here? This place is a maze.”

Boromir had an easy solution. “My brother is a personal GPS. I’ll grab him for you. Have you met him?” She shook her head; why did he need to grab his brother? As if he understood her unspoken question, he offered, “I have to speak at the opening of Gildor’s concert, on behalf of city hall, and Merry is about to escort Estella into the Hall, but my brother will gladly help you find your way out.”

Merry offered to help her find her way out, but she declined; she certainly didn't want to interrupt his date when there was another option. His name was Faramir, Merry told her, and when Faramir saw her, he thought she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever seen. He walked her outside where cabs were arriving due to the concert, leaving an abundance of choices to drive her home, and she thanked him profusely for his help.

He wanted to ask her why she was so sad, but knew it would be impolite, so he didn’t. His gentle, handsome face stared after her taxi for awhile after she'd left, pondering how he’d like nothing more than to help her smile and be happy.

His musings were interrupted by an “Excuse me.” The words belonged to a dark-haired man with stubble and scruffy hair. It suited him, though, Faramir supposed. “Have you seen a blonde woman? Tall, slender, long wavy hair?”

This man, Faramir knew instantly, was the reason she'd been crying. He debated not telling him, but it wasn’t in his nature to be dishonest. “I have. I helped her get a cab. She was quite upset.” And with that, he returned to find his seat at Gildor’s concert. Aragorn could clearly see the man’s displeasure, and he nearly flushed with embarrassment at his behavior.

He’d acted inappropriately, and he needed to make it up to her.

Difficulty was, when he got to her house, she wasn’t there.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Legolas thought about ignoring the insistent knocking at his door, wondering if it might be Gimli. But if he was honest, he hoped it would be Gimli; that was essentially what he hoped his new good luck stone would bring him, after all. But given how they'd almost fought with one another over the past couple of days, he felt reluctant to find out, feeling a bit regretful about his behavior and not knowing how to fix things.

Yet when he looked through the peephole, he saw it was Éowyn, and he was truly surprised, for she had obviously been crying and was incredibly upset. She hugged him as soon as he opened the door, and explained what had happened in broken sobs after they sat down in his living room.

They stayed up all night, talking about their respective hurts, and he led her to the guest room near dawn, as she was exhausted and had been falling asleep on his couch.

And he wondered if he needed to just swallow his pride; Aragorn obviously still loved Arwen based on everything Éowyn had said and all that he knew about his friend, but Gimli certainly loved _him_.  

Perhaps the good luck stone had brought him something after all.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

In a different part of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, Gimli and Sam worked through the night on their secret project. When it was finished, Sam stood proudly, impressed with the end result of their hard work. “I reckon he’ll like this. I reckon he’ll like it a lot.”

Gimli put his hand on Sam’s shoulder. “Thank you Sam. I completely agree. And thanks for all of your help. Let’s go home; you must be exhausted.”

Sam smiled shyly, almost. “Well, it was worth it. You’ll have to tell me how he reacts.”

“I will Sam. We’ll find out soon enough.”

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

As Éowyn fell asleep at sunrise, Bilbo woke up with a start. He’d fallen asleep in his favorite armchair, working on an herbal tea gardening book that he’d begun helping Hamfast Gamgee write, and now realized Thorin hadn’t come over. They hadn’t spent a night apart since their first night together, and they certainly weren’t always amorous, but it was strange not to have him around, and stranger still that he hadn’t called.

He contained his growing concern by telling himself that Thorin had probably fallen asleep at the office, but he couldn’t help worrying if something might have happened, and so he set about trying to find out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There will be another chapter with weekend events before returning to the scavenger hunt (and I think this story will probably end up being longer than I had originally thought, but we’ll see! I’ll update the number of chapters if it looks like it will be longer).
> 
> Cerin Amroth: Hill in Lothlorien that was host to various events, including Aragorn and Arwen pledging their troth
> 
> Valmar = Capital of Valinor
> 
> Bard’s children: In the book, only Bain is mentioned, but the movie adds the two girls, who are James Nesbitt’s (Bofur’s) real-life daughters (which I learned about after I looked up pictures of them to see how old they looked :-)
> 
> Kili's runestone: David Salo (Middle-Earth Linguist) says the runes on the stone given to Kili by his Dis likely translate to "Return to me" 
> 
> Occasional lines in this chapter are taken directly or slightly modified from the books and/or movies.


	9. Scavenger Hunt Interlude #2: Sailing and surprises and more

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Saturday after the first week of Scavenger-Hunting finds Bilbo having some bad luck and Aragorn finding himself in a messy situation. Éomer’s house-hunting takes a promising turn and then a detour, and Frodo is still being hunted by the Mouth of Sauron. At the Grey Havens Regatta, Fili and Arwen grow closer when they help Bard with his entry, and at the Silverlode Canoe Livery, Legolas grows more open to considering reconciliation with Gimli. The Mouth of Sauron begins putting the finishing touches on his Vineyard Valley Wine-Tasting Tour and Sauron isn’t entirely happy with what he sees. Thranduil and his wife Gwíneth host a dinner party that’s rudely interrupted, and for once Bilbo doesn’t get a headache, but unfortunately that’s because he already has one. And while he's certainly had much bigger surprises in the past, Bilbo isn't quite prepared for what he sees when he gets home.

Frodo basked in the early morning light drifting through the windows of Bilbo’s comfortable house on Bag End Drive, drinking his coffee and idly wondering how Merry’s date had gone the night before. But before he thought much further about that, his Uncle Bilbo came into the kitchen, a whirlwind of anxiety and bother. “Uncle Bilbo, are you alright? I know you slept in your armchair last night, did you sleep well?” Frodo was concerned, recognizing how distraught his uncle was.

“Frodo, my dear boy, I haven’t heard from Thorin since yesterday afternoon. I’m simply worried about him, I’m sure he just fell asleep at work. I’m off on my own little adventure to find him! I baked a bunch of scones yesterday and there’s raspberry jam in the fridge. There’s enough for Merry and Pippin, and possibly Bofur and the others if they come over today.” He glanced back at his nephew as he walked out of the room, “Make sure they stay out of the neighbor’s garden. Even though he offered his vegetables that one time, I don’t think it was an open invitation, and Merry and Pippin seem to forget that.”

With that Bilbo got ready to leave, putting on an old baseball-style cap embroidered with the logo of the _Khaz_ _â_ _d-Edhel-on-Hobbiton Writer’s Guild_ , as he was a bit embarrassed by the messy state of his hair but didn’t want to waste too much extra time.

“Uncle, I think you’re worried over nothing, remember that you said he probably fell asleep at work. He’s said enough times that he used to do that all the time.”

Bilbo sighed. “I know, Frodo, I know. But the Baggins part of me needs to make sure he’s ok.” Frodo understood, and as the younger Baggins dove into his Uncle’s delicious scones, the older Baggins drove away from his cozy house.

Bilbo hadn’t spent a night apart from Thorin since they’d gotten engaged, and Bilbo was uneasy. _Stay calm, don’t assume the worst, think about it logically_ he told himself. The worried part of him had flashes of a sudden heart attack as had befallen Thorin’s father and grandfather…. or _what if it was worse_ , maybe Thorin was a bit tired of him and wanted some space. But _no_ , the latter certainly wasn’t logical...but what if the former was true?

Before he reached LM2 headquarters, Thorin called and Bilbo breathed a tremendous sigh of relief, feeling a bit silly that he hadn’t tried to call him this morning, not wanting to wake Thorin up if he’d been resting. “Bilbo! I’m sorry, I fell asleep last night working on backlogged projects.” Thorin’s voice was warm and apologetic, and at first Bilbo was simply relieved to hear his fiancé’s voice, realizing with certainty that his worries had been unfounded, and the relief sounded in his voice. “It’s no trouble, that’s what I had thought.”

But then it sunk in, and Bilbo grew irritated. Not as irritated as he was when uninvited guests ate all of his food and set off fireworks in his backyard, but irritated nonetheless. “Thorin, I take that back. I was worried and you should have called. You can’t just not show up. It’s not right.”

Thorin understood. After all, if the roles had been reversed, Thorin’s gruff temper would have been on display. “I know, Bilbo, I know. I won't do it again. Can I make it up to you? I just need to swing by the Goblin King’s House of Costumes, and then we'll spend the day together, no work?”

“Thorin, do you know that he wants to have you be his guest of honor at his annual _Paths of the Dead Halloween Extravaganza_? I completely forgot to tell you that, I was going to call but got sidetracked by the herbal tea gardening book I’m helping Hamfast Gamgee with.” Bilbo felt badly about forgetting, as he would have been a bit annoyed had it been vice versa.

“No trouble, my love, he told me. I’m going to meet with him briefly, get it out of the way and see if it’ll be worth my while, though I doubt it. But he thinks it will be an opportunity for LM2 to do some free advertising, especially since the Scavenger Hunt will be airing then on the TLKN-network, so I was curious. I'll even look around and see if I can find us matching costumes for Halloween.”

Bilbo was a bit taken aback by that. Thorin Oakenshield didn’t seem to be the sort of person who would wear a Halloween costume, let alone one that would match his fiancé’s. But Bilbo also knew that love made people do unusual things, and he smiled when he thought of his True Love dressed in a costume matching his own. Thorin did want to make it up to him, and this was how he was starting. With a happy heart and a romantic tune he set off for home, waiting for Thorin to finish his quick meeting. But then he remembered that he needed to meet with Gwineth in a few hours to begin his wedding planning, and that would cut his time with Thorin short. So he turned his car around and headed for Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton’s enormous costume warehouse to surprise his love. It was a good time to shop there anyway, he decided, because adequate planning was never a bad thing, and even though the place was immense, October shopping guaranteed a wall-to-wall frenetic experience like no other.

When he arrived, the parking lot was relatively empty. The enormous store opened extremely early and stayed open extremely late, and Bilbo wondered for a moment if this place ever closed at all. But at least at this time of day, the costumed employees weren’t out in full force with their coupons and flyers and sales pitches. This might be the first time, in fact, that Bilbo would enter this store and not feel pressured to buy at least three unnecessary costumes.

He decided to take one of the elevators, as the stairs led to those winding IKEA-style paths that knew no end. Assuming the map was accurate, Bilbo thought that this this elevator would take him relatively close to where the Goblin King would probably be meeting with Thorin, in the Throne Room section of the huge store.

He got on the elevator and pressed the button for the appropriate floor. He was joined by some others, not paying attention to who they might be. The elevator lurched off, the darkness and random flashing lights and creepy music all part of the ambiance the Goblin King had created, when it came to a sudden halt.

 _Are you kidding me? Stuck?_ He pushed the button to the floor he wanted, but nothing.

“Pushes it again.” The voice near him asked.

“Yes, pushes it again!”

“Wait a moment, who’s there? Are you Sméagol and Gollum?” Bilbo couldn’t quite see them because the elevator ambiance made it a just a bit too dark, no lights flashing in this particular moment, but he was absolutely certain he recognized the voices.

“Why yes, how did you knowses us?”

“It’s me, Bilbo. Bilbo Baggins.” He frowned, a bit exasperated that he was stuck, and stuck with _them_. It wasn’t so much that he was afraid of them at this point, but more so that he found them a bit annoying, especially since Sméagol couldn’t keep his eyes off of his engagement ring once the flashing lights resumed their patterned display.

“Bagginses?” A pair of wide eyes drew closer to him, peering in the semi-darkness. “Hmm yes, Bagginses you are.”

“Yes, yes, I know I’m Baggins. I mean I know I’m Bilbo. Why are you here? Are you following me?” He thought Sméagol’s semi-stalking over their property dispute had ceased such a long time ago, but perhaps it was resuming?

The wide eyes shook rapidly. “No, nevers. We knows not to followses you anymore, Baggins. Didn’t recognize you in that hat.”

Bilbo touched his head. He’d forgotten he was wearing his Writer’s Guild cap pulled down low, covering the messiness of his hair.

“Ah.” At least he believed Sméagol, knowing that twin well enough to be relatively certain when he was telling the truth. Gollum…well Gollum seemed a bit more squirmy.

“Well, let me just call Thorin, luckily he’s in the building, and he’ll tell the Goblin King and get us out.” The twin brothers nodded their heads excitedly. This was definitely good luck.

They were all deflated when Bilbo couldn’t get a signal. And even more so when they realized that the Goblin King had cut some corners; the displayed elevator inspection certificate had expired four years ago, and the emergency call button was clearly broken.

A mere ten minutes later Sméagol was getting agitated, pulling at his lone three hairs atop his otherwise bald head. “What will we dooooo…..we’re stuckses, we’ll never gets out, we’ll starves, alls of us.”

Gollum slapped him, telling him to get a hold of himself. Bilbo was a bit taken aback. While the same thought had crossed his mind, he certainly wouldn’t have actually slapped the poor man. But they were twins, so perhaps it was different.

“Let’s just be calm, someone will figure this out eventually. Thorin will see my car in the parking lot and try to find me, but even if he doesn't, certainly someone will figure out that this elevator isn’t working.” He thought for a bit. “Why don’t we play a game to pass the time and get your mind off it Sméagol?”

“No!” He yelled, almost plaintively. “No more riddles! You’ll trickses me and makes it hard for me to answers them on the scavenger hunt on Monday, Bagginses!”

Bilbo shook his head. “No, no I won’t Sméagol. Why would I do that?”

Sméagol had an idea. “Let’s us plays I-Spy!”

Gollum started laughing, almost rolling on the floor. “How will we play I-Spy when there isn't much to sees!”

Bilbo chuckled a bit. “Well, there are a few things we can see, like….” Certainly there were skeletons and other decorations in here, but he decided he agreed with Gollum; an I-Spy game would be repetitive within five minutes. “Well let’s think of something, I certainly don’t want to just wait for it to open, and Sméagol, I think it would do you some good to get your mind off being stuck, you seem a bit claustrophobic.”

“Whatses on your phone, Bagginses? Is there a game on there that we’s can play?” Sméagol peeked over, trying to see the screen.

Bilbo shook his head. “No, I only have single-player games on here, and not very many. None of them are good for a group, I think.”

“Well, can I sees? Do you haves Angry Birdses? Everybody has that game, we can takes turns.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes. “Alright, but I don’t have that one, and before you say anything, yes I know that I seem to be the only person who doesn’t. I do have the knock-off, though, that game Saruman designed, _Enraged Crebain_. I’m in the snowy mountain levels right now with the stone giants. Do you want to take turns playing it? We could make this a contest or something to pass the time?”

“Yessss!” Sméagol and Gollum cried in unison. “That would be fun, Bagginses!”

“Bilbo” he muttered, “Call me Bilbo.”

“Ok, Bagginses, now who goes firsts? And what’s the prize?” Bilbo wasn’t sure who asked that; their voices sounded a bit too similar. “I don’t knows. Ten dollarses?”

The twins couldn’t agree, and started arguing about a good prize. Bilbo felt a headache coming on, and started to fish around in his pocket for his aspirin, hoping he had left some there.

“What’s in your pockets, Baggins?”

“Nothing, I’m just looking for some aspirin.”

Gollum glowered and Sméagol looked disappointed. The latter said morosely, “I was hoping you had some foods in there for us to eats.”

Bilbo rolled his eyes again. “I don’t have any food, but we’ve only been in here, what, twenty minutes! You’ve developed an appetite like Merry and Pippin, or Bofur and Bombur and all of their friends!”

Sméagol tilted his head, a bit confused. “So there isn’t any foods in your pocketses, Baggins?”

Bilbo closed his eyes, trying not to yell at the bald man, suddenly realizing that he wasn’t trying to be difficult, he just…. _was_ the way he was. “No, Sméagol, there’s no food. Just aspirin. I hope.”

Sméagol shrugged, and went back to arguing with Gollum about what the Enraged Crebain competition prize should be. Bilbo sat down on the floor of the elevator, sighing, hoping that it wouldn’t be too much longer until he was able to exit from the skillfully crafted Halloween-themed elevator that was a smidge too dark, slightly unnerving with the realistic decorative skeletons, and a little creepy, given the soundtrack of dripping water, howls, and random Howard Shore Halloween ditties.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Back at Bag End Drive, Frodo got ready to eat his second round of scones, grabbing a book to read under his favorite tree in the backyard, scones in hand, when the doorbell rang. Pippin, Merry and their new friend Bofur stood on the front porch, mischievous smiles accompanying all three. “Have you three become inseparable?” he asked with his own large grin, wondering to what he owed the pleasure of their company, hoping it wouldn’t involve anything that would annoy Uncle Bilbo too much.

“Well, we wanted to tell you about Merry’s date last night.” Pippin spoke first, almost too excited for words. They helped themselves to juice and scones and detailed Merry’s date with Estella. They gotten along marvelously, and Merry could hardly contain his anticipation for the LOST tv show marathon they were going to begin tomorrow.

“Well, I’m glad that you told me, but I’d like to meet her myself. When can I?” Frodo was excited as well, not realizing Pippin and Bofur hadn’t met her in person yet either. But soon enough Pippin told him that, and then the _other_ main purpose of their visit became clear.

“Frodo, we know the Mouth of Sauron keeps hitting on you, so we’re here to set you up on a date. Keep him out of your hair, hopefully.”

Frodo frowned. While he appreciated the gesture, it didn’t feel right. He didn’t want to go on a date with someone simply to create a barrier from The Mouth. “Besides,” he said softly. “I already agreed to go with him on a test run of his wine-tasting tour this weekend.”

“WHAT?!?” The trio around him spoke at once, loudly, their mouths collectively dropping open while they wondered how The Mouth had finagled this with Frodo.

Frodo shrugged. “He seems harmless, and I told him I’d be happy to go with him as friends, nothing more.”

“Frodo, dear lad,” Bofur suddenly spoke in a voice that sounded beyond even Balin’s years, “The Mouth likes you, he _really_ likes you, and certainly _he_ doesn’t want to be just friends.”

“Oh, you sound like Sam.” He waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. “I appreciate your concern, but I even asked Gandalf about it, and he agreed. Better to be nice to people.”

Merry’s eyes flew open. “Hah! There’s being nice, and then there’s going on a date-that-isn’t-a-date.”

Bofur and Pippin looked at Merry quizzically, confused by the long phrase, but Frodo understood and shrugged. “You aren’t giving him enough credit. Looks aren't everything, and I think he’s good-hearted underneath all the…..interesting uniqueness.” The others exchanged glances. It was certainly a unique way of tastefully discussing his poor personal hygiene and other facets of his external appearance. But they didn’t say anything. At this point, that would just be rude, and they all felt somewhat sorry for him in their own way. It was similar to how they felt sorry for Sméagol to some extent, given how lonely the man seemed, even around his twin brother. He’d essentially stalked Bilbo over property, but Bilbo seemed to think he deserved a second chance, and while they wouldn’t become best friends, they would give him the benefit of the doubt. But the same allowance to one of Sauron’s henchmen, a PR person at that, working in a field that required embellishment and half-deceit at times?

“Besides,” Frodo continued, “I haven’t been to Dol Goldur Estates before, and you have, and I’d like to see for myself if the wine is as mixed in quality as you said.”

“Frodo, I’m not sure spending time with a Scavenger Hunt competitor is a good idea.” Pippin and Merry nodded at Bofur’s wise comment. Sometimes Frodo was a bit naïve, too trusting in the assumption that others were good-natured.

But Frodo simply rolled his eyes. He was growing a bit tired of being the _proper_ cousin, the one who always did everything by the rules.

What was the worst thing that could happen?

“Frodo,” Merry paused, not quite certain how to phrase the question, “You don’t have a bit of a crush on him yourself, do you?”

Frodo’s eyes grew wide, almost as wide as Sméagol’s or Gollum’s might. No, _no_ he certainly _did_ not and _would_ not.

That, after all, seemed even more impossible than snow falling within the dormant volcano of Mount Doom.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

On Meduseld Drive, Éomer arrived for the morning’s inspection of the house he was under contract with. His bid had been accepted on Wednesday evening, and he wanted to move fast. He was excited to get his own place, especially given the situation with Gimli, and this house more than met his needs.

She walked up to him and shook his hand. “Hi, are you Éomer Éadig?”

“I am. You must be Lothíriel, the house inspector.”

She nodded, and began looking around the outside of the house. “Interesting, I haven’t seen a gold-colored roof for awhile. And you won’t need to worry about flooding, most likely, with the grading, but we can check to see for certain.” The historic house sat at the top of a yard that sloped on all sides, and it's age was a selling point for Éomer. He liked its antique character and the fact that it had housed generations of families before him.

They walked through the house, searching for possible problems in each room. There were some problems with drafts, and perhaps it was a bit too big for his needs, but overall nothing of serious concern. She told him she’d have the report ready by Monday afternoon, and that the house seemed it was built to last and would see many more years.

As they got ready to leave, Éomer found that he wanted to delay his departure; he wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye. “Say, are you related to Boromir, from city hall? You sort of resemble him.”

She smiled. “Good catch. Yes, he’s my cousin. Civil service actually runs in the family. My father, Imrahil, is a city councilman. He’s served District 5, Dol Amroth, for quite a few years. And my brothers work in government also.”

“Ah, but not yourself.”

“No, I suppose I could, if I was motivated by the right causes, but my father hasn’t been able to convince me. For right now, I like my job a bit too much.

They talked a bit about the scavenger hunt as well as Boromir, They stood at their cars, not quite knowing what else to say, when she was struck with a thought. “Say, my father is sailing in the regatta tomorrow, would you be interested in going?”

He certainly was, and they agreed to meet the next day. Then she worried a bit about the appropriateness of it, given that she was his house inspector, and decided she needed to check with her supervisor to make sure it wasn’t against company policy.

He was most disappointed when she called later and told him her supervisor said they couldn't see one another outside of a professional context until he took formal possession of the house.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

As morning turned to afternoon, Fili, Ori and Balin arrived at the Grey Havens Marina. They spotted Elrond and Arwen near the Mithlond Pier, boats and crews preparing for the next set of races.

“My sailboat, the Vingilótë II,” Elrond explained, “is named after my father’s, and my father is named after the legend of Eärendil. Sometimes they seem like they are one and the same, as they both sailed nightly without fail, although my father’s purpose was different…….” It was an impressive tale, and Balin and Ori listened eagerly to hear more, but Fili was too busy talking to Arwen to pay much attention. He and Ori had talked about Arwen after their impromptu concert in her favorite garden at the Rivendell Grand Hotel, each playing their respective instrument and singing _Far Over the Misty Mountains Cold._ Arwen had tears in her eyes by the end, an encore firmly requested and wholeheartedly given. They told her it was even better with Thorin singing the lead vocals, and she said she couldn't wait until she had an impromptu concert from him, but the trio of musicians tried to tell her that Thorin might not be _quite_ so interested in impromptu concerts, needing to be caught in the right mood at the right time. She couldn’t imagine it would be that difficult, never having met the CEO.  Then Ori encouraged Fili to pursue her, not _entirely_ due to his good-hearted nature, moreso because they had randomly run into Merry during an intermission of Gildor Inglorion’s concert. Merry let Ori know how wonderful his date with Estella was proceeding, giving all of the credit to Bofur, and excitedly let it slip that Bofur was already in the process of matchmaking for Ori next. Ori was intrigued by that, and decided he’d rather try his luck with that than duel for a woman that Fili seemed to be so interested in, especially since she seemed quite interested in return.

They watched a few of the Grey Havens Regatta races from their plush vantage point, as Elrond’s status as a dear friend to both Gil-Galad and Cirdan meant he could use their reserved seating area.

“Elrond!” It was Cirdan with Gil-Galad and a pair that Elrond didn’t recognize, and Elrond waved them over.

Cirdan stopped only briefly. “Can’t stop to chat, my friend, one of the entrants needs my assistance, and I’m off to provide it.”

Elrond thought that sounded like an unfair advantage. “Oh? Is that par for course given the rules?”

Cirdan brushed it off. “It’s a slow class, almost slow as barges, and I just need to help him fix it, certainly won’t give him any advantages.” Cirdan walked off, leaving Gil-Galad to make introductions. “Elrond, this is Celebrimbor, and this is Narvi.” He pointed to the tall thin man with fine features and long, silken dark hair and the shorter bearded man in turn. “Celebrimbor manages the revamped ring store downtown, the one Thranduil used to manage but now simply owns, and Narvi runs the Doors and More store next to it, also a Thranduil investment.”

“Nice to meet you, both of you.” He turned to his own guests. “This is my daughter, Arwen” with that introduction for the benefit of his new acquaintances, as Gil-Galad was one of his closest friends and he knew Arwen very well. “And these are her friends, Balin, Fili, and Ori."

They all sat and watched the race preparations and Master’s-class races, chatting amongst themselves, although everyone quickly noticed that Fili and Arwen seemed to direct their attention to each other.

“Fili!” Balin said louder. “Are you listening?”

Fili looked at the older man in confusion. He’d been staring at Arwen as she told him about a craft project she was making and he hadn’t heard a thing. Balin found it amusing, and repeated himself. “Fili, Celebrimbor was asking us if we’d like to commission rings for the scavenger hunt. He’d give us a discount; buy 3, get one free; buy 7, get two free, buy 9, get three free.”

Fili thought it was interesting, but he certainly didn’t want to raise Thorin’s ire by committing to such a decision without asking the LM2 CEO, and he said as much.

“But it would be a nice surprise. AZOG certainly wouldn’t do it.” Ori countered.

Celebrimbor looked like he was debating speaking, and then decided to. “Well, not sure if I should tell you this, but that’s not the case. Annatar Sauron has commissioned several sets of rings to commemorate the Scavenger Hunt. We’d make something completely different for you, and they don’t even need to be rings. Or Narvi could create something.”

“Doors?” Ori started to laugh despite himself. “Imagine that, AZOG giving out commemorative rings and us giving out commemorative doors! With the LM2 logo and inscriptions about how we’ve all become friends!” He laughed heartily at the thought of it, and then he felt badly. “I’m sorry, I’m certain the doors are wonderful, especially since I’ve heard Thranduil say you were marvelous at it, it just makes a funny image for a memento.” He flushed, feeling embarrassed for making light of Narvi’s profession, as he certainly didn’t mean it that way.

Luckily Narvi saw the humor in it also, and he laughed as well. “No offense taken. Celebrimbor and I could put our heads together and create a joint commemorative project; we’ve done that before and the results have been pleasing.” He looked at his friend fondly, and Fili started to wonder if they might be more than friends. It was hard to tell.

Gil-Galad spoke somewhat gravely. “Celebrimbor, I know we’ve just met, but I would be cautious around Annatar Saruon. I simply don’t trust him.”

“But certainly no harm could come from making rings for him. It’s just business, after all.” Balin spoke the thought that they all had.

Gil-Galad was pensive. “Sometimes innocuous things aren’t what they seem. But business is business, I suppose. I guess you could be right. Perhaps if he needed a boat, Cirdan would build it for him. But I still think I would counsel him against it. Someone like him, it’s best to stay away completely. He seems like he’s devious and out for himself with only his business empire interests at heart. I wouldn’t be surprised if his goal is to own all of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton.”

FIli heeded the warnings, but it was nothing new, and he was growing bored with this conversation, especially since Annatar Sauron wasn’t what he wanted to be talking about right now. So he asked Arwen if she’d like to take a walk to look at the boats. He gallantly held out his arm, which she gladly took, and they walked toward the water, trading stories about their siblings along the way. Fili was surprised how comfortable he felt around her, almost shocked when he told her he felt jealous of his brother, and that she felt the same about hers, for similar yet different reasons. While Fili felt like he lost his brother to marriage, Arwen felt her twin brothers had always been close to one another. While they dearly loved her and she knew it, she also knew the feeling of being inadvertently left out too well.

They came upon Cirdan, who was helping the Regatta entrant with his boat, and Fili instantly recognized him. “Bard! I didn’t realize you would be here!” He explained to Arwen that his brother Kili had spent countless hours at Bard’s Archery Range, and they’d both grown to know Bard quite well.

“Fili, nice to see you. Yes, I’ve entered my good old boat here, simply having a slight problem. Don’t want to have to pull out a paddle during the race, that would be more embarrassing than being slow as a barge!” He looked expectantly at Fili, expecting to be introduced to his beautiful companion, hoping that the good-hearted man had found someone who made him just as happy as Tauriel seemed to make Kili, or as his own wife made him.

Cirdan looked on curiously as well, patting his beard; he’d known Arwen for a long time, and it seemed she was interested in this fellow. And if Elrond seemed to sanction it, which he must, it was good enough for him. He was protective of her, for while Aragorn had treated her well, men tended to flirt shamelessly with her, and he worried about her being taken advantage of, especially if she wasn’t over her relationship with Aragorn yet.

Fili introduced Arwen to Bard, and Arwen introduced Fili to Cirdan. Then he set back to work on Bard’s boat. “Can we help at all?” Fili was already rooting for the archery range owner to win his race, and he wanted to assist in any way possible.

Cirdan was trying to fix the jib halyard, but first he turned his attention elsewhere, holding up a fish, smiling. “No unaccounted for passengers in this regatta, Bard; he’ll have to sit this one out.” He threw the fish overboard, and went back to work.

“I use this boat to fish in sometimes.  But more often transport them for friends.” Bard explained when Fili looked at him quizzically.

“If you fish as good as you shoot, I’m sure you’d have barrels of fish by the time you’re done.” Fili told Arwen how skilled Bard was, and she was most impressed.

“Well,” he said, “That remains to be seen.”

“Bard, will you hold this for me? And Arwen, can you stand over here?” Cirdan beckoned for both of them to help him. Fili offered his assistance as well, but Cirdan wasn’t having luck with the rope Bard had on board. Fili had no idea what exactly he was trying to fix, _jib halyard_ being such a foreign term, but it didn’t matter, since the instructions were clear and the others obviously knew what they were doing.

“Is it a matter of parts, Cirdan? Can’t you just put a new one in? Surely you have replacements here?” Arwen felt badly for Bard; while his class of race was for pleasure and a trophy, with no money involved, she certainly understood how much went into sailing at the Grey Havens, and she’d hate to see him have to withdraw.

“I can’t give him the part, Arwen. It would violate the rules.”

“But surely not if he paid for them. Why would that matter?” Fili was confused, and Cirdan agreed with him, he hadn’t considered that. Certainly that would be fine according to this regatta’s rules. And there was plenty of time until Bard’s race. Arwen knew what he needed, so he sent her and Fili to grab it at his store, Cirdan’s Boat and Marine. Cirdan decided to keep working on the problem while they ran the errand.

Cirdan was unfortunately not very organized in his storerooms, and they had trouble finding what they were looking for. Time ticked by, Arwen commenting at one point that she felt like she’d been looking for two days. Fili had to agree; he’d never seen such a mess. While he stored far fewer things at Longbeard’s Miniature Golf, they were impeccably organized. It didn’t help that he had no idea what he was looking for, even after Arwen described it; everything looked the same to him, especially since it was haphazardly here and there.

“I can’t believe a boat-builder with such a strong reputation has such a mess back here. How does he work?” Fili looked at Arwen, shaking his head in amazement.

“I’m not sure. He’s always been like this. He’s a bit eccentric, always been a bit different. Wears a beard when others don’t. That sort of thing. This seems the same sort of thing to me; be completely disorganized when others wouldn’t be, but it works for him.”

“Except when a person is trying to find a jib-thing under time pressure.” He smiled, leaning against the shelves he was searching. He’d been through them three times and was gazing at the opposite wall, trying to locate it there.

“I can see I’ll need to bring you to the Havens more often, you need to learn your sailing terms!” She began unstacking yet another pile, trying to find what they needed.

“Absolutely.” He stopped gazing at the shelves on the opposite wall, and started gazing at her.

She continued her sorting and searching, not looking at him while she talked. “And you’ll need to teach me how to golf. Can you believe I’ve never played before?”

“No, I still can’t believe that. But there’s a first time for everything, right?”

She nodded, intent on her searching, while he was completely distracted and only had eyes for her. She felt it, and turned. “What?”

Now he knew how Kili felt, and he felt lost and found at the same time. “I barely know you, but I feel like I’ve known you my whole life.”

She smiled at him. “That’s so corny and sweet at the same time.”

“So, after this, can I ply you with more sweet corny phrases?”

She didn’t hesitate at all. “Yes. I’d like that.”

Then he dropped to his knees and kissed her where she sat, the piles of sailing gear and parts completely forgotten.

It didn’t matter, however, that Fili and Arwen lost track of their quest, because while they searched, Bard and Cirdan realized that the problem couldn’t be fixed in time for his race. Cirdan had made a shocking discovery; additional parts were severed, and both he and Bard were convinced it meant only one thing: Sabotage. But it became clear very quickly that they were at a complete loss as to who or why.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Back at the _Goblin King’s House of Costumes_ , the elevator technician worked feverishly to get the elevator to move. It was stuck between two floors, and they couldn’t safely get the doors open to allow the occupants to get out. They’d been stuck for several hours at this point, and starting to get on each others' nerves. They’d never decided on a prize for winning the _Enraged Crebain_ tournament, Bilbo forcing everyone to just start playing, and now after several losing rounds Gollum was accusing the other two of cheating.

“Why would I cheat when there isn’t a prize!” Bilbo wasn’t sure he could take much more of this.

“You’re just jealous that Bagginses and I were winnings. Gollum needs better sportsmanships, you do.” Sméagol said it nicely, yet anxiously, his vocal tic seeming to sound out his brother’s name several times. Sméagol was kinder than his twin brother, and Gollum had said many far worse things to his twin already today, but Gollum didn't take feedback well, even when it was truthful.

“We’re supposed to be canoeing right nowses, it was your dumb idea to comes here anyways! Halloween is so far away! Whys did we need to come now!” Gollum was getting angrier, and Bilbo was getting more annoyed.

He sighed, thinking of all of the things he’d rather be doing right now. Which would be just about anything. Perhaps even taking another flight on Smaug airlines and spending the day stuck in a grounded airplane with the witty, cold-hearted flight attendants. He was supposed to be at the Greenwood Collection right now, Thranduil’s wife Gwineth helping him to begin plan his wedding. He felt extremely guilty for standing her up, even though it couldn’t be helped, and pondered if this was how Gandalf felt when he said he’d be somewhere but didn't make an appearance because something else got in the way.

“Bagginses!” Gollum interrupted his train of thought. _What now?!_ Bilbo wondered. “Do you still have aspirins in your pockets? I needs some if you do.”

“Yes, Gollum, of course.” And he fumbled around for some aspirin, but he couldn’t find any. “I’m sorry, Gollum, I seem to be out.”

“Ahhh! I can’t take this anymores!” Gollum turned in Sméagol’s general direction. “I hates you! You’re so annoying!”

Sméagol must have looked crushed, though Bilbo couldn’t really see, given the currently dark ambiance of the elevator, the flashing lights in the dark part of their patterned cycle. “Look, we’re tired, this is stressful, let's just all calm down and…”

“Baggins! I hates you too! We hates it, we hates it forever! You were cheating at that _Enraged Crebain_ game, you cheats at the Scavenger Hunt toos!"

Sméagol yelled back. “I don’t hates Baggins! He’s my friend!”

Bilbo had quite enough of the ups and downs of these two brothers, but he was a bit too polite to say anything.

“Right Bagginses? You’res my friend, right?” Sméagol was probably looking at him with imploring eyes, Bilbo thought.

He closed his eyes, almost in defeat. He didn’t want to lie; Sméagol certainly wasn’t his friend. But he also didn’t want to be rude. While he debated, Sméagol posed another question. “See Gollum? Bilbo will let me wear his engagement ring, that will proves that we’re friendses!”

Bilbo was startled out of his thinking. “Um, Sméagol, I don’t see how that would prove that we’re friends. Friends don’t generally try on one another’s rings.”

Gollum agreed. “Yes, Baggins is rights. That’s silly, Sméagol!”

“But I likes it.” Sméagol whispered plaintively. “It’s precious. I’d let’s you try on mines, if I hads one.”

Bilbo raised the muscles in his forehead as high as they would go, trying to relax and decide what to say. “Well, Sméagol, that’s very generous of you. But I think Thorin wouldn’t like someone else trying on the ring he gave me.” He thought a bit more. “It wouldn’t be a tradition in his family, to share rings. They're meant for One and One only, especially since they aren't very keen on rings in the first place.”

Sméagol started to cry, plaintively. “Everybody’s hates Sméagol. Everybodys. Hateses me.”

After a few minutes of this, Bilbo couldn’t take it anymore. “I don’t hate you, Sméagol. Here, you can try it on. But just give it right back.”

Sméagol sniffled, and Gollum rolled his eyes. “But I can’t really sees it. Can I tries it on when we gets out of heres?”

“Yes Sméagol.” He sighed. “Well, how about a round of twenty questions? No winners, no prizes!” He tried to forestall more arguing about winners and losers and prizes.

They considered, and agreed. “Yes, just for fun, Baggins.”

And so the new game began, Bilbo dearly hoping they’d get out of this predicament sooner rather than later.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

After Éowyn woke up in Legolas' guest room in the early afternoon, Legolas made her a sandwich for lunch. Then the friends decided to spend the day together, first going horseback riding at her Uncle’s ranch, followed by canoeing at Lothlórien’s _Silverlode Canoe Livery_. Legolas had some groupons he wanted to use; the Livery was doing some heavy advertising to tie into the Grey Havens Regatta this weekend.

They set off for Rohan Ranch, each feeling much better than they had the previous evening, largely due to the mutual comfort they found in one another’s presence. “How is your uncle, anyway?” Legolas wondered, worried for Théoden’s health, as he’d been steadily declining. Legolas had very mixed feelings about Éomer moving back to Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, because while it had produced challenges with his relationship with Gimli, Éomer had already done a lot to help Éowyn with the management of the Ranch. It was simply too much for one person to manage on her own.

“He’d be doing better if it wasn’t for Saruman, I think. He’s been having Saruman come over for private counseling sessions. And do you remember Grima Wormtongue?”

Legolas shook his head; the name didn’t ring a bell.

“He’s the RN who used to live with my uncle. They had a bad falling out. My uncle used to say that he was absolutely psychopathic. And now he’s here again, I just can’t believe it. Saruman convinced my uncle that Grima's changed and to hire him as his nurse. But he’s not doing any better; I think he’s worse. And he’ll only listen to Grima now. Turns to Grima for everything. I wonder if Grima and Saruman are trying to swindle him out of the ranch or something, it doesn’t feel right.”

They were distracted from the conversation as they pulled into the Ranch’s large parking area, Éowyn and Legolas turned to one another as they noticed the same thing. Aragorn was there, his car parked a few spaces over from theirs.

“Do you still want to go? We have a canoe ride waiting.”

She took a deep breath, considering. “Have to face him sometime, right?”

Legolas nodded silently. He knew Aragorn well, and while he thought it was a complete mistake for him to date Éowyn, he also knew his friend was noble at heart, and he hoped that he would make things right.

If he didn’t….well, then he’d have to reconsider his opinions and more. He already wanted to give Aragorn a lecture, but knew Éowyn would be livid; she was the type of person who needed to stand up for herself.

They walked to the riding fields near the stables, expecting to see Aragorn with Hasufel, whom he'd nicknamed Brego, but he wasn’t in sight.

“Hmm, that’s strange.” And then Éowyn shrugged; perhaps he was inside with her Uncle Théoden.  Aragorn used to work at the Ranch before he’d gone to college, and he and Théoden had a strong relationship at that time.

Imagine her shock, then, when she saw the scruffily handsome man looking even more scruffy than usual, covered head to toe in manure.  He saw them, meeting their eyes and smiling wanly. “I’ve been helping your uncle, well, actually helping you, doing the tasks he said you like least, and….I fell.”

It was fitting somehow, she thought, that he was covered in manure, and she burst out laughing at the sight of it, not _at_ him, but at the sight of it. “Are you alright?” Legolas whispered to her, surprised that she was finding it funny, but then he started laughing too.  Surely this was the dirtiest he’d ever seen his friend, even dirtier than the time they’d competed in the obstacle course Warrior Dash race and he was covered head-to-toe in mud. He'd fallen then also; did he have bad luck or was he just clumsy? Or, was it just deserts?

And then Aragorn started talking, contrite and truly apologetic, for he’d spent the night talking with Gandalf and _truly_ realized that he’d been a horse’s ass to her twice, and he didn’t want to do that again, ever. “I’m sorry, Éowyn, for how I’ve mistreated you. You deserve so much better than what I’ve done, and this is just the start of me making it up to you. And I understand if you don’t want to be with me anymore, but I certainly would love if you would give me one last chance.” And he meant it; he'd try much harder.

She was surprised at that; she’d sworn to Legolas that it was _over_ , that she couldn’t bear being second-place in someone’s heart. But she wavered. Perhaps it could change, perhaps it could be better.

 _No_. Aragorn didn’t love her, not in the way Gimli loved Legolas. Gimli might have had a one-night encounter with Éomer before the ginger-haired man started dating Legolas, but if there might be any hope, the slivers were in _that_ relationship, not this one.

“Aragorn, I appreciate that, and I accept your apology."  And she wavered again.  "I'm not sure, but I think it might be best if we just tried to be friends.”  While she had steeled herself to be the one dumped, it felt nice to have the option to do the dumping.  But most of her still yearned to be with him, and she wavered again yet said nothing.

He gave her a quick nod, his face clearly showing that he wanted another chance, partially to show her and himself, that he was noble. But more so to show her that he cared, more than she realized, he imagined, no matter his feelings for Arwen. “Well, if you change your mind, let me know.” And he meant that too. He’d wait and see what happened with her, and try to work on whatever had led him to be callous and rude, for that certainly wasn’t the image of the person he wanted to be.

Aragorn continued his manure-cleaning, and Éowyn and Legolas wondered yet again how on Arda that could have happened, and how he might actually get clean. Then they rode Windfola and Arod near the woods, Aragorn declining because Brego didn’t want _that_ mess in his saddle.

They asked if he’d like to go canoeing with him, Éowyn being somewhat relieved when he declined due to the chores he wanted to complete for her. She and Legolas left for Lothlórien, stopping for lunch at _The Three Brothers_ , a rustic yet majestic restaurant that was crafted to look as though it sat in a massive tree, much as the rustic cabins did. Neither of them had eaten before at the restaurant nor met its namesake owners, Haldir, Rumil and Orophin. But while they were initially cool and businesslike, they quickly became more friendly, and the food was delicious, a collection of traditional favorites that seemed to come directly from the cookbooks of years past.

They were surprised to learn that Haldir ran the Silverlode Canoe Livery as well, and when he took them over to it, they were even more surprised to see Gimli’s ex-girlfriend, Galadriel. Haldir told them that she and her husband owned the _Lorien Cabins_ , those quaint and marvelous small structures that seemed to be set into the trees, and suddenly Legolas wished he hadn’t come here today. And when he saw who was with her, Gimli and Sam, he wished so even more.

“Gimli, Sam! What are you doing here?” Éowyn had looked to Legolas before she asked, and he gave her a silent nod that it was ok.

“Well, Miss Éowyn, we’re here to try to overcome our fear of water. Both of us are nervous, and we both reckon it ain’t right or good to be afraid of water. We decided last night…” And he stopped, remembering that he didn’t want to disclose _why_ they had been talking last night, learning a tremendous amount of information about one another while they worked on Gimli’s secret project for Legolas.

“Last night what, Sam?” Éowyn smiled gently at him, encouraging him to continue.

“Oh, it wasn’t nothing, Éowyn. Me and Gimli, we just spent some time together, that’s all.” He blushed, and Éowyn didn’t press any further, not seeing any need to.

Galadriel looked expectantly at Gimli, wanting to be introduced to his friends. She had greatly enjoyed meeting Sam today, and wanted to meet these people as well, suspecting that the tall blond was Legolas. She had once again tried to offer Gimli relationship advice, as she had when she, Éomer and Gimli had dinner at the BALROG BBQ, and he continued to refuse.  Gimli didn’t notice Galadirel’s subtle attempts to get his attention to make introductions, because he couldn’t stop staring at Legolas.

If Legolas had decided anything during his heart-to-heart with Éowyn, it was that he wanted to take more of Frodo’s approach to heart, and resolve to be kinder while standing up for himself. So instead of being cold and distant, or thinking of a barb to throw Gimli’s way, neither of which he wanted to do anyway, he responded with a tentative smile.

Haldir provided instruction to Sam and Gimli, each of them nervous about canoeing, although they showed it in different ways. Gimli became more gruff and pensive, and Sam showed a fierce determination to force himself into the boat with Gimli, even as his anxiety was clear.  They canoed down the Anduin, thoughtful and quiet, and time passed slowly yet quickly.

After the canoe rides were over, both Sam and Gimli greatly appreciating Haldir’s help and instruction, Gimli moved over to stand by Legolas, finding his own courage waning slightly as this moment was upon him. But he rerighted himself and pressed onward; if he and Sam could start to conquer their fear of water, certainly this couldn’t be too much worse. And it would be better to try than not. He had faith that he and Legolas belonged together, and he simply needed to convince Legolas of that, and he was willing to do whatever it took. “So, I was wondering….Well, I have something I’d like to show you. If you’re willing, of course.”

Legolas, unfortunately, didn’t want any additional concrete displays of affection, cards or poems or bouquets. “Gimli, I’ve thought long and hard, and….”

“And?” Gimli felt his heart flutter in his chest and then drop; he knew what Legolas was going to say.

Legolas thought then that it was probably unlikely that the good luck stone Kili gave him had brought his dearest friend back to him.  Yet its symbolism combined with the previous night of heart-to-heart with Éowyn made everything more clear. But no matter what he told himself, he couldn't get past it. He knew Galadriel eloped because Gimli wouldn’t marry her; perhaps the one-night with Éomer was just another piece of evidence that he had different ideas about commitment. It was confusing, but no matter what, either sex meant little to his friend, or he still had feelings for Éomer, and he suspected the latter was true. It just didn’t feel right. He wanted Gimli to be devoted to him, to him alone. Having a fling before they started dating wasn’t devotion, he thought. “And I want us to go back to being friends. I care about you, and I know you care about me, but I don’t want to lose our friendship. Dating is just too complicated.”

Gimli gave him a strange look that he couldn’t quite translate. “I’ll do whatever you want, Legolas. But I still want to show you something, it’d be something I’d like us to do together, regardless of what happens. If you’re willing?”

The tall blond thought about it; slightly worried it was yet another attempt to win him back, and he just didn’t want that right now. “I don’t know….”

“Please? It’s important to me. Not simply to win you back, but to show you that I want to make amends. Regardless of what happens. You know I want you back, but I’ll do whatever you want.”

It felt more sincere than anything they’d talked about in their limited discussions after the disclosure of his one night with Éomer before the short ginger-haired man started dating  Legolas, and Legolas decided _why not_. Éowyn wasn’t certain it was a good idea, but she also wasn’t certain that it wasn’t. So she took Gimli’s car and planned to drop Sam off at home.  Sam could barely contain himself on the way home, uncharacteristically wanting to tell her what they had done, and Gimli and Legolas headed off to their own destination, home of Gimli’s secret project.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

Outside the stuck elevator at the Goblin King’s House of Costumes, Thorin grew more and more furious. “I don’t understand why this is taking so long; it’s an elevator! Who gets stuck in an elevator for hours on end?!”

The technician was apologetic. “It happens. It’s unusual, but it happens. Trust me, we’ll get them out of there. It’ll just take some more time. It’s a really rare problem that made it stop, and we want to be careful. If we do the wrong thing, the elevator will drop to the bottom of the shaft.”

Thorin’s eyes widened. “What?! Why didn’t you tell me before that it was that delicate. If something happens to Bilbo, I swear….” He stopped short of threatening the technician, knowing that would go nowhere, but he’d lost his deliberate patience about an hour ago, when he heard the screaming and arguing within the elevator. Luckily none of it sounded like Bilbo, but _still_. He’d called Gwineth, letting her know what had happened and why Bilbo had missed his wedding planning appointment. At that time, he thought it would be impossible that they would miss the dinner party she and Thranduil were throwing this evening, but as the hours passed by, it started to look more and more possible that Bilbo would be in the elevator instead of at the evening get-together.

At least the Goblin King had shown some decency and consideration, phoning Thorin when they finally determined who was stuck in the elevator. Thorin hadn’t realized Bilbo’s car was parked out front when he left the store, as the parking lot had grown packed, and it was a huge lot in the first place. He’d been puzzled when he got to Bilbo’s house and no one was home, but decided something must have sidetracked him, and then remembered he might be at his wedding planning meeting at the Greenwood Collection. Bilbo didn't want Thorin to go to the first few meetings, as he was excited to review endless options and knew Thorin was too impatient for that. So Thorin went back to work, trying to untangle himself from his backlog of projects, generally keeping any residual worry in the back of his mind.

Thorin strode in his confident manner to the Goblin King’s Throne room, located near the stuck elevator. “Why don't you maintain your elevators?”

The Goblin King looked at him, trying to think of a way to divert the conversation away from his somewhat shoddy business practices. “You know, you and I are similar. You have your kingdom, I have mine.”

Thorin leaned back, waiting.

“And I shall give you this.” He walked over to the side of his throne, pulling out a box from underneath, “It’s a collector’s item. It would make a fabulous addition to a Halloween Costume.”

He passed it to Thorin. “A sword? It's nice, but what I really need is to get Bilbo out of that elevator.”

“Yes, yes, yes. Of course. Look, for awhile there no one had any idea he was in there but now we do, and we’ll get him out. Yes we shall.”

Thorin rolled his eyes. He still didn’t quite understand the Goblin King’s motivation for wanting him serve as guest of honor for his Halloween Extravanganza, and this additional interaction was making him realize that this large man was a challenge to understand.

“The sword, Thorin. It’s worth a lot of money. William and Bert and Tom gave it to me, they found it. It’s quite a treasure. Though not as much of a treasure as your Bilbo Baggins is, I’ll grant you that.”

What use would he have for an expensive Halloween prop that was engraved with _Orcrist_ on the side? It was nice, he supposed, but what he _really_ wanted was Bilbo out of the elevator, and he made sure the Golbin King understood that.

G.S., the Goblin Scribe, came up to them at that moment. “The elevator, it’s fixed. They’ll be out in a couple of minutes.”

Thorin was relieved. He was waiting outside the elevator when it was opened, and Bilbo was most happy to see him, welcomed by a warm and deep kiss that made Sméagol wish he had someone to greet him like that, but he didn’t. So he settled for his friend, The Goblin King, who took an unwanted hug while Gollum rolled his eyes, and then the crowd dispersed.

On the way home, Gollum spoke frankly to Sméagol. “Sees? He’s not your friendses. He didn’t let you tries on his ring after we gots outs.”

“Oh. I forgotses. He forgotses too, I’m sureses.”

“No he didn’t. See? He just doesn’t likes you.”

“Stops it Gollum. He does too. Baggins is my friend nowses.”

Gollum rolled his eyes. His brother was too naïve, too trusting.

“I’ll shows you, Gollum. I’ll asks him again, and he’ll let me.”

“Bets you he doesn’t.”

They agreed to that bet, and started arguing again about what the prize would be for the winner, thoughts of Bilbo Baggins and his engagement ring forgotten.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

As Bilbo was finally freed from the elevator, Gimli drove Legolas’ car to the location of his secret project, heart hammering in his chest, the drive passing quickly yet uncomfortably. As they headed towards the airport, Legolas asked if that was the destination, but Gimli simply shook his head. They approached a less scenic area just east of the airport, finding a place to park, and Legolas realized where they were going. _Ithilien_. It was a desolate place, once a glorious forest that had been ravaged by negligent tree harvesting practices and a forest fire two years ago. When Legolas thought of changing careers, one option that came to mind was restoring places like these, but everyone would tell him it paid nothing and seemed impractical, so he never seriously pursued it.

He chuckled, finding dark humor in the idea that they were here. “A metaphor for the state of our relationship?”

“Exactly.” Gimli smiled and Legolas was confused; he certainly didn’t _want_ things to be desolate, and he’d been trying to be funny. “Follow me.”

Gimli led him to one of the more ravaged sections. More correctly, what _had been_ one of the more ravaged sections. For amidst the desolate expanse of cracked and bare soil was one section that now looked very different. And when Legolas saw it, what Gimli had brought him here to see, his above average eyesight being just as keen as his hearing, he stopped in his tracks.

The landscape was filled with newly planted trees and flowers. An abundance of rare and sweetly scented elanor, lissuin, niphredil, mallos and alfirin. They were planted to resemble the night sky, the star-shaped yellow flowers of the elanor plants particularly plentiful and fitting. The plants traced the paths of constellations, with Gimli’s handcrafted garden stakes standing in place of stars, glittering in the sunlight as keenly as the timeless, faraway lights of midnight hours.

Assorted fir and spruce and pine trees were planted around the perimeter, but that wasn’t what caught Legolas’ attention. Rather, it was the extremely rare and even more fragrant evergreens that caught his eye, the lairelossë with its beautiful white flowers planted amidst nessamelda, oiolairë, taniquelassë, vardarianna and yavannamírë.

To the side of the entirety of the new greenery in its own intended clearing was an even more rare mallorn sapling, planted by Sam’s talented hands.

Legolas knew that there were few things dearer to his heart than something like _this_ , the beginnings of a rejuvenated Ithilien.

“Gimli, it’s beautiful.”

“Ah, I can’t take all the credit, Sam helped me from the start to the end, and Mr. Treebeard and Mr. Quickbeam helped a lot as well.  And your parents helped me locate the plants and trees.”

“But it was your idea.”

Gimli nodded, silent as they gazed upon his gift to Legolas.

He was hesitant to tell him more, for he wanted it to be clear that this was a gift for now and for the future, without any strings or obligations attached. But it also wasn’t _just_ that, and he wasn’t a dishonest person at heart. This was a time to start anew, and being clear and honest would certainly be part of regaining Legolas’ trust, even as he knew he hadn’t lost all aspects of it, just one specific facet of it. “We planted trees for each year I’ve known you, and they represent special occasions too.” He listed what those were, but more importantly focused on the more symbolic meaning, such as how the grouping of fir trees represented honesty and friendship, the nessamelda joy of song and dance, or the to-be-borne fruits of the yavannamírë representing rebirth and growth of the forest.

It was the same for the flowers, too, how lissiun eased the heart, or alfirin representing the immortality of relationships and love.

Legolas listened appreciatively to his friend, who was able to speak freely and deeply; no rehearsal had gone on here. “You’ve been listening to me when I talk about plants and trees and stars.”

“How could I not?” And then he dove into what was deepest in his heart. “I’d like us to work on this together, no matter what happens. It’s a good project, I think.” Legolas nodded, _of course_ it was. And then Gimli went on. “Over there on that small hill, I’ve saved a place for two trees.” He’d named the hill Ezellohar, and there were two stakes, one silver, _Telperion_ , and one gold, _Laurelin_. “The silver stake…” and he paused, not sure if he should say it, but then decided _why not_ , “is for a placeholder for a tree to be planted if we get engaged, and the gold for if we get married.” And with another deep breath, “which is my heart’s wish for sometime in the future, and I’ll wait as long as you need. Forever, if that’s what it takes.”

Legolas was completely taken aback; he hadn’t been expecting _this_. “But what if I’m never ready? What if I want to date someone else? Not that I do, its just….” He trailed off, not being able to put words to what he was feeling.

Gimli didn’t _want_ to say that didn’t matter, for it wasn’t true, and he didn’t _need_ to say that the two trees represented his realization that he truly wanted more with Legolas than he’d ever wanted with anyone else, a different world entirely, the start of something completely new and powerful and different, but Legolas _knew_. “I’ll do whatever you want, and I meant it. And I also mean to show you can trust me in all ways. This is just one thing, Legolas. It’s a gesture, for sure, but when I was working on it, I realized this isn’t going to win you back, it’d be the little things that happen every day that show you.” Like not staring at beautiful women, Gimli thought to himself. Thinking more clearly about how Legolas would feel, which he generally did better than anyone else, but when he fell short, it was disastrous. “This will remind me of that, but it’s so much more than that. It goes beyond you and me.”

It was sincere and heartfelt, and somehow Legolas felt Gimli’s dedication was ironclad. When his friend set his mind to something, it didn’t waver, and he knew he’d never waver again. He’d made his choice, that Legolas would be the One that he would love, and Legolas felt some sort of weight lift from his heart.

“Alright. I’d like you to wait. But I don’t know how long, and I can’t guarantee….” He trailed off again, not knowing what else to say.

“One thing at a time, Legolas. Right now isn’t the right time. No matter what, I’m going to show you that you can trust me. But let’s just work on regaining our friendship, I certainly don’t want to lose that.”

Legolas nodded. He didn’t either. And they sat for awhile, simply enjoying the new growth in what had been a desolate place just a day before, knowing there was hope for them yet with time, nurturing, care, and consideration.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

As Saturday afternoon moved onward into Saturday evening, Frodo pulled up to Dol Goldur Estates in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton’s Vineyard Valley. He’d seen his Uncle Bilbo before he left, feeling badly that he had been stuck in the Goblin King’s elevator for so long. That didn’t turn out to be a very good adventure, remembering his Uncle’s comment from the morning. What had been a Thorin-finding mission had turned into something completely unexpected, certainly not how his Uncle would want to spend his Saturday. Frodo could tell from Thorin’s warmth towards Bilbo that the LM2 CEO planned to assuage his fiancé’s stress in intimate ways, and Frodo thought for an instant that he was _never_ more glad that he had plans. While he loved his Uncle Bilbo dearly and was undeniably happy that he had found Thorin to love, Frodo hoped to never be in the same house as his Uncle when he was in a romantic mood with his fiancé. Thus far he had succeeded, perhaps because Uncle Bilbo felt similarly and was incredibly discrete, but while they talked of a tremendous number of things, they were both too reserved to discuss intimate romantic matters openly.

Perhaps he should try to find a roommate, he thought. Bilbo could use the privacy, he was sure. But he loved his Uncle dearly, and wasn’t sure he was quite ready to leave home.

His thoughts were interrupted by The Mouth of Sauron, beckoning to him from across the parking lot. “Frodo, over here!”

The Mouth introduced Frodo to some of the Dol Goldur Estates staff, as well as the owner, Mr. Nec. R.O. Mancer. While Frodo had grown used to The Mouth of Sauron’s unique persona, he certainly wasn’t prepared to meet Mr. Mancer, an intimidating, shadowy man who would disappear at the drop of a hat.

The Mouth was unfazed by Mr. Mancer, however, and that calmed Frodo’s nervousness. They ate dinner on Dol Goldur’s East terrace, Frodo being forewarned by his friends that the _Orc Draught_ was a particular misstep, so he was able to politely avoid drinking it.  He was surprised that he was having a good time, aside from the sometimes-sub par wine and food. The Mouth had a lot of things to say, and some of them were actually funny.

It became less funny, however, when they began The Mouth’s practice run for his wine-tasting tour. They arrived at Ettenmoors Cellars, tasting the _Barrow Chenin Blanc_ , Frodo remarking that the taste was so light it was almost a ghostly whisper on his palate. The Ettenmoors was Angmar’s favorite haunt, and he was having dinner with Annatar Sauron in the Tyrn Gorthad room. Angmar spotted Frodo with The Mouth and remarked to Sauron that he was impressed with the keen intelligence the PR man must be gathering from the competition.

“Bah! He’s not gathering intelligence, he’s gathering stars in his eyes!” Annatar Sauron glowered, his eyes almost glowing red with anger.

“What do you mean?” Angmar whispered in his barely audible but commanding tone.

“Are you blind? He’s been fawning over that one since the Scavenger Hunt started. You should have seen him trying to flirt with him on the Barad-Dûr hiking trail. Ridiculous! I’m going to go tell him to cut it out.”

Angmar fiddled with the gold crown pendant he wore around his neck. “I hardly think you can direct his activities when he’s not working. It’s his own time, he can do what he likes, within reason of course.”

“No, not true. He’s my PR man, he never stops working. He's never off the clock. And I’m certain he _is_ here on business, testing out his wine-tasting tour menu.” Sauron stood up to go interrupt The Mouth’s conversation with Frodo, but he was stopped by Angmar’s hand on his arm.

“Wait, Annatar. Some good could come out of this. You never know when you might benefit from having a spy, after all. The Mouth’s loyalty will forever be yours, and it might be used to your advantage someday.”

Sauron sat back down, pondering the comment. “Perhaps. But I’m not entirely convinced. He’s not doing this to spy, he’s doing this to flirt. Very different.”

Angmar shrugged. He spoke yet again in his whispery voice. “What does it matter? Now, let’s go back to designing these rings that you commissioned, a much better use of our time than nitpicking what The Mouth is up to.”

Sauron scowled, but obliged his right-hand man, turning his attention back to Celebrimbor’s design proposals.

Neither of them noticed Gandalf, sitting at the bar with his pipe, sipping his _East of the Shire_ cocktail and listening thoughtfully.

 

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

 

South of Vineyard Valley, in an exclusive area of Mirkwood, Glóin and his wife Nuris pulled into Thranduil and Gwineth’s large circle drive. “I’d forgotten that this isn’t a house, it’s a fucking palace!”

While Nuris didn’t care for his language, she had to agree; the place was huge. They’d been to the property before, having occasionally dropped Gimli off to see his best friend when he was too young to drive, but they’d never forged a strong relationship with Legolas’ parents and had never been inside the house.

Thranduil and Gwíneth’s home was certainly more than just a house. Nestled near the edge of Mirkwood off Old Forest Road, it was an estate with very few neighbors, rivaled in size by Elrond Peredhel’s in the Valley of Imladris, another sparsely populated subdivision within Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton. And like their counterparts that named their expensive homes, Dr. Peredhel christened his _The Last Homely House_ , and Thranduil simply called his _The Halls_. This was duly noted by Glóin and Nuris, and they might have wondered about the pretentiousness of it had Thorin not nicknamed his own house _The Kingdom Under the Mountain_ when he'd come into his fortune during the recent spiraling of stock in fine gem mining, one of LM 2’s specialties.

They rang the doorbell, looking at one another and almost laughing when the chime rang with what seemed to be tranquil sounds of the forest; it certainly wasn’t the type of doorbell they’d have themselves. But they had perfect composure when the door was opened by an ageless gentleman with long hair. Who seemed a bit tipsy.

“Galion, at your service.” He bowed, his long hair sweeping downwards as he did so, and he wobbled a bit when he tried to stand back upright.

Glóin was pleasantly surprised; it was rare these days to hear such a traditionally superb greeting. But then Dwalin came over and slapped Galion on the back. “I taught him already, good for the lad to know the proper greeting etiquette in our social circle.”

“Care for a drink?” Galion lifted his glass, toasting nothing in particular and then taking a sip, placing a friendly arm around Dwalin and leading them through the large house. “Come, follow me, we’re having the party in the woods out back.”

Glóin lifted his eyebrows to Nuris, grabbing her hand affectionately and whispering. “Good thing they’re both drunk, I know Dwalin loves a good party but he’s usually not so friendly with people he just met. Hope this guy knows he’s married!” He laughed, and Nuris stared at him, a bit puzzled; it didn’t seem _that_ funny. “This might be more fun than Bilbo’s party! Oh, you missed the best gathering ever!” She lifted an eyebrow; he’d been so drunk he couldn’t remember a thing. But he hadn’t done anything like than in at least 15 years, so she tried to refrain from rolling her eyes when she picked him up the next day. “And it’s been a long time since we’ve had dinner in the woods, remember that romantic evening we had?”

“We’ve never had dinner in the woods! An underground cavern, maybe, or in the Blue Mountain Resort, but not in the woods. Are you thinking of some old girlfriend?” She glared a bit at her husband, partially joking, partially not.

“Never! There’s only been you!” She knew that wasn’t true; he dated others before they married, just like Gimli did, just like she did, but she _did_ know she was the only one her dear Glóin _loved_ , and vice versa, so she let it go. Besides, she supposed, there was always the very slim chance that _she_ was forgetting some dinner they’d actually had in the woods.

They walked a winding route to the doors that led to the back of the house, passing by various large rooms. Glóin was impressed by the craftsmanship of the furniture, particularly the hand-carved chairs that were found throughout, seeming to be made of branches woven together. Nuris marveled at the sheer expanse of it all. “More impressive than I thought, even based on what Gimli told us; he certainly spent enough time here growing up. Look at this place. Might as well be a castle fit for a king. Complete with a dungeon.” They laughed.

When they reached the back, they saw the others had already gathered; Thorin and Bilbo, Dwalin, Balin, and Bombur and their wives, Dori, and, of course, Thranduil and Gwíneth. Bilbo looked a bit haggard, but he seemed to be having a good time, so they thought little more of it.

There was a bonfire and a harpist, and green and white lanterns that glittered like jewles in the beech and oak trees. The table was set with fine crystal and china, with quaint bouquets of wildflowers tucked into empty wine bottles. Everyone looked to be having a fine time, minus Thorin, who was scowling a bit, but Glóin wasn’t surprised by that. The LM2 CEO and Thranduil got along better now, but they certainly weren’t best friends. Dinner parties of this sort weren’t Thorin’s element, although he could certainly conduct himself with exquisite etiquette, complete with manners fit for a King’s table.

Thranduil came over to greet Glóin and Nuris, showing them the appetizer table and offering various wine vintages as well as dandelion fritters and dandelion lemonade. Glóin grimaced and tried his best to be polite and pretend to like it. Nuris didn’t have to pretend; she thought everything was unique and had delicious flavor. Thranduil motioned towards the table that Bilbo was standing at. “And my wife, if you’re interested, is showing Mr. Baggins photographs of Legolas and Gimli when they were younger, from their elementary school days.”

Their eyes lit up. This was certainly a treat, for while they had their own collection of similar photos, it’d been awhile since they’d pulled them out. They made a beeline for Bilbo and Gwíneth, fondly remarking on the changes time had wrought, and on the not-so-timeless hairstyles each of their sons sported in the pictures. Nuris and Gwíneth felt somewhat saddened that they hadn’t gotten to know each other better when their sons were friends at that age, but Bilbo astutely remarked that there was no better time than the present.

Thranduil interrupted the reminiscing, calling for a toast to their current and future scavenger hunt success. They had just sat down to eat their first course, a slight breeze carrying the fragrance of flowers from nearby gardens, when they heard loud voices in the nearby forest.

“I told you, it was that way, not this way.”

“No it wasn’t, it’s this way, and I’ll prove it.”

Three large men stumbled into Thranduil’s backyard, and Thorin and Bilbo recognized them immediately from the Scavenger Hunt, having been in their vicinity on opening day. “Uh, hello there,” Bilbo offered, “Tom, Bert and William, correct?”

“Who are you? What are you doing here?”  Bert glared at him. He was grumpy, tired and hungry,

“Why, I’m Bilbo Baggins, from the scavenger hunt. And this is Thranduil’s yard; we’re having a dinner party.”

The three large men just stood there. Thranduil gracefully stepped over, gazing at them curiously. “Yes, as Bilbo said, we are having an outdoor party. Do you need some assistance finding your way home?”

“No,” said Bert, “we know where we’re going, they just need to listen to me.”

“Hah! You don’t know a thing! You got us in this mess!” Tom bellowed at Bert.

“The two of you are both wrong, you should have listened to me!” William started yelling at both of them, and Bilbo sighed. At least he already had a headache from the elevator incident early today. He started to wonder if he might have a beacon that attracted unwanted party guests.

Thranduil, ever the gracious host, invited the three large men to join his dinner party after it became clear that trying to send them on their way just wasn’t working. When the main course was served, he regretted his decision. The men wouldn’t stop arguing about the proper way to cook similar food over a campfire. And whenever Thranduil tried to gently prod them about where they were going so that he could help them find their way back, they wouldn’t tell him, simply dissolving into arguments once more.

Thranduil was clearly growing more frustrated, and when Thorin whispered in Bilbo’s ear “Serves him right for letting them stay, what a bunch of trolls those three are” Bilbo was aghast. “Thorin, he’s just being nice!”

“Bilbo,” he whispered back, “Look. I’m growing to like him, but if it was vice versa, he’d say the exact same thing about me. _I’d_ say the exact same thing about me. Inviting those guys to stay for dinner was a terrible idea.”

Bilbo couldn’t say anything about that, because it was true. So the dinner party went onward, William and Bert and Tom arguing about cooking over campfires while the others tried to maintain separate civil conversations. It would almost have been funny at some points, were the large men not so loud and disruptive.

As a cold watercress soup was served, Bilbo had an idea, a marvelous idea, remembering a conversation he’d overheard that first day of the Scavenger Hunt, when the brothers talked about a horrific food poisoning episode they had. He picked up his soup spoon and spoke above the noise to his hostess. “Have you heard, Gwíneth, that watercress carries parasites? Perhaps we shouldn’t eat this soup?”

Thranduil’s wife looked absolutely mortified, her eyes wide, shaking her head. “I am certain, Bilbo, that there…” But then she saw the nonverbal message Bilbo was trying to send her, motioning her to play along. “That there might be, I should check to see if it’s safe.”

“Parasites?” Bert huffed.

“Disgusting!” Tom pushed his plate back.

“I might have to agree.” Bombur’s wife whispered to her husband, looking nervous.

Nuris and Glóin raised eyebrows at one another, discreetly putting down their spoons at the same time, while Thorin wondered why on Arda his mild-mannered fiancé would make an uncharacteristically rude comment.

Dwalin shrugged, not seeing the problem, and he kept eating, as did Bombur. Dwalin’s wife started wondering if her stomach hurt, but she kept it to herself, thinking that if Dwalin’s started to hurt she would just tell him it was his own fault.

“Perhaps we should be on our way.” William stood up.

“Yes, perhaps. Toodle-loo-de-do, Thranduil!” Bert gestured to his brothers to follow him.

Dwalin spit out his soup; he’d never heard such a phrase before, and it seemed strange coming from a large man like Bert.

As they disappeared into the forest, Thranduil shook his hair over his shoulders and sat back in his chair, pensive. This dinner party certainly wasn’t turning out the way he wanted it to. Dwalin went back to eating, and Bombur didn't need to resume, since he hadn’t stopped. Bilbo picked up his own spoon, but Thorin put his hand on top to stop him from resuming his soup-consuming. “Bilbo, the parasites?"

Bilbo and Gwineth started laughing. “Thorin, when have you ever truly thought about parasites? Besides, it was just a ploy!” He turned to Thranduil. “Does this happen often? These unwanted visitors? I guess it might, living on the edge of such a large forested park.”

“Unfortunately yes. It’s the only downside of this location.”

The rest of the dinner party went well, quickly returning to the festive and welcoming atmosphere Thranduil and Gwíneth hoped to create. At the end of it all, everyone decided that the evening would become a fond memory.  They agreed to do it again, Dwalin’s wife offering to host the next one. The guests left, and Thranduil was cleaning up the dishes with Galion, who had grown even more unsteady on his feet from his wine consumption, when Gwíneth touched her spouse on his shoulder. “Look at this picture Legolas sent me. Gimli and our dear Sam the gardener certainly did finish that project, just like Mr. Treebeard had said.”

Thranduil stopped his dish-clearing to look at the photo Legolas had texted. “That’s certainly impressive. It turned out better than I thought it would. I wonder what will happen next.” He gave her a quick kiss, and then went back to piling the dishes.

“Well, I want to find out.” She began dialing Legolas’ number.

“Stop.” Thranduil said it without even turning to see what she was doing; he knew her too well. “He’ll call if he wants to talk, but maybe they’re busy, trying to talk things through.” He still didn’t approve of Gimli’s actions while he’d been waiting to date his son, but he also didn’t think it needed to be the end of their relationship, as long as Gimli made amends and made Legolas happy. In the past week the latter hadn’t been the case, but it had certainly been true before that; Legolas was happier than he’d ever been with Tauriel. He knew Gimli was a good guy, and as he and Gwíneth had discussed many times, Legolas was probably in love with Gimli before they started dating, but Gimli’s feelings were much less clear, at least then. So Thranduil was willing to give him a second chance—if Legolas was.

“Well, I’ll call him first thing tomorrow then. And I’d love to go see it, do you want to drive there later? Sam said the stakes would be viewable in the dark."

Thranduil sighed. “No, what if they’re still there? We need to leave them be, they’ll figure it out.”

She hadn’t thought of that. So instead she called Bilbo, having forgotten to ask him if he wanted to meet tomorrow to begin planning his wedding, since he’d had to cancel today.

Bilbo took her call as he and Thorin pulled up to his Bag End Drive house, thinking that meeting tomorrow was a wonderful idea. Thorin wasn’t very interested in going, but Bilbo was fine with that; party-planning was his domain, after all.

“Speaking of parties, Thorin, it seems like Frodo’s invited a few people over.” Inside, there were quite a few people gathered in his living room, watching a movie and talking about some sort of sailboat sabotage at the Grey Havens: Éowyn, Sam, Merry & Estella, Pippin, Bofur, Ori, Tauriel & Kili, Fili & a brunette woman that Bilbo didn’t recognize, and…. “The Mouth of Sauron?” Bilbo whispered to Thorin.

“Do you think, Bilbo, that this is a repeat of our dinner party? Unwanted guest? Or here by welcome invitation?”

Bilbo gazed at them as he and Thorin were greeted by everyone gathered, trying to decide.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Crebain = The crow-like black birds that Saruman used as spies.
> 
> Vingilótë = The ship Eärendil (Elrond’s father) sails in the night sky, with the Silmaril on his brow being Venus; in this story he’d just be a regular sailor. Earlier in this story, Legolas studies Venus, which he had nicknamed Eärendil after one of his favorite childhood tales.
> 
> Telperion and Laurelin are the Two Trees, and Ezellohar the hill that they grew on. 
> 
> Tyrn Gorthad = another name for the Barrow-downs


	10. Lost and Found

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some things are on their way to being lost, and some are on the path to being regained.

Sunday evening brought a full day of Bilbo Baggins’ wedding planning to a satisfactory close. With the welcome assistance of Thranduil’s wife Gwíneth, Bilbo had been introduced to the myriad of choices before him, and he quickly learned he wanted something grand yet unpretentious to celebrate his eagerly anticipated union with Thorin.

He and his fiancé were wrapping up their lively discussion about preferred wedding music – beginning with which of Thorin’s relatives and friends should form the band and ending with debate about the theme of the lyrics the betrothed pair might cowrite – as he walked slowly to his front door. Bilbo didn’t see Frodo sitting on the porch swing with his friend Sam until he was nearly face-to-face with them as he hung up his phone.

“Evening, Mr. Baggins,” Sam said politely.

“Hello Sam. Gimli told me this morning about the garden in Ithilien that you helped him build. Quite an impressive feat from the pictures I saw!” Bilbo thought that the project was a marvel and his effusiveness made Sam blush self-consciously.

Bilbo hoped to see the rare plants and trees that formed the starry sky-based Ithilien garden– as a viewer or a helper - after the scavenger hunt ended. And he certainly hoped it would help Legolas and Gimli find their way back to each other. Thus far it seemed to be: He’d actually seen the pair earlier today at Thranduil’s winery, the Greenwood Collection, while he was working on his wedding plans with Thranduil’s wife, and the pair’s friendship seemed to be on the mend.

“I think I’ll run in and grab some tea,” he said, turning to go inside, “and join you out here, it’s a beautiful night.”

“Uncle,” Frodo’s tone caused Bilbo to halt, “We’re actually waiting for The Mouth of Sauron to stop by, he forgot his jacket here last evening.” He didn’t add that he knew his uncle didn’t really care for the PR man, but it didn’t need to be said.

“Well, all the more reason then. You seem quite dedicated to being nice to him, and I’ll follow your lead.” He didn’t add that he wanted to see more of this man for himself, even keep an eye on his nephew –the latter seemed to be Sam’s dedicated project, so perhaps was a bit unnecessary, but he’d assist regardless.

Bilbo brewed a cup of tea for himself and one for Sam, Frodo declining, and joined them on the front porch. Soon afterward The Mouth pulled up on his motorcycle, its characteristic fumes as foul as always, his personal hygiene little better, a guest seated behind him.

“That man with The Mouth looks familiar,” Frodo whispered to Sam.

“I don’t reckon I’ve seen him before,” Sam whispered back.

“Frodo, Sam, Mr. Baggins,” The Mouth said with a cackle, “This is Benedict. Benedict Cumberbatch, the brains behind Smaug.”

Benedict shook hands with everyone as introductions were made.

Frodo went inside the house to find The Mouth’s coat, The Mouth following close behind, Sam tagging along out of his sense of obligation to keep an eye on his friend. Frodo found Sam’s behavior a bit ridiculous, but said nothing, deciding he’d speak to his friend – and his uncle – about their overprotectiveness later.

Bilbo found himself in the awkward position of needing to make small talk with this stranger who stood beside him. “So, are you a PR person as well?”

“No,” he answered back in his deep voice, “I’m Smaug’s CEO.”

“Oh, I see.” Bilbo, ever polite, tried to think of something to say that wouldn’t _quite_ be a lie. “Smaug Airlines, it’s – stupendous.” Stupendously horrible, Bilbo thought in the back of his mind.

Benedict studied Bilbo for long moments, craning his neck this way and that, and Bilbo felt utterly creeped out. Not due to these apparent motor tics, no, it was something about the way Benedict looked at him. He didn’t fear for his personal safety, yet he something felt wrong.

And then the CEO of Smaug Airlines spoke, and it felt even more awkward, for his words were – strange. “There’s something about you, something you carry, something precious. Your ring. Are you engaged?”

“Why yes,” Bilbo said, wondering how long it would be until Frodo came back outside, for this was even more awkward than he would have predicted. Exactly how long did it take to grab a jacket?

“Congratulations. It looks like one from Celebrimbor & Co. I know someone who collects them, if you ever would like to sell it, let me know.”

Bilbo frowned at the inappropriateness of the comment.

“And how are you finding this Scavenger Hunt that you’re doing?” As Benedict continued speaking Bilbo thought yet again that the CEO’s manner of questioning made him uneasy, and it wasn’t simply the fact that the freelance writer and riddle-solver was supposed to keep the battle for Arkenstone Hills under wraps.

Bilbo frowned. “I’m sorry, but I’m not supposed to discuss that with people who aren’t involved.” He thought for a moment, thinking his response sounded rude. “How about you, if I might ask? How is the airline business?” He knew nothing about aviation and truly wasn’t interested, yet he couldn’t think of anything else to ask.

“Hmmm,” Benedict said, “Where to even begin? We have a growth plan, and…”

The Mouth joined them then, along with Frodo and Sam. “Discussing expansion, I see?”

Sam was none too happy, his environmentally-driven ire overcoming his generally agreeable nature, though his tone was calm and measured. “I reckon more airline service isn’t something we really need. It hasn’t helped Ithilien, I’ll tell you that.”

“Ithilien?” Benedict frowned. “That desolate stretch of land? It was forestry that ruined that, and that ravaging forest fire, not the airport.”

Sam didn’t entirely believe that, and Bilbo tried to smooth things over, not wanting an argument to start.

“I can see why a person might think we need more air travel, but I could also see why they’d say we don’t. Maybe we even need another airport in a different location to replace the current one, perhaps that would help reduce its environmental impact?” He knew he had no idea what he was talking about, so he tried to change the subject. “Say, have you heard that the Goblin King is holding a charity walk this Halloween? And his costumes will be 50% off when you sign up to walk it. You don’t even need to get a coupon from his employees on the High Pass side of the street. I was there yesterday, and the selection of costumes is even bigger this year.”

Bilbo shuddered as he remembered being stuck in the elevator with Sméagol and Gollum. “They have some really great costumes. I might be Dr. Watson, or a burglar, or maybe a goblin. I haven’t decided.”

“What a coincidence,” Benedict said, “I’m always Sherlock Holmes on Halloween.”

This conversation also drew Sam’s attention, for he loved holidays of all types. “I reckon that’s a good costume. I’m not sure if I’ll dress up this year, but my girlfriend Rosie back home has begun making costumes for Mr. Bard’s children already. They’re going to be characters from Minecraft.” She’d come to visit recently and had taken measurements, having fallen in love with the children that Sam babysat.

Bilbo had tried playing Minecraft once, but found it too hard, and the recollection made him laugh. “My first foray into that game was my last. Building with pixels – if I never mine again, surely the world won’t miss it. But I bet they’re experts at it, and I’d love to see their costumes on Halloween, Sam. Make sure Bard brings them by to trick-or-treat, and I’ll happily give them extra candy.”

Benedict smiled and bid the trio goodnight as The Mouth led him away.

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

The next week of riddle-solving and scavenger-hunting flew by, and Thorin’s team found themselves in the midst of a decisive winning streak, one that placed them on the verge of claiming Arkenstone Hills. On Thursday evening, most of the team gathered at the Grey Havens Marina to celebrate at the BALROG BBQ, Gil-Galad happily assisting Arwen’s procurement of a coveted private group space for the team at the popular restaurant.

The brunette in question sat outside the restaurant waiting for Fili to arrive, and Balin passed her on his way in. “Good to see you, Arwen.” He looked down towards the beach with a smile, spotting Gimli and Legolas as they sat on the sand near the pier, talking quietly about their plans for Ithilien, fond looks on both of their faces. “It looks like they’ve been mending fences.”

“Maybe Gimli doesn’t need our contract after all.” Arwen craned her neck to get a better look, but they weren’t very visible from where she was sitting.

“Well even if not, it was a good experience. I should start writing prenuptial agreements, I think. Conditions of engagements, things like that.” Balin _had_ quite enjoyed it, and was strongly considering branching out to that standard contractual fare, or perhaps something more creative.

“Balin,” she laughed, “the contract you helped us write for Gimli was almost a novel. I can’t imagine how long a prenup written by you would be!”

“End to end, it would stretch from here to Edoras?” It was Fili, and Arwen was most excited to see him.

“Harumph! Perhaps. Come, you two lovebirds can sit with this not-so-spring-chicken and tell me what to order at this BBQ.”

The lovebirds in question laughed. “Balin,” Fili said, “They have a contest here. Eat the entire _Awaken the BALROG_ platter and you win a prize! You should make an attempt.”

“Or the Moria one. It’s a bit smaller. More manageable, but still an entire feat in itself.” Arwen added.

“I think that’s a bit more Bombur’s domain than my own. But I have a hearty enough appetite, so perhaps I will. Conquering Moria might be right up my alley.” And with that they walked inside the restaurant to celebrate the most recent win of Thorin’s team.

****

On the relatively isolated section of beach where he sat with his ginger-haired friend, no one near them aside from the pier above, Legolas leaned back on his elbows, digging his toes into the warm sand as he gazed out at the water. “I’d like to do this someday, Gimli.”

“Sit on the beach?” Gimli was confused.

“No, sail. You know that.” He turned and smiled at his friend, each sharing the warmth in the other’s eyes.

“Ah, I do. Speaking of that, I even found a boat-builder last week.” He pulled out his wallet, trying to find Cirdan’s business card. “And before you tell me you want to build your own, it’s just for guidance, surely we’d need that.”

“Surely.” Legolas stared at Gimli as the ginger-haired man dug through his wallet, surprised at how content he felt. Last week at this time his heartache was somehow both dull and intense, but ever since Gimli had shown him the garden he’d built with Sam’s help in Ithilien, things had been different. Gimli hadn’t even really seemed to notice Luthíen this week at the Scavenger Hunt, nor the other beautiful people milling about, and while he never thought Gimli was a philanderer, he was clearly trying to make due on his commitment to do whatever Legolas needed to trust him again.

It’d been friendship-only between the two of them since that night in Ithilien, rare plants like Elanor arranged in the shape of constellations with glittering garden stakes marking the stars. And the trees….the thought of the trees they’d planted, the ones they could plant in the future… it had made the pit in Legolas’ stomach disappear.

Legolas felt utterly content as they sat on the beach watching the sunset together, welcoming the turn of the tide in their relationship, not quite ready to take any steps forward yet, but most glad they weren’t taking any steps backward.

A groan from above interrupted the moment, and both looked up to see Balin leaning over the rail of the pier. “Are you alright?” Gimli called up to the legal ace.

“Laddie, don’t mind me. My eyes got the better of my stomach, so to say, and I dug too deeply into the richness of Moria. I’m glad now that I didn’t try the Awaken the Balrog option; the fire in my belly is intense.” He groaned as he rubbed his stomach.

“I take it you didn’t eat it all, Balin? Unfortunate that you tried and didn’t succeed.”

“Well, Gandalf said I was valiant yet foolish, and I daresay he was correct. I think I’ll stick to my strengths – wielding weapons other than my fork. If you want to come inside, lads, Bombur is trying to tackle what I could not.”

Gimli looked at Legolas, the tall blond’s face serene and amused, and shook his head, unable to move his eyes from the sight before him. “I think we’ll stay down here for awhile longer, Balin.”

Balin’s heart was light as he went back inside the BALROG BBQ, despite his stomachache, happy once more to see the two peacefully winding their way back to one another.

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

By Friday, Thorin’s team was almost _overly_ confident, even its gruffest members.

Sauron’s team, on the other hand, grew frustrated. As the riddle for the day was distributed, Sméagol working to decipher it, Annatar Sauron nodded for Angmar to join him off to the side.

“That one has solved half of these riddles before Thorin’s team finds an answer themselves.” He spat as he said Oakenshield’s name, his gaze targeted in Sméagol’s direction. “But your minions aren’t pulling their weight.”

“Minions, Annatar?” Angmar looked at his CEO, a wry smile on his face.

Annatar rolled his eyes impatiently. “Enough already. You know as well as I do that we’ve had head starts and should have won on Monday and Tuesday.” Then his voice turned much quieter, although it already could not have been overheard. “Now tell me, is it done?”

Angmar smiled more widely. “Of course. Denethor’s clerk is finalizing the paperwork as we speak. You can certainly rely on _me_ to make sure things happen, even if you can’t rely on my…minions.” The last word was uttered with scarcastic glee.

“Good.” Annatar Sauron then heard Sméagol squeal, and that meant the bald man had solved the riddle. They strode over to the group, Sauron’s eyes on one person in particular. “He let his heart rule his mind and grew careless. But like anything else, I’ll use that to my advantage.”

*****

On the opposite side of the TLKN-network campus, Bilbo read over the clue once more. Unlike his teammates, he was anxious, for their handy lead made him worry, ironically, that he had to solve these riddles even faster and more decisively than before. It was almost like a curse, a curse resulting from them doing well.

_A box without hinges, key or lid,_  
 _Yet golden treasure inside is hid._  
 _Not to be opened if they shall live._

His mind was frozen from his sense of internal pressure, negated only by the hand on his shoulder. “Harumph! Simple enough,” said Dwalin. “Eggs.”

Bilbo grew a bit annoyed, wanting to say _yes, yes, I know that already_ , for he certainly did. It was the rest of the riddle that was stumping him. But Dwalin was only trying to help, so he simply offered his thanks and pointed to the part that was escaping him.

And as he did so the answer came to him.

“Perhaps it’s the eggs of endangered species!” He almost hopped in his excitement in solving the riddle, the stress of its solving fading from his face.

All agreed that sounded correct, and the team split up into pairs, for there were many places in this University town that needed to be searched. There were the rare gulls that lived in a protected habitat at the Grey Havens Marina, the Mountain Thrush that settled near Arkenstone Hills, the Great Eagles that had inspired the airline of the same name, the Kirinki, Elven-birds, and more.

Bilbo and Thorin chose to go to the Petting Zoo, knowing they had a collection of many birds both exotic and rare, kept in a no-visitors-allowed area as part of continuing efforts towards preservation. But before they left for their separate destinations Frodo pulled his uncle aside. “Bilbo, you don’t seem like yourself. Are you alright?” Frodo’s gentle brown eyes were full of concern, and Bilbo gave him a brief hug.

“I’ll be fine, my boy. Just putting too much pressure on myself.”

Frodo smiled and nodded. “Well, after today, I’ll take over the riddle solving, and you can have a break!”

“Yes indeed, Mister Bilbo. Share the load, as they say.” Sam stood beside his friend, his face solemn.

Bilbo nodded, pleased at the caring bestowed on him. “Perhaps Thorin and I will go away for a weekend soon. Both of us have been under a lot of strain from this competition, even with it going so well, and it would be good to relax.”

“A wonderful idea, Uncle! I’ll reserve you a room at Bombadil’s Bed and Breakfast!”

An excellent way to celebrate, Bilbo thought, when they emerged victorious, which would be early next week if the winning streak continued.

When he and Thorin arrived at the Petting Zoo there was no one in sight. Of course it was closed at this time of day, and Bilbo would have knocked on the front door politely – if it had been clear _where_ to knock. No one was in the barn that served as the visitor’s entrance, and there were no clear signs of activity that they could see, but the Petting Zoo was immense and much of it was outside their field of view.

He was enjoying the scent of all of the clover planted around the parking lot when a tall man with black hair strode out to see them. Well, at least it seemed he had black hair, for he wore a bee keeper’s outfit and it was difficult to see much underneath it.

“Can I help you?” The tall man asked, frowning as if impatient and annoyed, yet he was neither. “We’re not open yet.”

“Well yes, thank you,” Bilbo replied, his voice apologetic, “I am sorry to intrude, but we’re in the midst of a scavenger hunt, and wonder if you might house the answer to our current riddle here.”

The man continued to frown, and Thorin’s answering gruffness was equally as intense. Bilbo noticed, and nudged him, the unspoken message clear. Thorin forced a smile, and the beekeeper smiled in turn.

“Ah,” he said, “Are you newly married? Or longer?”

“Just engaged, actually, for a couple of months.” Bilbo said.

Thorin drew a possessive arm around his partner, suddenly not liking this man’s interest in their personal affairs.

“Beorn,” the tall man said by way of introduction, somehow satisfied enough to lead them back to the petting zoo. “Come with me.” Beorn led them from the parking lot through a winding path that took them between some of the zoo's barns. “And where do you think this answer might be?”

“We’d like to look in your exotic birds section. Our the answer involves endangered bird eggs.” Bilbo answered. “Oh, and I’m Bilbo, and this is Thorin.”

“Just take care not to break anything Bilbo and Thorin, and don’t scare the animals.” The tall man was quite clear in his firm instructions.

“Of course.” Thorin said, adding his own thanks with a handshake.

“I’ll be tending to the bees if you need me.”

They walked towards the hatchery, noting their mutual surprise that this petting zoo also kept bees, belatedly realizing that _this_ was were Beorn’s Honey was made. Then Thorin’s phone rang. He considered ignoring it, but saw it was Balin and answered, quickly falling into a heated conversation.

Bilbo saw his beloved’s face blanch, and wondered what was wrong.

“The Scavenger Hunt is probably over,” Thorin said as he hung up the phone, the shock clearly evident on his face. “City Hall has claimed eminent domain over Arkenstone Hills. To build an airport.”

Bilbo was astonished. “Impossible!”

Thorin grunted. “Apparently not. They’ve filed paperwork for the land occupied by Longbeard’s, Bard’s Archery, and who knows what else. Smaug wins. And they weren’t even playing. I wonder what AZOG gets out of this.”

“AZOG was going to lose Arkenstone Hills, I cannot believe Sauron would stoop so low." Bilbo muttered. "We were so close to victory.”

Thorin nodded. He agreed, and having been so close to winning his family’s mining hills back was incredibly frustrating. It was so disheartening he didn’t even have words for it, but somehow he wasn't really that surprised. His feelings didn't change when Bilbo, Balin, Dwalin and the others tried to rally, talking about lawyers reversing the decision. Fili and Kili had something to legally fight for in their golf course, but Thorin? He had no legal rights to Arkenstone Hills, and if the Scavenger Hunt was over he had no hope at all of reclaiming what should be his. He retreated into anger and obsessive thought about _how_ he might succeed in staking his claim given this turn of events, and even Bilbo found it difficult to reach him.

****

“Well, I suppose that’s it.” Gimli hung up his phone as he and Legolas walked in Mirkwood, searching for the day’s scavenger hunt token amidst the natural habitat of the rare Giant Spiders that called the forest home.

“What do you mean?” inquired the tall blond, stopping his planned ascent of yet another tree.

“The scavenger hunt is over. The city annexed Arkenstone Hills, claiming eminent domain, and apparently they’re going to let Smaug build an airport there. And not just Arkenstone Hills, but most of the land that borders Vineyard Valley, including Bard’s Archery Range and Laketown Estates.” He sighed, all too easily recalling the warning the Mouth of Sauron had given during his lunch with Fili at the Green Dragon last Friday, information that both of them had vowed to keep secret.

“What?!“ Legolas repeated as if he couldn’t believe it, which he couldn’t.

Regret and surprise co-mingled in Gimli’s sigh, wishing he and Fili had done something to act upon The Mouth’s advice. Not by selling Longbeard's Miniature Golf to Annatar Sauron, of course, but by drawing up a battle plan to be prepared for contingencies. Yet all three of them – Gimli, Fili, and The Mouth - thought that there would be _time_. “Smaug’s going to build their own airport. I imagine Thorin is enraged. And I’m sure your Adar isn’t going to like having Smaug take over the land near his vineyard, Legolas.”

“I can’t think of many people who’d like that, Gimli.”

They began to walk to _The Halls_ , Thranduil and Gwíneth’s mansion in Mirkwood, as it was nearby and there was no need to return to TLKN-network headquarters today. The network was halting further production until their lawyers fully reviewed the developments with Arkenstone Hills, the contested overall prize of the Scavenger Hunt that Thorin’s team had been poised to win.

****

Thorin, true to Gimli’s prediction, was in a foul mood thereafter. He’d been _this_ close to winning Arkenstone Hills back. Given AZOG’s reaction, which was one of complete acceptance, the sentiment that Annatar Sauron and Smaug might be colluding with one another spread throughout the team. That is, it spread to everyone except Gimli and Fili, who _knew_ they were, and they conveyed all the information they could, although it seemed to matter little.

Thorin grew more disheartened when Boromir told him in confidence that he thought his father, Denethor, had ensured the paperwork was pushed through city council unanimously, apparently working under Angmar’s – and Annatar Sauron’s - thumb.

But things grew infinitely worse when a marketing campaign began shortly after a joint legal team representing Longbeard’s, the Greenwood Collection, Bard’s Archery, Laketown Estates, and Beorn’s Petting Zoo obtained an injunction against the city’s annexation.

Frodo watched the first joint effort to sway opinions on the part the city and Smaug – an attempt to ensure city voters would develop a positive attitude towards the planned airport – as he sat at home on Bag End Drive. The commercial made his head hurt more than any hangover caused by Merry and Pippin’s Signature Cocktails ever had. “Uncle Bilbo, you should come and see this.” Frodo said cautiously after he’d watched it three times, and he still wasn't entirely certain he believed what he’d seen.

Bilbo walked over to the living room from the kitchen where he was baking a pot pie for Thorin, hoping his continued patience and loving affection would help Thorin overcome his obsessively foul mood. Frodo had rewound to the commercial to its beginning once more, and when it began to play, the older Baggins gasped.

It was _himself_ , brazenly identified as the to-be-spouse of the CEO of Lonely Mountain Mining, advertising his support for Smaug’s plans to build another airport on the mining site.

“Smaug airlines, it’s – stupendous.”

“We need more air travel.”

“We need another airport.”

“Never mine again – surely the world won’t miss it.”

At first he was utterly confused and shocked – and then it came rushing back – it must have been recorded the night that The Mouth of Sauron and Benedict Cumberbatch had come over. His well-intended attempts at polite conversation had been taken entirely out of context. Now he knew how politicians felt – except he wasn’t a politician! “Oh,” he groaned, “I feel sick to my stomach.”

“Uncle Bilbo,” Frodo said, “I’m so sorry. I guess you were right about the Mouth of Sauron.” Yet even as he said it, he wondered if it wasn’t so simple – could the Mouth really be so two-faced? Or had he been manipulated by Annatar Sauron and Smaug as well? But as they watched it again, he grew convinced that The Mouth must have planned this the entire time.

Bilbo trepidatiously called Thorin, knowing he hadn’t seen _this_ yet, otherwise he certainly would have heard about it. “Bilbo,” Thorin said tersely after he watched it, “I hope there’s a good explanation for this.”

“Of course there is! He twisted my words entirely. He …”

“He? Who’s he? And how did you even end up being taped?” His anger was palpable.

“I had no idea it was being taped!” Bilbo cried indignantly.

“Impossible,” Thorin growled. “We’ve been followed by television cameras for the scavenger hunt, you know what it’s like. They’re hard to miss, Bilbo! This isn’t a low quality video taken by a smartphone!”

“I understand that, Thorin. I…” Bilbo sputtered, growing increasingly frustrated with Thorin’s unreasonableness, his unwillingness to consider his explanation. _Where_ was the benefit of the doubt? Buried in the Dead Marshes outside of town?

“You realize how this campaign undermines me? That my own fiancé is speaking against me on television?”

“Thorin, trust me. I’ll sue for slander or libel or whatever I need to. I didn’t say those things. I wouldn’t! And there’s no campaign here! It’s not like it’s a voting contest – you’ll go to court, fight this…”

But Thorin wouldn’t listen to a single thing he had to say. “You said what you said Bilbo. It’s on television. And I don’t own Arkenstone Hills, AZOG does, I have nothing to fight with! I cannot understand why you’d help them steal Arkenstone Hills from me when we were so close to winning it back. What, did you plan to just hand it over to Smaug?!”

“I’m no thief, Thorin. Nor am I a burglar. I suggest you stop this right now. I won’t stand for you treating me this way. Especially for something I didn’t do!”

“What are you then, a liar?”

Bilbo’s blood ran cold. He knew Thorin had a temper, but it’d never been directed towards him before, not like this. Part of him knew if he simply let him have space, he’d calm down, Dwalin would talk with him, things would be fine.

Yet a bigger part of him couldn’t believe his own fiancé was talking to him like this. It was like he was well on his way to becoming a different person, completely blinded by his desire to win Arkenstone Hills, so blinded that he couldn’t see the truth in front of his face.

“I’ll speak with you later, Thorin, when you’ve calmed down.” And then Bilbo hung up the phone on the LM2 CEO, and Thorin was even more infuriated.

For the first time in his life, Bilbo wished he could become entirely invisible, both to avoid the attention this commercial would send his way, and to avoid the wrath of his fiancé.

Frodo went to his room, where Bilbo’s very words – words of being manipulated and deceived – were repeated by The Mouth, the one he’d tried to be nice to, and he felt anger similar yet different from Thorin’s. _I thought I knew you_ , words that Thorin himself was thinking after Bilbo hung up the phone.

“Did you have this planned all along? Make me your friend and then betray me? Was this Scavenger Hunt just a game for you and Sauron?” Frodo yelled at The Mouth as soon as the PR man answered his phone, the call recipient expecting to chat about his Wine-Tasting Tour but instead being on the receiving end of Frodo's barrage of words.

“Not at all Frodo! I…” Yet for all of his PR experience, The Mouth couldn’t get a word in edgewise, let alone convince Frodo of anything. That perhaps he’d been blinded and used as a pawn as well.

“Sauron the Deceiver! Try _you_ as the Deceiver!” And for the first time in his life, Frodo wished he had an old-style phone so that he could slam the handset down. Hard.

“Frodo?” His uncle’s knock on the door came next, and Frodo opened the door, smiling wanly.

“I’m sorry Uncle Bilbo. I shouldn't have trusted him.”

The whole experience had Bilbo’s mind turned upside down, and he couldn’t believe what he said next. “I’ve been manipulated in this, Frodo. Maybe he was too. Things aren’t always what they seem.”

Frodo snorted. “Right now, dear Uncle Bilbo, I’d like to see The Mouth of Sauron taken to the Circle of Doom and locked behind the Door of Night.”

Bilbo gasped. “Frodo, don’t say such things! That isn’t something we would wish upon anyone.”

“Yes uncle,” he said meekly.

“Frodo, part of me wants to say I don’t want any more adventures, but the larger part of me says to go back is not good at all. Go forward, only thing to do.”

Frodo looked at his uncle with a frown, utterly confused. “What do you mean, Uncle Bilbo?”

“We have to figure this out, clear it up. If you’re up for it, of course. I don’t want my burdens to become yours.” Bilbo grew worried that he was being completely presumptuous, and Frodo could clearly see that.

“Uncle, I’d gladly share your burdens with you. So tell me, what do you have planned?”

 _That_ Bilbo wasn’t so sure about, and they talked for the remainder of the day about ideas. When Gandalf showed up at the front door unexpectedly, wanting to look in on Bilbo after he heard about the commercial, the gray-haired man was hesitantly and then warmly welcomed, and he joined the discussion as well.

Developing a plan, however, to fight powerful corporations with so many members of city hall under their control would take longer than the remainder of hours in a single day, and it would certainly require more pairs of hands than their own.

But Bilbo was up for the task, wanting to clear his name and right wrongs. Yet he grew disheartened if he entertained the thought of things between himself and Thorin not improving, even in light of well-meaning advice that Thorin simply needed time to calm down and be able to think with a clear mind. But if his fiancé doubted him like this, if he didn’t believe he had good intentions…..

Perhaps things wouldn't work out after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The character of Benedict Cumberbatch in this story is *not* intended to reflect how he might be in real-life.
> 
> Desolation of Smaug’s Benedict Cumberbatch (Smaug) and Martin Freeman (Bilbo) play Holmes and Watson in Sherlock (BBC, PBS). 
> 
> LM2 = Lonely Mountain Mining
> 
> The Mouth of Sauron – in case it isn’t clear, in this story he’s assumed a bit of the relationship dynamic and role that Smeagol/Gollum had in the movies/books with Frodo and Sam. 
> 
> Selected lines are taken from the Hobbit movies as well as the books.


	11. On the Eve of Halloween

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A few months after the unexpected end of the Scavenger Hunt, Bilbo tries to help Thorin by working with Bard and Thranduil. Gimli finds himself battling his own jealousy and insecurity. And Frodo isn’t sure _what_ to think.

The knocking at the front door of his modest Laketown Estates townhome was insistent, waking Bard from his rare late afternoon nap. He was exhausted. Running his archery range and taking care of three children was plenty enough, but adding in the legal fight to keep his business and his home in their current location...lately his tasks felt never-ending. 

He was thankful once more for the gem he had found in kind Sam Gamgee. The gentle-mannered babysitter had seen his fatigue and put his foot down in a most unexpected yet welcome manner, forcing Bard to let him help out by generously offering to take the kids overnight.

When Bard opened his front door he instantly remembered that he had uncharacteristically forgotten his Thursday plans. It was Thranduil and Bilbo, ready to discuss how they might work together in the battle against Smaug’s plan to demolish homes and business and replace them with an airport in the Northeast quadrant of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton. The battle had been facilitated by Denethor and others within City Hall – and, some wondered, perhaps by AZOG as well.

“Come inside and have a seat.” Bard led them to the kitchen in the upper level of his townhome, a comfortable space that had none of the fine furnishings found in Thranduil’s impeccable mansion. Instead it was outfitted with secondhand couches and chairs, decorated with children’s artwork, and generally littered with the telltale signs of children who forgot to pick up after themselves. When Bard had gone for the first time to Thranduil’s own home following the winery owner’s invitation to discuss the unfolding nightmare that was Smaug, he’d felt somewhat intimidated, hardly believing this seemingly untouchable multimillionaire would be interested in his humble opinions. But he quickly realized that while the winery owner had a taste for fine things – and the money to purchase them – he certainly wasn’t pretentious or dismissive.

Thranduil brought with him the financial and legal resources to help Bard and the others have a chance of winning the battle. Thranduil had the least to lose of everyone involved– his winery wasn’t directly affected by the city’s claim of eminent domain that would see the area razed and the airport built – but he certainly didn’t think it would be a positive development for his winery or Vineyard Valley in general.

“Is Frodo joining us? Or Gandalf?” Thranduil asked, expecting to see the young man seated when they reached the table.

“Unfortunately no,” Bard replied with a smile. “Frodo went with Sam, who took my kids to Farmer Maggot’s Pumpkin Patch. And I'm not sure where Gandalf is off to, I think he might be out of town.”

Bilbo fiddled with the coffee cup that Bard placed in front of him. “Frodo isn’t certain I should be here either, as I think I’ve told you.”

“Oh,” Thranduil contemplated his words as he picked up a scone, “I thought you might have reconsidered, and informed Thorin of your plans.”

Bilbo shook his head. “He didn’t react well to my suggestion that I go along with Fili and Kili to your most recent _Defeat Smaug_ meeting,” referring to the coalition that Bard had founded, a lively group of local businesses and home owners who would be negatively impacted if the additional Smaug-only airport came to be.

“Bilbo,” Bard said carefully, not wanting to overstep his bounds while having no desire to witness the deterioration of this nice gentleman’s romantic relationship, “I’m not certain Thorin would react well to our meeting. I’ve heard from Sam and Kili how difficult it was for the two of you after the commercial aired. I certainly wouldn’t want to dredge up old wounds or have Thorin think you’re acting behind his back, regardless of your good intentions.”

Bilbo nodded. “I’m fully aware of that potential consequence, but I know I can trust you to keep silent. I simply don’t think that Boromir’s insider help in City Hall is going to be enough to help resolve this. I need to do more.”

Thranduil and Bard both regarded him quietly, both understanding his point of view. Bilbo had approached them in service of his vow to undo the negative effects of the secretly filmed commercial that took his words out-of-context, manipulated his sentences, and made him look as though he thought little of LM2. A good deal of PR damage had been done in its short lifespan, Balin having obtained an injunction against its airing that very day. Balin continued to work on a lawsuit resulting from the debacle, although Bilbo had learned that legal proceedings were slower than molasses. Which worked to their benefit here, Bilbo supposed, as this would be no swift battle.

And then Bard broke the silence. “Well, it’s important for Boromir to keep up appearances. Wouldn’t want Denethor to find out that his son has been essentially spying on him and trying to unearth information for us.”

Thranduil laughed heartily. “Don’t feel too badly for Boromir. He certainly seems to be enjoying this. Part of me thinks he’d make a good spy.”

“Or person trying to emerge victorious in a political battle, maybe for government, assuming he doesn’t run into bad luck along the way.” And then Bard superstitiously knocked a few times on the table, primarily because Boromir had told them that luck occasionally ran against him.

It had been Gandalf's helpful suggestion - namely Frodo’s collaboration with Boromir in the wake of the commercial’s airing - that had thawed the initial chill between Bilbo and Thorin. When Bilbo had happily announced to his fiancé that Boromir would assist them from inside City Hall, Thorin welcomed it. He knew then that Bilbo truly meant no harm. 

But Thorin didn’t know about _this_ meeting, and Frodo had advised Bilbo against going, as they both knew Thorin would be none-too-happy to see Bilbo involved in something he had been asked to stay out of.

Yet Bilbo couldn’t idly stand by and twiddle his thumbs. If the battle against the City and Smaug was successful, the TLKN-network would resume the Scavenger Hunt – meaning the battle for Arkenstone Hills, one that Thorin had been poised to win. Bilbo would do whatever he could to assist his fiancé in achieving his goal, for harm of the PR variety was destructive and made swaying public opinion in Thorin's direction much more difficult. Benedict Cumberbatch was taking advantage of it - Smaug's CEO was currently pledging to preserve the mining site as a historic landmark, although no one in Thorin's circle believed his words. He'd mine whatever he could out of those Hills as soon as he owned them, and it was highly unlikely it would be done in an environmentally sensitive way. Or perhaps what would come to pass was what Dwalin thought, that Smaug had cut a deal with Annatar Sauron that would somehow allow AZOG to have continued access to Arkenstone Hills after the dust had settled.

No, too much was at stake for Bilbo to watch from the sidelines. And so he had convinced himself that _this_ type of meeting didn’t count as involving himself in Thorin’s business dealings. Thranduil and Bard hadn’t quite agreed, but they clearly saw Bilbo's earnest nature, and they both knew they’d benefit from Thorin’s assistance.

“So, Bilbo,” Bard said, looking at him intently, “what can you tell us about Thorin or LM2 that would help us win this? Or more precisely, how can we get Thorin to help us battle Smaug and City Hall? It’s just as you'd told us, he has no desire to work with us.” Which was certainly true, as Thorin had rejected the idea of working with the Defeat Smaug coalition, part of him none-too-happy that Fili and Kili had been involved. But he couldn't sufficiently explain why, and he really couldn't say anything against it given their ownership of Longbeard’s Miniature Golf, located in the very area that Smaug hoped to demolish.

No, Thorin had decided only his inner circle could be trusted after what had happened with Bilbo’s unwitting commercial…and so Bilbo took a deep breath, setting out to try to change his opinion in an indirect way, trying to determine ways Thranduil and Bard could influence Thorin in a more successful manner. And if that didn’t work, at least Bilbo could help Thranduil, Bard, and the entire Defeat Smaug coalition in their venture to stop the airport - which would lead to Thorin's victorious claiming of Arkenstone Hills in a then-resumed Scavenger Hunt.

He'd just have to keep his participation a secret, because he knew in his heart of hearts that Thorin wouldn't be happy if he found out.

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

Thorin rearranged the cloak on his shoulders, looking in the dressing room mirror as if he was seeing himself for the first time in months. His face was tired, grim, his body slouching, the loss of Arkenstone Hills carried on his shoulders while he worked nearly nonstop to manage LM2 and win back what should rightfully be his. He straightened, wondering if this faux fur-trimmed outfit would do.

He was tired of looking for costumes, having tried on a variety thus far, the black _Angry Crebain_ earning the biggest snickers from Kili. Tauriel had tactfully taken her spouse to look for his own Halloween attire in another section of the _Goblin King’s House of Costumes_. The tall redhead could clearly see that her Uncle-in-law’s nerves were raw – although one would have to be forever frozen in stone _not_ to notice – and her husband’s good-natured humor was _not_ appreciated at this moment.

That left Fili and Arwen to tend to the scowling man as he grumbled about _why did I agree to this in the first place_ , although his choice of adjectives was certainly not G-rated. 

In the end it was Arwen who found a costume that seemed to suit him, one from the _Sons of Durin and Isildur_ series from the TLKN-network that commanded attention without even trying, just like Thorin himself did.

And when Thorin stepped out of the dressing room in the costume she had chosen, Arwen knew she was right. He looked almost regal in the cloak, and somehow the sword even suited him – although he didn’t need this cheap plastic one. When Bilbo had been stuck in the elevator that day during the summer, the Goblin King had given Thorin the sword found by William and Bert and Tom, the one engraved _Orcrist_ that had served as the template for his Goblin Cleaver line.

Ignoring Thorin’s dour expression – one that never left his face since the aborted ending of the Scavenger Hunt – Arwen strode over to him and examined him with a critical eye, nodding her approval. 

“Where’s Fili?” Thorin asked, wanting his nephew’s opinion.

“Over there,” she nodded her head to where Fili stood chatting with Boromir.

“Hmm, we chose almost the same thing, it seems.” He said with a bit of a frown as he saw Boromir’s costume.

“Not at all – he’s a different character from the same tv series.”

“Ah!” The Goblin King strode over to them with a flourish. “You look most regal, Thorin! A veritable King of Lonely Mountain Mining, I’d have to say!" 

Thorin nodded politely, tolerating this only because he had agreed those months ago to be the guest of honor at the Costume King’s annual Halloween celebration.

“You know, I have a costume like that in the handmade section. You deserve the best. I’ll get G.S. to run and grab it for you.” He gestured to his Goblin Scribe, who wheeled off to locate it. “This will be a grand party, Thorin! This _Paths of the Dead Halloween Extravaganza_ will be the best yet!” And with that, the Goblin King strode off, leaving Thorin to shake his heads in bewildered wonder – not necessarily a good type of wonder – for could his motive truly be that he simply wanted Thorin to marshal his charitable walk and be the honored host of his party?

But perhaps it _was_ simply that. Thorin had always been a slow-to-trust sort of person, and the debacle this summer had simply reinforced that tendency.

“Do we need to pick up something for Bilbo, Thorin?” Arwen asked, interrupting his thoughts.

“No, he picked out his costume a couple of months ago. He’s more of a planner than I am, I suppose.” He looked at himself in the mirror once more, wanting to make sure this type of costume _fit_.

It _did_ , he decided.

“Oh, what is he going to be?” She asked as she turned her attention to looking through the racks to find a costume for Fili. She greatly enjoyed sewing and had made her own costume this year, but it felt too soon in their relationship to do so for her boyfriend yet. She liked to take things slow.

And so they passed the time talking about costumes until G.S. returned, bearing a most marvelous costume indeed, one that would be fit for any King. ~~~~

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

Gimli pulled up to the Greenwood Collection, embarking on his search for Legolas within the crowded winery as soon as he walked out of the parking lot. It was a beautiful, unseasonably warm late Thursday afternoon in Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton, but his own mood wasn’t quite so lovely.

It was partially the result of his job – after the commercial with Bilbo had aired, Gimli had returned to working overtime at LM2. As Thorin’s environmental officer, he paired with their PR department in crafting messages that would counteract the unintentionally damaging ones that Bilbo had seemed to convey.

Summer and the Scavenger Hunt were behind them now, yet things with Legolas hadn't gone very far. At first Gimli thought that the tall blond simply had a different sense of time – he _was_ the one who initially wanted to wait two months before dating, after all, and wanted to take things slowly once more. It didn’t help that Gimli had been so busy – he wasn’t able to spend as much time with Legolas as he wanted.

But now the son of Glóin began to wonder if Legolas was simply afraid to take things further.   Which was absolutely fine with him – he’d wait an eternity if he needed to.

It was when Gimli started to wonder if Legolas wanted to take things further with _someone else_ that was a problem, even though there was no one else in the picture. But he recalled Legolas' words in Ithilien, when he'd first shown him the garden. _What if I’m never ready? What if I want to date someone else?_

Gimli kept his thoughts to himself, though, because he knew they had no basis in reality, at least not so far.

Jealousy was rather foreign to Gimli. He’d certainly been pierced through the heart when Galadriel eloped with Celeborn, and his romantic relationship with Éomer had ended bitterly, but he wouldn’t describe any of the accompanying emotions in either foray into longer-term commited monogamy as jealousy or envy.

Yet now when he saw Legolas giving the time of day to anyone that Gimli could even _remotely_ imagine him dating – Legolas simply being his polite self, perhaps more happy than usual given his contentedly slow steps with his heart’s desire, namely Gimli – Gimli’s jealousy flared like nothing he’d ever experienced before.

Gwíneth, Legolas’ mother, saw the short ginger-haired man approach from her vantage point on one of the winery’s terraces, and she smiled warmly, walking down to him and embracing him fondly. “Legolas is in the apple orchard. It’s good to see you. How is your uncle?” Her face turned pensive as she stood back to study Gimli’s face, wondering if that was the cause of his apparent ill mood.

Gimli sighed. “The same, I’d say." 

“Unfortunate.” Gwíneth replied with a frown. She knew more of what had occurred than she let on to others. Bilbo had confided in her a great deal during their ongoing wedding planning – planning that Mr. Baggins had thought was for naught after the commercial first aired. She’d ended up comforting him the next day when he’d called to cancel their appointment, helping him through his low mood and – even more importantly – giving him advice on how to talk things through with the reticent CEO. “Well, perhaps he’ll come around. Surely he’ll see that my husband and Bard – as well as the others – could help him in his goal to win Arkenstone Hills back.”

Gimli nodded, but he didn’t believe it. And neither did Gwíneth, not really, not based on what she’d learned about the CEO. He was stubborn and unyielding when he had set his mind on something, and he’d somehow become convinced that only his inner circle could help him hold Arkenstone Hills in his hands again.

Gimli made his way around the back of the main building to the apple orchard, his heart swelling when he saw the tall blond in one of the apple trees, helping Mr. Treebeard harvest apples. Legolas still climbed them like he did when they were kids. He shook his head as he wondered, not for the first time, how in Durin’s good name Legolas managed to climb up there.

A wide smile greeted Gimli as Legolas lept to the ground and kissed his cheek.

“Hoom!” Mr. Treenbeard cleared his throat. “Nice to see you, Gimli. Thanks again for helping me today, Legolas, you should take a day off more often!”

Legolas grabbed the large rolling bin he'd been filling with apples and began walking with Gimli back towards the winery. “I’m glad you’re here. I’m surprised your meeting with Thorin lasted this long. I thought he was giving you the afternoon off.”

“He wanted to show me his costume, so I had to stop by the costume store.” He didn’t quite understand why Thorin was willing to be guest of honor at the Goblin King’s party. Sure, proceeds went towards an honorable charity, and Gimli didn’t doubt the Goblin King’s motives, not really. It didn’t make sense to him because Thorin seemed to want to put the entire Scavenger Hunt fiasco behind him, and the Goblin King was a stark reminder of that, even if he’d been a side player.

But Thorin had committed to it, and he would see it through. And he thought it might help LM2 garner some positive publicity.

“So how is he? By the expression on your face I’d say not so good.”

Gimli nodded as they began walking through the orchard, Legolas stopping occasionally to put apples in the bin that he dragged behind them. “The same.”

“He’s certainly been in a foul mood ever since the Scavenger Hunt ended – I’ve never seen anything quite like it before. Although I suppose it was worse when Bilbo’s commercial came out.” He whistled, shaking his head. “I never want to see something like that again, that’s for sure.”

“Well, at least they made up. Though my hat is off to Mr. Baggins, he certainly tolerates some ill moods.”

“Aragorn!” Legolas called across the orchard as the scruffy man approached, drawing their attention away from their conversation. “Good to see you. What are you doing here?” 

“I came to see if you’d like to head over to the Goblin King’s Haunted House. Or maybe the corn maze at Farmer Maggot’s, I’ve heard it’s fairly scary.”

Gimli frowned as all sorts of thoughts went through his head. First of all, as embarrassed as he might be to admit it, he scared easily. This _really_ wasn’t how he wanted to spend his time. He’d rather they just went without him – but he was afraid to leave them alone together. He had _no_ reason to believe that Legolas was attracted to Aragorn, or vice versa. Aragorn still seemed to be pining over both Éowyn and Arwen, he’d certainly learned his lesson, _and_ he was a good friend. Gimli knew if he could trust anyone, he could trust Aragorn and Legolas. 

He knew his jealousy was out of control, and he needed to do something about it before Legolas caught on. Maybe he should try to let them go alone?

“Come on, Gimli!” Legolas grabbed his hand – and didn’t let it go. “Don’t worry, we both know these things scare you. We’ll both protect you.” He smiled fondly as he said it.

Aragorn bowed to him, his grin just as wide. “You have me at your service.”

Gimli rolled his eyes, trying to think of an excuse. “Oh no you don’t!” Legolas said. “We’re doing this together.”

And so they left in Aragorn’s car, Gimli sitting in the back seat and studying every interaction between the two as if their banter was a fine gemstone that needed to be examined for any potential tiny flaw.

He knew he was being ridiculous, yet he couldn’t stop his thoughts, and he also knew Legolas would catch onto it – perhaps not today, but soon enough. So he texted the person he thought could give him the best advice – Galadriel. 

She was surprised to hear from him, but she had left an open invitation as far as Legolas was concerned, and was happy to provide all sorts of advice. At least the back-and-forth kept Gimli from his detailed analysis of every interaction between the pair in the front seats.

They reached the Goblin King’s Haunted House and walked inside. “What were you doing back there?” Legolas asked, grabbing Gimli’s phone.

Legolas frowned, not really liking what he saw – that Gimli had been texting Galadriel. A sense of fear grew in Gimli’s stomach that was worse than anything he felt around the green-hued, _too_ realistic wraiths that currently surrounded him. They stood in the dark, ever-creepy staging room of the Goblin King’s Haunted House, waiting for the Dark Door to open so that they could enter the Haunted House proper. It was the Goblin King’s effective method of regulating the flow of customers into the attraction, but Gimli found waiting in here to be almost worse than wandering the hallways of the house proper.

Then Legolas started to chuckle as he whispered to Gimli. “You’re jealous? Of Aragorn?” He laughed quite loudly then, drawing Aragorn's attention away from his study of the Goblin King’s admittedly superb decorating. If the staging area was _this_ well done, the Haunted House would be _superb_ this year.

“What’s so funny?” Aragorn asked.

“Nothing.” Legolas replied, not able to stop his chuckles.

“Tell me. I hope you’re not laughing at Gimli's fear, Legolas.  Not everyone is fearless like you," he said with an amused smile. "This is scary enough.” He looked around, feeling quite unsettled as he marveled at the Goblin King’s gift for creating all-too-realistic undead props, and then looked back at the pair. "Certainly not a way to treat your boyfriend." 

Legolas looked at Gimli thoughtfully. “No, I suppose it’s not.” And then he kissed him, so passionately that Aragorn wished he wasn’t standing nearby. Except he had nowhere to go while they waited in the staging room, not until the Dark Door opened.

So he turned to study the creatures once more, wishing he had his own love with him here.

~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~0~~

Farmer Maggot’s Pumpkin Patch – his seasonal operation within his larger Vegetable Fields – was as busy as always, even if it could stand to be renamed. Sam, given his previous employment there, had been invited to take advantage of all it had to offer. And there were no barking dogs protecting the Pumpkin fields, Farmer Maggot having learned the first year that while his dogs protected him from theft, they also scared away any potential Pumpkin Patch customers. 

Bard’s children were enjoying the outing even more than he’d expected, and certainly more than they had expected. For all that Sigrid and Bain claimed that they were too old for a pumpkin patch - that this sort of thing was for kids of Tilda’s age – they certainly _seemed_ to be having a good time. The kids had smiles on their faces when Éowyn had walked over to say hi and offered to take them on a tour of the pumpkin patch via a hay ride.

Sam had been pleasantly surprised when he learned that Rohan Ranch and Farmer Maggot were collaborating this year, the Ranch providing horses for various sorts of rides, all assisted by the Ranch’s staff.

He and Frodo were sitting in a large grassy field that Farmer Maggot had nicknamed Firienfeld, a newly acquired expansion to his sprawling operation.They’d had a picnic before Éowyn had taken the kids in the large horse-drawn wagon, and they sat snacking on the leftovers as they relaxed in the later day sun. As they waited for the children to return, contemplating trying out the Dimholt corn maze to cap off their day, they spotted something Frodo definitely _didn’t_ want to see – the Mouth of Sauron.

“What’s he doing here?” Frodo whispered to Sam.

“I reckon I’m not sure, Frodo.” Sam whispered back. “Just go on ignoring him like you’ve been doing. I suppose he’s got as much business being here as anybody, even if he _is_ a slimeball.”

“Sam! Don’t say that.” Even if he thought it himself, hearing it didn’t sound like something either of them should say out loud.

Sam sighed. “Sorry. I just don’t like what he did to you, that’s all.”

Frodo wasn’t quite sure what to think about that. Uncle Bilbo had certainly told him enough times that he should give The Mouth the benefit of the doubt, especially after he’d offered his own, free-of-charge PR services to LM2 to rectify the damage done by the commercial – an offer that Annatar Sauron would surely _not_ have appreciated.

Bilbo’s words were starting to sink in. Frodo trusted his uncle’s judgment, and Bilbo certainly seemed to feel strongly about it. Yet he also trusted Sam’s opinions, and _his_ viewpoint was the entire opposite. It made for a large pile of confusion, everything considered, and the only thing clear was this: He’d certainly lost sight of treating The Mouth politely.

He was a bit ashamed of himself, all things considered.

“Not to worry, Frodo,” Sam said, interrupting his train of thought. “The kids are almost back, so I say let’s pack up and get ready to go into the corn maze. Besides, The Mouth seems pretty occupied himself – looks like he’s on a date. I reckon that’ll keep him out of your hair for good.”

Frodo looked over to where The Mouth was standing near Farmer Maggot’s large scarecrow exhibit – a lively assortment of all sorts of Halloween characters in scarecrow form – and saw what Sam had said was true. He was holding hands with some person that Frodo didn’t know. He’d obviously taken everything Frodo had done to ignore him to heart – he completely ignored him in return when he caught Frodo staring at him.

And Frodo wasn’t sure what he thought about that.  Aside from feeling badly.  And, if he was honest, perhaps a bit jealous.

“Sam, I think I’m going to talk to him. Maybe apologize.”

“What? No, Frodo. That’s silly. It’s for the best.” Sam said incredulously. “Let’s go to the corn maze. The kids are back.”

And so they did. But even though the maze was a sight to be admired, not to mention a lot of fun, Frodo found himself running into dead ends quite often, losing sight of Sam and the kids as they had a marvelous time searching out paths in front of him.

Bain came back to fetch him when he noticed Frodo was missing once more. The boy laughed – all of them found it quite funny that Frodo seemed to have no sense of direction.

“Frodo! I’m glad we didn’t put you in charge! We’d have to stay _here_ overnight instead of at Sam's!” Bain grabbed his hand and dragged him back to the group.

But Frodo still felt a bit lost, even though the kids dedicated themselves wholeheartedly to making sure Sam’s friend made it through the maze.

Bumping into The Mouth kissing his date in one of the dead-ends certainly didn’t help.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LM2 = Lonely Mountain Mining
> 
> In trying to figure out what Thorin might wear for Halloween, I searched briefly online for costumes and decided he might try one similar to those I found for Game of Thrones (Jon Snow, fur-trimmed cape and sword included), and of course they had one for Ned Stark (Sean Bean's character - I don't watch that show but I know he met an untimely end... :-( {Sean Bean was Boromir in LOTR}
> 
> Firienfeld = The mountain field of grass of Dunharrow (the Rohirric refuge in the White Mountains that is close to the Paths of the Dead). Here I’ve just made it a grassy field.
> 
> Dimholt = Woods situated near the Paths of the Dead. Here I’ve turned it into a corn maze.


	12. Appendix 1: The Prancing Pony Signature Dishes Menu

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Merry & Pippin's Prancing Pony Signature Dishes menu (there would be a separate, absolutely huge main menu with dishes for all of the different meal categories).......inspired by Aragorn throwing apples at Merry & Pippin when they are complaining about missed meals, Sam talking about taters & cooking rabbits, Merry & Pippin stealing carrots and cabbages, Sméagol eating raw fish, and the love Hobbits have for mushrooms. And some Hobbit-book food. I am assuming Lembas bread tastes absolutely delicious :-)

**Prancing Pony Restaurant & Bar**

**Signature House Dishes**

**_The Breakfast_ **

Farm fresh eggs cooked to order, served with sautéed baby red potatoes and porcini mushrooms. Pair with our Apple Cider Mimosa.

**_The Second Breakfast_ **

Yukon gold and crimini mushroom latkes, served with warm apple compote. Pair with our Apple Sangria.

**_The Elevenses_ **

Chanterelle mushroom soup and lembas breadsticks. Pair with our Blonde Ale.

**_The Luncheon_ **

Warm lembas flatbread topped with white button mushrooms, fontina and sage. Pair with our Ent Draught.

**_The Afternoon Tea_ **

Ahi tuna on lembas thins with assorted crudités. Served with buttered raspberry scones, honey or seed cakes and seasonal fruit. Pair with our Apple Chai Martini or Miruvor cordial.

**_The Dinner_ **

Oyster mushrooms, carrots, cabbage and hare stir-fried in a delicate apple and ginger sauce. Pair with our signature house cocktail, the Prancing Pony.

**_The Supper_ **

Grilled portobello mushroom cap and Porter-caramelized vegetables, served on a toasted lembas baguette. Served with roasted fingerling potatoes. Pair with our apple-infused Amber Lager.

**_The Prancing Pony Pork Pie_ **

Apple-smoked bacon, carrots and sharp cheddar in a creamy lager sauce and puff pastry crust. Pair with our Pale Ale.


	13. Appendix 2: Map of Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Khazâd-Edhel-on-Hobbiton's major streets and locations

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LM2 = Lonely Mountain Mining
> 
> Roads are colored black (highway/freeway/motorway), yellow (primary roads), white (additional roads). Only major streets are shown.
> 
> I will update this as I work on the scavenger hunt and as I add new chapters/locations as well.......not all streets/locations/etc are labeled.
> 
> Fonts are not used commercially here, of course, and are "first order" © Daniel Zadorozny and "kelt" © Bay Animation Inc., 1994. Map created in Ortelius mapping software and is also not for commercial use. And as always everything else belongs to Dr. Tolkien, not me!

**Author's Note:**

> Khazâd = Dwarf  
> Edhel = Elf  
> 


End file.
